The wonderful thing about being sick at Christmas is that I got an extra week until our annual gift exchange party with friends. And since the husband had been sick the week before me, I really needed the extra time.
Because we all know the man cold is far more severe than anything women experience. When he got sick? I cooked and cleaned and took care of him. When I got sick? I cooked and cleaned and took care of myself.. funny how that works.
So we’re having our gift exchange party tonight and I just finished wrapping. And damn, if there’s anyone who can make a bigger mess putting paper and ribbons on boxes, I don’t want to meet them.
When I wrap? I spread…
And it floats from table to chair to floor to counter to stove and out into the hall. Naturally, everything (including me) is covered in glitter. We’ll be picking that crap out of our pork chops for months to come….
Most of the presents turned out well.
(Yes, those are wine bottles… on a tray… on top of my album collection… in my office. Don’t judge. There’s not a liquor cabinet built that can hold my ever expanding stash.)
And now, a word.
Or to be more exact, a lot of very colorful words every time I tried to peel that little paper backing to reveal the sticky part of a bow.
May I just say… WTF?
It’s like my Band Aid nightmare all over again…. except there’s no blood, and I’m not doing it one handed. Okay, it’s nothing like the Band Aids… but it’s still annoying as hell and the people that produce those things without leaving a pull tab or a flipped corner to grab onto need to suffer some serious consequences.
Drawn and quartered? Maybe…
Flayed alive? Perhaps…
Locked in an elevator with a non stop loop of Justin Bieber’s greatest hits blasting through the speakers? Now we’re talking!
River's world..... 
Your package wrapping prowess is a step above!
Must be the mess . . . or the wine . . . or both! 😀
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Thanks… I try. That batch took me almost 3 hours!
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That’s why I married … I really sucked at buying and wrapping Christmas presents. And stores don’t gift wrap anymore …
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Some do, but they charge a fortune per gift!
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Those are some neatly wrapped gift…Who said your only talent is extremely descriptive writing?! 😆
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We have only tapped the surface of my many useless talents… stay tuned!
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You know that glitter that you will be picking out of your pork chops??? Well, NOBODY! and I mean NOBODY! wants that in the presents they get or even cards! UGH!!! Oh you and your gift will be remembered each time they find some glitter where it doesn’t belong and they will spend a year thinking of a way to get revenge on you!!
Happy New Year to you and Fred—the poor suffering picked on husband!
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Glitter. The gift that keeps on giving….
Perfect!
🤣
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Great post 😃
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Thank you!
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No problem 😁 check out my blog when you get the chance 🙂
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I had to wrap a few presents because Amazon didn’t offer gift wrapping everything. My effort was…pathetic, to say the least. We decided to keep the bags Amazon used so we’d have something for next year.
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I love Amazon, but not their wrapping!
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I’ll put up with it if I don’t have to do it myself.
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Just tape the bows, darlin. Just tape the bows.
There’s enough tough stuff to deal with in life, like dreaded man colds, you deserve to tape the bows.
If I lived in Maine (a girl can dream) I’d do your wrapping for you. I live to wrap! 😀
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When it comes to tape I don’t mess around. To heck with that sissy little Scotch stuff, I use the clear packing tape…. my gifts are not only pretty, but a challenge to open as well!
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Haha! I tape daughter #2’s packages extra just because she hates it 😉
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