I love my state, I really do.
Maine has beautiful scenery, clean air, quaint villages, a huge craft beer industry and lobster I can’t eat….
But we also have a thirst for knowledge.
And classes for almost everything… as proved by the local continuing education brochure I received last week.
(There’s an ass on the cover named Jack Cass, you know it’s going to be good.)
Alongside the normal foreign language and computer courses there are some Maine-centric things like boat captaining and crossbow hunting, but I’m going to focus on the odd. The funny. And the downright bizarre.
There are too many seriously wackadoodle choices for one blog, so it’s going to be a weekly series until I run out of ridiculousness. Let’s begin.
Class #1 :
Quantum Spoonbending.
Yes, you read that correctly. The description is as follows…
“What is the value of this spoon bending class? If, with very little training, you can easily bend a spoon that you could not easily bend before (if at all), then you can begin to see how powerful you actually are! Learn to access the subtle energy field that surrounds us all. The metal softening mechanisms you will learn in this class are actually quantum mechanics techniques you can transfer to enhance your daily life. This is the same energy field ancient and new age healers are accessing to perform healings and miracles. You will learn and practice several different techniques that will not only allow you to bend spoons, but allow you to experience inducing other changes in material reality. Learn how healers have been able to mend broken bones instantaneously and see how it might be possible for you to perform miracles in your own life. There is a $10 materials fee payable to the instructor at the start of class. No discounts.”
Let’s break this down –
1) Do I need a spoon to realize how powerful I really am?
Doubtful.
2) Transferable techniques to enhance my daily life.
Really?
(Sorry, I couldn’t resist)
3) If it’s the same process people are using to perform healing and miracles… why would I be happy just bending a damned spoon?
4) A $10 material fee with no discounts.
But… but…
What if I bring my own spoon?
Classes start Nov. 7th 6-8:30
Duration 3 weeks.
River's world..... 
LET’S GO!!!
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No.
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AWE!!! C’mon! It’ll be good for a laugh or two!!
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I think Boo is right.
You’ll never be able to bend spoons with a closed mind. 😀
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You’re right. My spoons are doomed to be unbent….. it’s my cross to bear.
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at quantum level if I bend one spoon, an entirely unrelated spoon will also bend somewhere in the universe. That’s been done for quarks, why not spoons?
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If a spoon bends in a forest, and no one is around is to see it….. do I have to use a fork?
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… gee. I woke up this morning thinking gee I would sure like to bend a few spoons with my mind. But I think it would seriously hork Snookums off if I started bending her silverware, so I settled for making coffee disappear from the mug.
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The better part of valor, that….
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Odd???? You don’t know what odd means until you come to Florida and I am not only talking about the adult education courses!
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Been to Florida many times. Can’t take the heat!
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PS So what classes did you sign up for? And Fred?
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Stay tuned….
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Seriously? You’re not going?
What if a spoon wielding maniac hurtles towards you? You’ll be unprepared to disarm him that’s what.
I’m shocked at your shortsightedness.
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You make a valid point, but I’m too out of shape to bend…. therefore, I shall just throw pudding at them.
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You’ll have to use a fork because Spoon Man has all the spoons!
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Omg! Is this for real, or have you made up your very funny list!? I’m serious 😂 It’s really made me giggle., do they really want 10 pounds for a spoon pack? 😂
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It’s totally real, and bizarre…. and perfect blog fodder. Stay tuned, there’s lots more!
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Considering I live on Spoon Theory, I wonder if there is advanced course where we learn to replicate them and double our spoons each day???
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I think it’s strictly a bending course. Jack Cass the mule says, “No more spoons for you!”
😬
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Dammit !Now I need a course on Mule Bribing 101.
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Stay tuned… from the look of this brochure, there might be one available.
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Oh wow 🙂 you’ve got to go ! You can then teach the rest of us? Nothing would please me more at the moment than an international spoon bending correspondence course.
…pleeeeeeeease
😀 😉 😀 😉 😀
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Hmmm… International spoon bending professor? It has a certain ring to it.
But, no.
As tempting as that might be.
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… a life lived without harnessing your very own quantum mechanics spoon bending style. 🙂
Consider the possibilities. You could join the X men?
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Wait a minute…. does that mean I could bend Wolverine’s adamantium claws? I’m in!!
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I have bent a spoon. Watch a YouTube video. At home, in your pajamas. Then maybe see what happens with Jhanvi, Roli, and Simar.
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That’s riveting television right there…. I’m on the edge of my seat just thinking about the cliff hanger, Does the muck get wiped off? Does Jhanvi mix it in her coffee? Inquiring minds want to know!
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