But we’re the ones who were
cursed by the Lord of Crap lucky enough to receive a poop drone for Christmas.
I can see you seething….. green with envy.
(Or is it brown in this case?)
Because who hasn’t dreamed of holding a levitating pile of poop in the palm of their hand?
(Okay everyone, including me. But admit it… you’re wondering how
utterly horrible truly wonderful it could be.)
heave it in the trash get started, I searched for directions.
There weren’t many… I mean heck, how complicated can poop be?
I admit it was a little disconcerting to have a pile of poop watch me blog.
Especially when it started glowing red.
(Red poop is usually not a good thing…. or so I’ve been told.)
After a short charge, it was ready for a test flight.
And Holy Hell!
That poop can really go.
I was expecting a quiet little puff of air and some marginal movement….
But that little sucker really takes flight.
And it’s not exactly quiet either…
Sadly… you can’t control it. The poop has a mind of it’s own.
Which is too bad, because the possible household applications of flying poop are limitless.
Annoying door to door salesmen? Send the drone to answer that incessant knocking.
Unexpected mother in law visit? Program the drone to buzz behind her ear and get twisted in her blue hair as she tells you the proper way to cook her son’s meals.
Neighbor’s dog keeps defecating in your flower bed? When the flying poop rises up behind him he’ll have a heart attack. Problem solved.
Get yours today while supplies last.
Tell ’em River sent you.