Tag Archives: wine

When you have way too much time on your hands…

 

I saw an article the other day about all the amazing things people are doing with the spare time the pandemic shutdowns are providing them.

Some were worth while.

Others?

You decide.

 

 

Did Rufus McToofus need his very own adirondack chair to celebrate accordingly?

Probably not.

 

 

 

 

That’s so special it hurts.

 

 

Just…. wow.

What do you suppose those ducks are posting on social media? Can someone please investigate and report back. I’d hate for those ducks to have a more interesting blog than mine.

 

 

Finally….

A worthy use of time.

Pandemic humor.

 

Because it’s not over yet and laughter is still the only medicine.

 

 

Okay ladies, who’s with me?

 

 

I hope this was helpful.

Personally, I’ve never been peed on…. but you can never be too careful.

 

 

Fess up.

Which one of you morons did this and cursed us all?

 

 

Corona like a Viking!

Sword optional.

 

 

So take one for the team.

If I have to wear a bra in public, it’s the least you can do.

Things that make me say WTH?

 

Stupid products….

Keeping the American economy strong for decades.

 

IMG_2956

The Crunch Cup. So you can drink your morning cereal…

 

IMG_2955

 

Most important meal of the day? Maybe.

But you should know my husband’s cardiologist (the top rated man at the largest and best hospital in our state) said breakfast cereal is a top contributor to obesity and diabetes in this country. He won’t even allow it in his house.

So no cereal sippy cups for us.

 

IMG_2960

 

Toaster bags.

 

IMG_2959

 

Now I don’t know about you, but the day I’m too lazy to butter my bread?

I’ll just hang it up for good and take to my bed with a case of Patron.

 

IMG_2961

 

No, this is not an iPhone ball delivery system for playing catch with Fido.

 

IMG_2961 (2)

Pooch Selfies.

Kill me now.

 

IMG_2964

 

Okay…. I can almost see the attraction here.

 

IMG_2958

 

And while this may look a little odd?

 

IMG_2957

 

The Guzzle Buddy has my name written all over it.

But this?

 

IMG_2962

 

This is a bridge too far.

 

IMG_2963 (2)

 

No.

Just… no.

 

IMG_2963

 

I don’t know about you?

But a hydrated ass is the least of my worries right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tail end of the Yorktown driving tour, some fluffy butts, an elusive Christmas gift…. and late night food.

 

The driving tour of the Yorktown, Virginia battlefield was a strange one and meandered all over the place.

 

IMG_1736

 

Through the woods.

 

IMG_1730

 

And past open fields with miles of split rail fencing.

Seriously, it went on forever.

 

 

 

There were creeks and swamps.

 

IMG_1728

 

And every now and then, a sign.

 

IMG_1735

 

We saw plenty of fluffy white butts.

 

IMG_1714

 

And they roamed at will.

 

IMG_1712

 

We even made friends with a few.

 

IMG_1705

 

This little beauty had no fear and sidled right up next to my window.

 

IMG_1706

 

Up our way that would be dangerous.

But this was protected land and they knew it.

 

IMG_1738

 

Near the end of the tour we saw something a bit odd.

 

IMG_1720

 

A buck with a funky horn.

 

IMG_1725

 

And while I can’t say I’ve ever had to tote a rack around  (on my head anyway)  this did look a little strange.

 

IMG_1724

 

 

 

 

So this was December 23rd and the husband had spent the last 48 hours trying to talk me into driving down to North Carolina for Christmas Day. When we’re on a trip for the holidays? We usually let it pass without much fanfare. No exchange of gifts, maybe just a special meal. But since our daughter of the heart came to visit with us those few days… he was bound and determined we would celebrate with her this time.

While I normally would have agreed, she had a slew of family members staying the night in a one bathroom house and I didn’t want to stress her anymore than necessary. We checked a few hotels in the area but all of them were full. Husband wanted to go for the day…. but it was a 4+ hour ride down and a 4+ hour ride back. Almost 9 hours on the road is not my idea of a fun Christmas… but he wore me down. Which meant we had to spend the rest of that day (and night) shopping for gifts because I wouldn’t go empty handed.

And leave it to me to decide on the one gift that was utterly unfindable on the 23rd of December. And believe me we tried.

Yup.

I had to give her this.

 

81XUwhlb5qL__AC_SL1500_

 

Because she loves wine…. but can no longer drink it because it gives her headaches.

I was going to give her the gift of wine back! Or die trying.

Which we nearly did.

We tried every single freakin’ store for 150 miles. Large malls and small gift shops. Specialty stores and wine outlets. Big chains and obscure holes in the hall. We walked, we searched, we cursed.  (Okay, maybe that was just me.)  We shopped until we almost dropped. Everyone had heard of it… very few carried it. And if they did carry it? They were sold out by the time we got there.

