Tag Archives: gifts

I’m going out on a limb here….

.

I’ve been meaning to share this with you for a while now… ever since Swinged Cat  asked me about it in the comments of this blog. 

“It” being strange and/or supernatural events. If that’s not your thing, no problem….  feel free to skip the next few posts.  It wasn’t my thing either. Until it happened to me. Not so easy to ignore then.

As most of you know I lost my father when I was 14.  I was an only child of older parents and a total daddy’s girl.

.

Dad and me, baby

.

His loss shook my world to it’s core. Heck, I’m 57 years old, and to be honest I still haven’t gotten over it.  Anyway…. back in 2013 my best friend gave me a very odd Christmas gift.  “An Evening with Spirits” which was an hour long private session with a psychic. Now before you roll your eyes (like I did) it should be noted this was her daughter’s old college friend and not some loon on the street corner. She’s traveled world wide, studied numerous religions and spiritual disciplines, worked with the most respected people in the field ( you’re eye rolling again, I know…  because I did it as well). But I assure you, my girlfriend is the most down to earth, no nonsense, grounded New Englander you’re apt to meet so if she said this woman was the real deal and forked out a major amount of money for a reading? I had to go along.

The following is copied from my old blog site, and while I normally don’t do that type of thing…. it was written right after the experience and was a harbinger of things to come. Read on if you’re interested.

A Twilight Zone moment….. For Friends Only

Added: Saturday, January 26th 2013 at 6:38am by rivergirl

Friends only because I really don’t need a larger crowd of people thinking I’m crazy.

As you know, I’m using my unique Christmas present this weekend and will be visiting the psychic I posted about earlier. Me…. seeing a psychic. And they say pigs don’t fly.

So… yesterday I’m sitting on the couch reading an interesting book about Tibet. It was full of legend and lore and spirits and demons…..which got me thinking about my upcoming reading. Basically I was wondering if it would be amazing or a total waste of time.  Contact with my late father would be a dream, but we all know how rarely those come true. Still musing, I put the book down and looked up at our mantle where an antique English clock of my father’s sits.

.

.

It’s a pretty little thing that my mother gave us 29 years ago when my husband and I moved into our first home.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. Hasn’t for the entire 29 years we’ve owned it and since it has a rather special pedigree….

.

.

I never wanted to take it to just any clock maker to be fixed. Call me lazy, call me cheap… but there you have it…. it doesn’t work.

Until yesterday when I was sitting on the couch thinking about my father and the damn thing started ticking.

I’m not kidding…. I almost had a heart attack.

My jaw dropped, and I think I was shaking.

I jumped up to make sure I wasn’t hearing things and I swear by all that’s holy the stupid thing was working.  After more than 29 years.

WTH!

Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Crazy lady hearing things? I’d be the first to say so if it hadn’t happened to me. The clock ticked for almost half an hour, and naturally stopped right before my husband got home from work.

Other people talk about experiencing weird things like this and I scoff. But I’m here to tell you when it happens to you? All bets are off.

.

Random

.

Remember when I posted about giving the husband some Red Sox memorabilia for his birthday?

.

.

Here’s Lord Dudley Mountcatten sitting above the mint condition 1968 pennant. It arrived in a long padded box, wrapped in layers of wax paper, tissue paper and bubble wrap. It was cherry! Until Dudley pounced on it, ripping it in two places and punching a giant tooth hole in the tip. Sigh.

.

.

Here he is eyeing the kinetic sculpture when my husband gave it an inaugural twirl.

Needless to say I put that out of reach shortly after.

.

.

Cats, I love them… but it doesn’t mean they don’t drive me crazy.

.

.

I got this announcement from WordPress the other day. And while I’m flattered they’re keeping track of my posts, I had to wonder at the random number. Is 1337 something to celebrate?

.

.

I ordered this customized coffee mug for a friend and can’t wait to give it to her. ( our names are underneath the chairs but have been removed to protect the not so innocent ) That’s me on the left with the margarita and the figure I haven’t seen for 20 or so years. Hair, drinks, skin tone and shirt are customizable but they didn’t have an overweight and menopausal option, go figure.

.

.

But I admit, it does describe our relationship perfectly.

.

In other news…. I’m scheduled to receive my first Covid vaccine this morning. Maine has done a remarkable job with the roll out and I’m looking forward to being on the road to fully protected as well as doing my part to stop the spread of this horrible life altering virus.

.

The (not so) free pool table finally sees some use.

.

So the free pool table… the one that has cost us approximately $14,000 ( and counting ) in storage barn to man cave renovations… actually saw some action last weekend.

.

.

Two of the husband’s coworkers came by for the afternoon (no worries, all 3 men are fully vaccinated) for Cajun gumbo, beer and pool. I don’t play, so I know my other half was happy. And me? I was happy because I received another bar christening gift.

.

.

I’d never even heard of this whiskey but it turned out to have a pleasing toasted undertone.

.

.

After two games of pool, it was determined the table needed to go from horizontal placement to vertical to allow more shooting space.

.

.

