Gifts no one wants.

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If you’re looking for that perfect Christmas gift? For God’s sake, don’t look here.

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A crocheted octopus hat? While I admit the side view is impressive, I can’t think of a single friend who would actually wear it.

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Men? I’m going to speak for all women when I say we don’t need you to amplify your junk. You’re entirely too proud of it already.

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Be still my heart.

An affection erection?

And they say romance is dead.

🤣

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26 thoughts on “Gifts no one wants.”

  1. A crocheted octopus hat? While I admit the side view is impressive, I can’t think of a single friend who would actually wear it. <—and don't forget your conceal/carry harness. Cause that goes with everything.

    Like

  2. Geez, at least George Michael had some class and just stuffed a shuttlecock down his pants when performing with Wham…

    I had a bunch of crocheters who used to follow me (As evidenced by all the crochet critters I was gifted). That octopus hat is very creative, but doesn’t surprise me in the least. There are some freaky ladies with big needles out there…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Men have a right to be proud of what they have, whatever it is they have. But surely you have noticed that men are seldom proud enough to show what they have to other men. The whole bullshit about no sex before marriage is based on not allowing women to compare what their husband has to what prior experiences may have shown women that it is possible to have. Or to know the skill level of said appendage.
    As for your xmas/birthday suggestions, the kraken hat is the best of the bunch. Not saying much, is it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You make a good point. Comparison could be a deal breaker. But still, the plethora of dick pics is disturbing.
      Amusing side note… spell check kept changing dick to duck.
      🤣

      Like

      1. Poor Dick Nixon. (Oops, my Spelchek accepted dick. I wanted it to read Duck Nixon, but got scammed.)
        I wrote a story once about a woman collecting dick pics for a coffee table book (erect and not side-by-side.) A female editor loved the idea, but her male boss vetoed it outright. I guess I was ahead of the times. Still am, I bet.

        Liked by 1 person

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