Fuzz

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Stiff was delightfully bizarre. Gulp was disgusting but fascinating. I admit Spook was a tad disappointing. But now? There’s Fuzz.

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The new Mary Roach book that deals with human animal interaction.

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This book is fun and filled with quirky tidbits I’m going to enjoy sharing. Chapter one finds the author in Canada taking classes with WHART.

WHART. Wildlife-Human Attack Response Training taught by the British Columbia Conservation Officer Service.

First up? Examining mannequins that represent people who were killed/mauled by bear/cougar and trying to determine who did what.

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Ya gotta love Canada.

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Now I’ll never be able to eat a plum without thinking of this. Thanks Mary.

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Tampons. Useful any time of the month apparently.

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Bear print long johns? Geesh. That guy was just asking for it.

There was a large section on bears and bear attacks, which are actually quite rare… so in the interest of public service, I’ll share WHART’s best advice should you ever encounter one in the wild.

If a bear is threat displaying (pawing the ground, huffing) in an effort to intimidate you, it’s a bluff and you should back away slowly while speaking calmly to the animal. Maybe something like, “No worries Mr. Grizzly, this little ole blogger is going to sashay back to her car now and post about her near death experience. Follow my site for an awesome close up of those impressive teeth. Kudos to your dentist by the way, they really are pearly white.”

On the other hand, if the bear is in full predatory attack mode…never run. Open your jacket to look larger, yell, scream, throw rocks, stomp. If the bear starts to charge with his ears flat, you’re the one who needs to look scary. If this happens to me first thing in the morning when I wake up… pre hairdo and makeup? No problem. The bear doesn’t stand a chance.

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18 thoughts on “Fuzz”

  1. I was on a grand jury here in Virginia and one of the cases was a man who’d attacked another with a box knife. Strips of scalp were taken out. It was pretty disturbing… We voted to indict, BTW.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. As far as I know, grand juries are not used in Canada. If a prosecutor thinks they can make a case, or at least convince a jury or judge, they go for it. To me grand juries are a waste of time, money, and effort. You still need a trial anywsy, why have two? (And people still get wrongly convicted. That says something right there!)

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      2. It’s interesting that, in a great country like Canada, the criminal justice system looks so much like an arm-wrestling match, while the low life, greasy, thieving bastards to the south at least try to make it look like justice.
        Look up. The words “Due Process” come from the fifth amendment to the U.S. Constitution. In context, the sentence says,” No one shall be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law”. Lynchings are what you get when you don’t follow the process. Not all cases go to the grand jury. Some are so glaringly obvious it’s not really necessary and the prosecutor can opt for a preliminary hearing.
        In cases where the matter isn’t as clear-cut, the Grand Jury comes into play. There are no witnesses or testimony, unless the grand jury issues a subpoena. The prosecutor brings his or her case and presents it to the grand jury, which hears it and decides, based on the strength and admissibility of the evidence, whether or not to indict.
        Counterintuitive as it seems, this actually saves time, money and effort, as well as the good names of people who might well be dragged up in front of the judge for things they didn’t do. People are wrongly convicted, far too often. Other people walk free when they shouldn’t, also far too often. So what does this say? Does it say that, in spite of all our best efforts, sometimes, Justice is still poorly served, if at all? Yep, sure does. What it doesn’t say is that it’s a waste of time.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. No justice system works perfectly, because there are no perfect people to carry out the ptocess. At any point in most cases justice is for sale. A price can almost always be agreed uopn.

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  2. My one and only encounter with a bear, in Canada of course, was in Jasper National Park. A bear nicknamed Yogi was terrorizing campsites looking for improperly stored food. He tore through tents, and even camper trailersor RVs as if they were nylon tents. One morning on my way back from the showers there was a group of people standing around nervously, including my then wife. Yogi was in our campsite, though not yet at OUR tent. I looked at him, and just walked calmly past all the people, heading straight towards our tent. For the first and only time in my life I started to whistle. Where the confidence came from I have no idea, I just hid all my fear and kept walking towards him. He looked at me, listened to the whistle, and turned and walked away. No one could believe what I did, including me. I think I CHANNELED my indigenous ancestors that day, I just did all this without thinking. Everyone told me how crazy I was, as they thanked me for saving their stuff, including my ex. All I did was let the bear know he should be more scared of me than I was of him. He was finally captured a few days later, marked, and released over 1000 kms away. He had attacked other campsites after ours, but he never came back to ours. He never attacked a person, just places where food was hidden. And this was why we had never allowed food in our tent. Camping in bear territory without the food stored up a tree made no sense. Yet so many people kept food in their tents and RVs. I hope they learned something that day.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. How do we stop that from happening? I’m all for leaving them alone too. But humans can’t seem to do that. Some azzhat 3 or 4 thousand years ago suggested man should have dominion over all the beasts of the fields, and humans are more than happy to do just that.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Annother hundred years, if we last that long, without reverting to wandering tribes of nuclear war survivors or victims of climate change, and there will be little room for wildlife. Expansion just keeps on growing, and wildlife preserves keep on shrinking!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Yeah thanks Mary….I’ll never buy plums again. Wow, this book seems to be just as interesting as the first. But animal attacks aren’t a subject I’d like to read about. Unless it’s a fat cat trying to gnaw at your toes because you woke up late to feed its fat ass. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

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