Which then required multiple leveling maneuvers. Turns out the barn floor is not at all level. Shocking, I know.

.

.

Play continued into the night, as did the whiskey drinking and strange reflections from the overhead lighting.

A good time was had by all… and let me tell you, it was nice to host even two people after a year of no socializing with friends.

😊

.

And then there was a television.

.

Next up in the Barn Mahal remodel was the addition of a 50 inch flat screen on a swiveling wall mount .

.

.

Husband laid out all the pieces and parts….

.

.

While I laid out snacks and a beef stew with crusty French bread I’d cooked to bribe a friend for installation assistance.

.

.

The thoughtful friend even brought me a bar christening gift. I love those.

.

.

Installation started well… and then as is wont to happen whenever we work in the man cave… it went straight downhill.

.

.

Nothing lined up as it should, so a little force majeure was needed.

.

.

When they thought it was mounted properly, they carried the television over…

.

.

Only to realize the mount was upside down.

Oops.

.

.

When that error was corrected?

.

.

They dropped two weird sized screws (not sold on planet Earth) which promptly rolled into the floor cracks.

.

.

After I took pity and found them both…. mounting continued. Leveling the tv was easier said than done.

.

.

And though the bracket was perfectly centered between the booze shelves on the left and the WWII propaganda posters on the right…. they didn’t take the swiveling arm into account, so when it’s flush against the wall as it needs to be to allow access to the bar?

.

.

It’s too far to the left… which will drive me crazy for years to come because the husband says he’s not moving it.

.

.

Oh, well. It’s mounted and seems to be secure.

.

.

Now I need to schedule an appointment for Direct TV to come install another what do you mean the barn is too far from the house to run off the same satellite dish. I was really hoping that wouldn’t be necessary but they assure me it is.

Ka Ching!

.

Products no one needs.

.

A list of gifts to give your friends. If you don’t ever want them to speak to you again that is….

.

.

Repeat after me, ” I will not buy River a dog’s ass pillow for her birthday or Christmas. Not now. Not ever. ”

.

.

Seriously? Like I don’t have enough guilt reaching for those two extra slices of cheese as it is.

.

.

Why.

Why in the world would anyone want to walk around in a baguette? I’ve been to France and had them fresh from the boulangerie. They are made to sop up sauce, be covered in jam or smothered in cheese… not your nasty foot funk.

That’s a hard no from me.

.

Things I will not be giving my husband for Valentines Day this year.

.

Have you ever looked at ads for products and thought, that can’t be real?

.

.

Jerky flower bouquets for the special man in your life?

No way.

.

.

Way.

And they’re not exactly giving them away either.

.

.

The Ball Hammock.

Yes, my Facebook algorithm is back to its old tricks just in time for the holiday. Will I be buying my husband a rocket to put in his pants?

No.

.

.

I will not be asking him to release the Kraken either.

Well, not that one anyway.

And finally the last gift I won’t be buying him…

.

.

Ball therapy.

Just…. no.

.

25th is silver, so 37th must be …. platypus?

.

The husband and I recently celebrated 37 blissful (read – we haven’t killed each other yet) years of marriage.

.

.

And because he’s a sweetie, a bouquet of flowers was delivered.

.

.

And to my most divine pleasure, it contained colors other than green.

.

.

Required cheesy old photograph of the happy couple.

.

.

And yes, along with the lovely flowers was a platypus.

.

.

Because after 37 years? He gets me.

💕

.

What fresh Christmas Hell is this…?

.

Since the husband and I usually travel for Christmas, I haven’t done decorations for years. Wreaths in the windows, a few snowflake lights on the barn and a Charlie Brown tree on the table was as much enthusiasm as I could muster this season.

.

.

And when you’ve been married as long as we have (37 years in a few weeks) presents aren’t a big deal either. We’re lucky enough to buy what we want, when we want (and he still doesn’t know my taste in jewelry) so we took a pass on that as well.

There is however one gift that keeps on giving.

.

IMG_3717

.

Yes, after a prolonged absence in which I continually prayed for her earthly demise…

.

IMG_3722

.

She was back on Christmas Eve. Looking for a way into the house.

.

IMG_3721

.

And taunting me…

.

IMG_3723

.

The little bitch.

.

IMG_3724

.

So if she comes down the chimney wearing a Santa hat today? I won’t be held responsible.

.

.

No. It most definitely is not…

.

Last minute Christmas gifts for the weirdos on your list.

.

For those friends who like to play in the dirt?

.

.

Pencils. They’re not just for chewing anymore…

.

.

I thought this next one was cute.

.

.

But realized I might be attacked by that hungry red squirrel bitch and had to pass.

.

.

Yoga dice?

How am I supposed to play craps if a winning roll is downward facing dog.

.

.

I see the appeal here.

.

.

We’re building a barn bar and the husband has been known to tick me off.

Hmmm..

.

.

Because an internal kind message will take the sting out of an F Bomb gift.

.

.

And finally there’s jewelry.

.

.

Because no woman can resist a man who gives her turd themed bling.

.