Do you know how aggravating it is to look for something for 7 hours straight and then be told by a laughing salesclerk, “Oh, we just sold the last one 10 minutes ago. You should have been quicker.”  That woman is lucky she still has her tongue…. because if I could have reached the butcher knife on the other side of the counter? She’d be laughing with a bloody stump right now.

And if that isn’t bad enough?

I didn’t find the perfect gift, but I did find this:

 

IMG_1744

 

No.

No

Noooo!

This is wrong on so many levels … I can’t even. What twisted soul thought, “How can I take a perfectly good candy and ruin it beyond all measure? I know… I’ll add Kale!”

All over the world children are weeping. I hope you’re satisfied Archie.

At 9:30 that night the husband was screaming Uncle…. and grumbling about food. We were both too exhausted to care at that point and stopped at the first place on the way back to the resort. An Outback Steakhouse.

I’m not a lover of chain restaurants and hadn’t been to one of these in 20 years.

 

IMG_1739

 

But $5 Boozy Cherry Limeades sounded pretty good….

And for that price? I had 3.

 

IMG_1740

 

Their Blue Cheese Wedge salad left a lot to be desired…. and the husband’s French Onion soup was only fair.

 

IMG_1741

 

But his filet was blood rare and he made short work of it.

 

IMG_1742

 

My grilled filet and shrimp skewer combo was filling…. and I’ll leave it at that.

There’s a reason we’re not chain restaurant fans, and if we don’t go back for another 20 years?

I’m okay with that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hurricane humor….

 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve experienced many terrible storms over the years. When we lived down south we had trees come through the windows and parts of our roof ripped off. The destruction is real and nothing to be taken lightly…..

That being said, we also had a sense of humor.

 

hD5301A3F

 

We had to.

And while my heart breaks for the people of the Bahamas suffering the devastation of Dorian, I’m twisted enough to laugh along with my friends in Florida who were spared the worst of her.

Their FB page had this the other day…

 

wine

 

A very useful thing when you’re living on canned goods and snacks because there’s no electricity.

They also posted this pic of their local grocery store.

 

IMG_5990

 

Now really…  how bad does your bread have to be to be the only brand left on the shelf during a hurricane?

And finally, this news blurb I saw on my phone.

Phil? I have two words for you –

Spell check.

 

dorian

Woodchuck aerobics.

 

I think the last time I did aerobics was 1988.

If I tried it today?

 

 

So imagine my surprise when one of the young woodchucks who’s taken up residence started working out on our back deck.

 

IMG_0676

 

Granted the work out started slowly….

 

IMG_0674

 

And didn’t seem to be too high impact.

But who am I to judge?

My regular workout routine goes like this:

 

aerobics

 

Woodchuck aerobics are a little different.

 

IMG_0680

 

There was a warm up stretch…

 

IMG_0681

 

A few hip twists…

 

IMG_0683

 

Some leg lifts….

 

IMG_0678

 

And a bit of planking.

 

planking-or-dead_o_1704169

 

Then the pole work started.

 

IMG_0685

 

It was a little clumsy at first.

 

IMG_0689

 

But he got the hang of it pretty quickly.

 

IMG_0688

 

Heck, a little music and he could have been my girl friend on the parking meter a while back.

 

c9f8470ff28996ed8e6fd430b30959c2

 

Oh, alright.

The woodchuck wasn’t really doing aerobics…

I just wanted to share more cute photos.

But then again, I’m not really the world’s best cheerleader when it comes to exercise either.

 

IMG_4970

 

Things I like today…. chapter 3.

 

1.  Peonies!

 

IMG_5195

 

Great big colorful, heavily scented blooms.

 

IMG_5197

 

If you’ve never smelled one?

I’m sorry.

 

IMG_5200

 

They rival roses and lilacs for heavenly natural scent….

And I fill our house with them while I can.

 

IMG_E5203

 

The husband’s little nephew used to call them Pee On Me’s.

 

 

But either way?

They’re glorious.

I like.

 

2.  The combination of wine and chocolate?

Always a winner.

 

wine and choc

 

But actual wine flavored chocolate?

 

IMG_5207

 

Score!

Get yourself some immediately…. you won’t be sorry.

 

 

I like.

 

3.  A bean bag store that stacks their products like an ice cream cone?

 

IMG_E5286

 

I like.

 

4.  Two for one jewelry.

 

IMG_E5173

 

Buy a bracelet get a necklace…

 

IMG_E5174

 

And they both look good.

 

038eb9ee08319453e219f9ec37eea07d--sand-dollars-crazy-funny

 

It’s true, I can.

Don’t hate me.

I like.

 

5.  A fox with attitude.

 

IMG_1009

 

This one stuck his tongue out at me.

Cheeky little bugger!

 

CLHuryvWUAA7VMh

 

I like.