What’s up with Band Aids, and why does the product want me to bleed to death?
Seriously, what did I ever do to them?
I cut myself the other day….
It looked something like that, except my finger was in the way and there was a lot more blood.
Okay, not that much. But enough so I had to run to the medicine cabinet to try and staunch the bleeding.
Have you ever tried to open a BandAid with one hand?
It’s harder than Richard Simmons at an all you can eat buffet not easy.
And after multiple attempts, some very colorful language and a splatter pattern on the walls and floor certain to stump CSI….
I gave up and wrapped my finger in a paper towel, cursing the Band Aid brand and it’s ridiculous packaging.
And as I was cleaning up the spilled blood? I swore I heard…. somewhere in a Highland Park, New Jersey cemetery…. Earle Dickson laughing.
(Earle Dickson invented the BandAid in 1920 for his wife who was always cutting herself in the kitchen. Clearly, he wanted her to bleed out as well.)
(Serious research there friends. I just don’t phone these posts in…..)
River's world..... 
You tell the truth here. I’ll admit that I find the generic store brand adhesive bandages [aka BandAids without a pedigree] to be easier to open whilst bleeding from a cut. 🤷♀️
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I’m thinking I’ll open them all up and store them ready to go. I can manage the separation peel back with one hand, but not the damned paper wrapper.
😡
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That’s a good plan.
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Um…..I can open a band aid with one hand (teeth woman. That’s why God invented them!!)
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I couldn’t use my teeth, I was too busy sucking the blood off my finger.
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*scratches head and wonders about that paper towel…….*
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Just wait until bandages come in those thick blister-pack cases.
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Oh! Blister packs….. I can easily slash my wrists open on those bastards!
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I had to get a band-aid yesterday
But I didn’t have to open it
The nurse did that
After giving me a shot
*OW*
Full of steroids
To help eradicate the itchy, scratchy rash
That developed as a result of an allergic reaction
To OTC pain medications
Taken for lower back pain
That I incurred on Sunday
*POP*
While moving a bag of broccoli
In the kitchen
The Moral: Kitchens are dangerous! And, per BFF, broccoli is best avoided.
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Damn. How big was the broccoli???
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I’m still fighting my insurance company for my prosthetic finger!!
Correct way to slice/dice/chop anything—curl fingers into the palm of the hand–place knife against knuckles and slice/dice/chop!!! Or instead of another pair of shoes by a food processor and USE IT!
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What’s a few scars against the thought of new shoes? (I won’t tell you I bought a pair today. No, I won’t. )
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The Richard Simmons visual is both something I didn’t know I needed to hear today and also never want to hear again. LOL
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Let’s just hope we never see it!
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Seriously – the wrapping is ridiculous! From a business perspective though, by the time you get the bloody thing open, you need a fistful of them and the cycle repeats. Band-aid is making a killing!
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It’s a vicious cycle… and I didn’t even mention how many crumpled, stuck together rejects were on the floor.
🙄
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I prefer bandaid brand bandages because they’re the only ones that stick and that also don’t cause me to break out in blisters from the adhesive. But you’re so right about the fricking packaging! It’s much worse than it used to be. I understand they’re trying to keep them sterile, but I shouldn’t need three hands to open them.
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I prefer them too. It’s all I ever buy…. I just can’t open them!
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When I cut myself at work (Usually on the sharp edge of a cardboard box… for all the thought that goes into producing the safest possible box cutter, it’s the damn cardboard itself that will slice you up) and it’s bad enough to need covered up, I go straight to the fitting room desk where I know there will be paper towels and packaging tape. Best Band Aid ever… and much easier to apply than trying to unpeel one of those copyrighted monstrosities whilst massively hemorrhaging (And that’s saying something)….
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Ah… packaging tape. That’s what I left out!
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I can only use Band-Aids, have special skin that rejects other brands. You speak the truth. In our house, it’s customary someone else does the Band-Aiding. When solitary, a paper towel and some tape are fiiiiiine.
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They should come with a built in assistant.
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