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He did it!

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We’ve talked about it for years.

He’s come close a few times but was never able to pull the trigger.

I was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen.

But today?

He actually did it.

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My husband finally sent in his retirement papers!

While most people dream of this day, my other half has been strangely dreading it. The man has worked since he was 12 years old and he’s going to have a hard time adjusting.

To be honest, he’s not handling the aging process well. Instead of looking forward to relaxing… he feels old and unproductive. Put out to pasture, next step death.

It’s been a constant struggle for me to lighten the mood and paint a rosy picture of our lives post employment. This shouldn’t be difficult, we’re debt free and financially secure….

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Well, that could be an issue…. but my workaholic spouse needs the challenge and feeling of accomplishment work provides, and keeping him upbeat is becoming a bit of a chore.

Our original plan was retirement in 2020 and then … sayonara baby, we were going to travel! But the global plague had other ideas and it’s kicked his health paranoia into full gear, so that’s out for now.

I have a honey do list that could keep him busy until the next millennia, but he doesn’t seem interested.

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That could work. But come on, how much time can you actually spend peeing?

The husband doesn’t fish, or carve duck decoys. He isn’t one for sitting still long enough to read a good book or enjoy a sunset from a rocking chair.

I know it sounds silly, but I swear he’s depressed at the very thought of retirement.

Any advice you can offer would be appreciated. My Suzy Sunshine routine is starting to wear a little thin.

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47 thoughts on “He did it!”

  1. Okay, first of all I’m kinda jealous at the retirement thing. Because you’ve both worked hard enough to be debt free and financially secure. He’s a Marine remember? They (almost all military I know) dread retirement, as you said, he might think of retirement as the next step to death. But, no one can make it seem better unless he opens his mind to the possibilities of post retirement activities/hobbies. This could be tough for both of you for a bit but I think you can help him through this transition period.

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    1. All his friends envy him leaving. The office is overworked and understaffed with everyone doing the jobs of 3 or 4 people. The redundant government paperwork, always changing regulations and a new computer system have driven a lot of them to retirement already.
      I totally blame Covid. The husband was itching to retire and travel before that.
      😡

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  2. Suggest writing, poetry of prose doesn’t matter. Set up his computer for word processing, and let him have at it. If he wonders what he would write about, suggest your wedding day, and all the feelings he experienced that day. Tell him to change the names so he can fix the little things that went wrong, or enhance the things that went right.
    But, beware.
    My father-in-law had a bit of a problem with retirement, but he adjusted quite well until the day he had his driver’s license taken away for being a danger on the road. The safer he tried to drive, the more of a menace he became to the regular flow of traffic.
    Even though totally healthy, he died the next day of a broken heart. He felt he was nothing without his license.

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    1. My husband is not a writer… at all. If he ever tried that he’d just call me in every ten minutes like he does now when writing reports for work. That’s very sad about your FIL, though I can see my other half going the same way. He loves to be on the road…

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  4. Let him put those eagle lessons you got him to good use!! Of course, you realize he will have plenty of time to go antique hunting and filling up the new barn with worthless things! Get your Margaritas lined up!!!
    Get his to do list ready–make up chores–whatever–keep him busy if you don’t want him to drive you crazier!!

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    1. I was hoping the falconry would spark an interest, but while he enjoyed it, he never wanted to revisit the experience. A little antique shopping can be fun, endless margaritas? Even more fun.

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  5. One of the things I was going to do when I retired at the end of 2019 was to start visiting the gazillion little museums all around New England. Then they closed. The guy I was going to go with still isn’t comfortable.

    But I do have hobbies and I’ve been building out my workshop to make woodworking easier, safer and more enjoyable. Maybe you need another outbuilding. Get him a telescope for Christmas and let him build an observatory. If I had room, I’d do that. Or, have him build you a she-shed. Then you can escape and not worry.

