Diet is a four letter word.

 

I used to be one of those blissfully happy women who never worried about their weight.

I’ve never been rail thin mind you, but I was a fit child, a coltish pre teen, a slim teenager and a curves in the right places adult. I wore whatever was in fashion and if I don’t mind saying so…. rocked it.

Then I turned 30 and gained 10 pounds. No biggie, I’m short but I could carry it.

 

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I turned 40 and gained another 10 pounds.  Hmm… had to rethink those crop tops and short skirts, but okay.

 

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When I turned 50? Only 5 more pounds… I figured I’d reached my leveling off point.

 

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Then…. after a medical issue made a full abdominal hysterectomy necessary and I was thrown into menopause? I gained another 15 pounds. That put me in the “Hooray! Long loose tops are back in style and where do I find that Jane Russell 18 hour bra?” category.

WTF? My body was in revolt. Food was no longer my friend!

I dieted,  I cursed my womanly existence, I exercised, I swore like a longshoreman,  I drank the equivalent of friggin’ Lake Erie in water every day and nothing happened. I tried low fat, low carb, I gave up every delicious thing I could think of (except alcohol because… well, geesh. I had to have a reason to live.) But still the weight didn’t come off.

To be honest it drove me nearly crazy for 2 years until I said …..

 

 

Life is too short to never eat bread. And cheese. And every other wonderfully fatty high calorie thing I’d been denying myself. (Come to momma cappuccino mousse trifle… I’ve missed you!)  If my body wanted to be  round,  voluptuous,  larger than it was, then who was I to argue.

So I bought bigger pants. Hell, I have bunions and had to buy bigger shoes, so what…. it was another excuse to shop.

 

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Yes, I miss thin. Not everyday mind you  (thank you yoga pants!)  but when I have an event like a wedding, or funeral, or horror of horrors… a class reunion where there are people I haven’t seen in 20 years?  It drives me to drink.  No, I won’t be unrecognizable from my former self, but I’m always conscious of the difference. And women are famous for beating themselves up about that. Men embrace their beer bellies and proudly pat them. Women try and squeeze their muffin tops into torture devices called Spanx.

Oh, well… such is life.  It took me a while, but I’ve learned to embrace the larger version of myself. I may not always love her, but I’m healthy and happy…. and in the end, isn’t that much more important than squeezing into a smaller size?

 

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And exercise? Okay, you got me.

It was never my strong suit.

 

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21 thoughts on “Diet is a four letter word.”

  1. Loving the “Honey we’ve still got it” meme 😀

    Diet is just the word “die” with a ‘t’ at the end of it.

    We could thoroughly enjoy the limited time left to us,
    Or,
    Starve, adding a few more miserable and restrictive years onto our time remaining.

    It’s a fabulous excuse to shop.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Die with a “t”. Yup… that pretty much sums up what I felt like doing for 2 years.
      As for shopping, I never need an excuse, but it’s nice to be able to say, “Yes. I had to buy 6 new pairs of pants and 12 new shirts” and actually mean it for a change.
      😝

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It scares me how we think alike. However…I joined weight watchers and as of last night, I’m down 18 pounds from when Nick passed.

    I celebrated with a pastry this morning……………..yes I did.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Our bodies do amazing things for us every day. They let us get out of bed and stretch and touch our toes and wander across the floor and wash our face and brush our teeth and head out to the kitchen to pour vodka in our bloody mary’s.

    Bodies rock!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I refuse to “diet” anymore. I just try to make healthier choices for what I eat, portion control (not sit and eat a whole bag of chips in one sitting) and treat myself only every so often…not “hey, I woke up, I deserve a cupcake!”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I eat what I like (kinda, gotta be a bit careful, who after 30 doesn’t?) and move as I will. I’m not real good at bein still. However, I have always been an hourglass, and loved it, so being a bigger hourglass has not upset me near as much as it has upset my friends who were rail thin for 35-50 years. The big wake up call is that much of it is NOT in our control and we can love ourselves just as well with that happy and healthy vibe! Life is to be lived well! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re right of course. And I do live it well. ( so much cheese, so little time)
      And I probably am genetically cursed. As far as I know I’m the tallest and thinnest woman in my family… which clearly means we have Weeble DNA.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. LOL! Weeble DNA! I think I’m the shortest woman, but I’m not the thinnest. I got a cousin who’s all long and lean — she’s an alien, a beautiful, beautiful alien! 😛

        Liked by 1 person

  6. WOW!!! You surprise me by missing such a great opportunity!!! You could easily blame Fred for 20 pounds!!! If you hadn’t married him you would be thin and beautiful instead of just being beautiful!
    Give him hell for making you fatter!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The missus and I have struggled with weight our whole lives. But, she turns 40 in November and I turn 40 next July. We’ve decided to just say “eff it”. We’ll keep trying to make healthier choices and lead more active lifestyles, but we’re going to stop beating ourselves up. We’re good folks (mostly–I mean, the dark sense of humor is never going away), who cares if we’re fat? Can’t spend the second part of our lives worried about weight ALL the time.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Botticelli didn’t paint pictures of skinny women. Marylin Monroe and Diana Dors weren’t deemed sexually alluring because they won prizes at weightwatchers.
    I am thin.
    Inside the padding.

    Liked by 1 person

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