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    1. I’ve gotten him out on a few day trips in the past month…. and now that’s he had the third booster shot, maybe that will happen more often. As for the telescope, I bought him one ten years ago and he turned it into a clothes hanger. He just remodeled the barn to a man cave … and read my lips, No More Building! Even for a desperately needed she shed.
      😉

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  6. I was married to a man who never wanted to retire. Then I became a widow, and retired a few years later. That is how I handled it. Follow me for all the best relationship advice 😉.

    Deb

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  7. I would suggest volunteering a few days a week. There are loads of things a man can do in the volunteer world. Food bank delivery, that animal place where you took your pumpkins, the Red Cross… believe me you are going to want him out of the house a few days a week for your sanity’s sake.

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  8. I like the volunteering idea. Depending on his tolerance of kids, he could do a lot with the school system. They are so short-handed these days. When my uncle retired, he got a commercial drivers license so the local kids could go on a field trip to a neighboring state that required the license. He did all sorts of great volunteer work – Salvation Army after a hurricane, coast guard auxiliary, volunteer fire chief. He was Ex-military also. He was a community pillar.

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  11. Well from what you’ve shared here: He is a DOER. He needs a task and probably more than your honey-do-list. Maybe a handyman for neighbors? I could always use one myself.

    With that being said: congratulations to him. It is well deserved and I hope he finds something that makes him want to wake up every day aside from you and the cat. And the beer keg. You know what I mean.

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  12. You have so many house projects (presumably outside your honey do list) that I envision him busy well into his 90s. Aside from that, how ’bout more pets – different kinds, perhaps? Training a new puppy seems like a fulltime job. Then there’s getting Lord Dudley to accept the puppy. Your husband will be so busy he won’t have time to remember that he’s retired.

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  13. My dad retired then went back after a few years from boredom. I can understand your hubs reluctance to retire. Hope you get to travel soon!

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  14. Volunteering is a definite. But something he has a passion for. As an ex-serviceman there are people who need help because their mateship dissipates when they leave the forces. I think that’s where his passion could be. He can throw as much time into that as he does his work, and it will be meaningful to him. It could also include travel – so things like group motorcycle rides and helping after disaster events so that they’re all working together.

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    1. He belongs to a few Veteran groups but doesn’t spend much time with them anymore. Unfortunately their politics differ greatly from my husband’s and that causes a lot of stress.

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  17. Pingback: The week gone by — Nov. 14 – A Silly Place

  18. We live similar lives. My husband is talking about retiring, too. It’s always next year. I don’t know why it’s so difficult for some people to just be no one and do nothing! I seem to have made a career of it. 🤔

    [Finally catching up with you this week.]

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  19. Some great ideas…I retired 11 yrs ago with no plan until my older son moved in and I decided to take up photography and started traveling! I understand he is reluctant to travel and I don’t want to get into your preference of vaccination vs not…your business. I got vaccinated so I could travel again. Still risks but I have been on my current road trip since August 18. Traveled across the northern USA, into Alaska (Montana and Alaska on the top 10 worst states for people willing to vaccinate!), meant to be in Alaska in various places for about a month total…was in Ketchikan for over a month due to ferry booking issues…in Canada now…was supposed to be back in WA yesterday…due to multiple tire/car issues that delayed my getting out I am now here for potentially another 3 weeks or more due to the flooding/mudslides south of me! It’s USA/Canada travel…it’s doable if you take precautions. Everyone is good about masks/sanitizer/distancing…start with short trips in various areas of ME/VT/NH/MA where Covid numbers look good…take the precautions…live your life without fear!
    Then again…he seems an intelligent person with a ton of experience to share…maybe a local education program would embrace him if he felt comfortable with teaching a class??
    Tell him not to live life in fear! As a Marine, he has seen parts of life that none of us will ever experience…he needs to see that side of himself again.
    Good luck!!

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    1. We’re both fully vaccinated, and the husband just got his booster …. But with underlying health issues he just doesn’t feel comfortable traveling yet, not long distances anywhere. We may plan a short getaway for Xmas.
      As for teaching, he actually did that in the Corps. Problem is … my other half never stopped talking, and lessons turned into hour long stories. Students enjoyed it, powers that be didn’t.
      🤣

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