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You’ll like this one.
You get to tell me what to do…
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Advice. Everyone seems to have it, but no one seems to want it.
My late father always used to tell me not to take any wooden nickels, which seems ridiculous these days… but I suppose you could substitute ‘cryptocurrency’ for ‘nickel’ and call it good.
While I make a habit of never offering unsolicited advice, being happily married for 38 years people often ask for our secret and want advice on staying together.
Love, respect, and understanding. All important, but I usually default back to compromise and choosing carefully. Chemical attraction and lust fade, trust me on this. If you don’t have anything deeper to hold you together you won’t be searching for the traditional 40th anniversary gift. ( Ruby! Let’s hear it for hanging in there.)
I constantly hear people say you have to have things in common with your spouse to cement a relationship, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth for us… we’re very different people. But we find common ground in the type of life we want to lead and where we want to live it. That trumps his preference for television over my love of reading any day, even if it means a John Wayne marathon now and then.
My husband and I met and were married 6 days later. Guess I chose correctly. ❣️
Your turn. Give me some advice…
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Sometimes you just ‘know’. Like with my Nick.
Never go to bed mad.
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Exactly. If you have to ask yourself if he’s the right guy? He isn’t.
Never letting the sun set on your anger is good advice. Can’t say I always follow it though.
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Divorce is not an option.
Murder, however ….
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Haha! I love that Rusty!
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A 180 from mine, but no less true.
👍
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Never stab anyone in the back, look them in they eye, NO FEAR!
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I think Washington could benefit from that advice.
😉
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Agreed
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Don’t be afraid to be e yourself and don’t worry what everyone else thinks.
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Good advice!
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My advice: write a blog post to share why you married so soon after meeting.
Or, share a link if said post is already posted.
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There’s really not much to tell. I went to high school with his 2 youngest sisters and knew his entire family. He was always the older brother in the Marines I’d never met. He came home on leave, we met, went on one date, I dumped my boyfriend and he asked me to marry him. Everyone thought we were nuts… but when it’s right, you know it.
😉
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Very cool! Did you have a “formal” wedding or swing by a justice of the peace on his motorcycle?
When his leave ended, did you go with him or wait at home?
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We had an informal justice of the peace wedding with a few family members as witnesses. He only had 10 days leave and wanted me to go back with him as his wife. No reception, no gifts, no honeymoon. It was a total whirlwind!
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“In matters of marriage and religion, I never give advice, for I will have no man’s torments in this world or the next laid to my charge.” –Lord Chesterfield
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A wise soul, ole Chesterfield….
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My dad has words of wisdom that have always stuck with me (and proven to be true):
It’s better to have and not need than to need and not have.
So, if you’re on the fence about grabbing that umbrella because the forecast calls for rain but it’s currently sunny outside, just take it with you! The payoff is worth any inconvenience you might have.
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Better safe than sorry is always my mantra.
👍
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Never eat yellow snow. 😊
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And in Maine, that can be a real concern.
👍
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I bet!
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Advice is only as good as its source. I don’t take advice from a con man. I never give advice to someone seeking it.
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I don’t mind advice.. if it’s given in the spirit of sharing experience and passing on hard earned wisdom.
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Then it isn’t advice, is it? It is help. It is love.
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My grandfather once suggested to me if I ever found myself arguing with my wife to make sure I apologized, even if I was sure I was in the right. He was a wise man.
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And happily married I’m sure.
😉
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Damn! Six days??! People questioned why we were rushing things, (and assuming the usual reason)I proposed on Valentine’s Day, and we were married on December 2, and just went for lunch to The Pickle Barrel, to celebrate 55 years of armed truce…. uh, wedded bliss. 😀
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The Pickle Barrel? You romantic devil… I can see why she’s kept you so long.
🤣
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We received a couple of gift cards. Of the 10 or 12 possible restaurants, she chose The Pickle Barrel. As my brother once said, “We’ve been there twice – the first time, and the last time.” Overpriced and pretentious – $80 for lunch for two, with no alcohol.
The reason she’s kept me for so long is that, long ago, I realized that she’s not always right – but she’s never wrong. 😳 🙂
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I would not have the thought a pickle restaurant was overpriced and pretentious, but a booze free $80 lunch qualifies.
And I like your reasoning. Going to tell my husband that today.
👍
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I agree with you 100% on the marriage stuff.
Six days, I mean, why did you wait so long? 😳
My aunt and uncle met on Labor day, got engaged at Halloween, and married on 12/30. They will have their 55th anniversary this year.
Sadly, the only advice I can think of this morning is what my Father used to tell me all.the.time. “DRIVE DEFENSIVELY.”
This is weird because he had the worst road rage I’d ever seen. 😳
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The reason we waited so long was the mandatory 3 day period between filing for a license and saying I do.
😉
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My advice? Never criticize a man until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Then you have their shoes and they are a mile away.
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Ha!
I like it…
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First,…38 years! Congratulations! I always admire long relationships…from the gal with too many “x’s” and a lot of learning under my belt. Lol. Simple advice that’s hard to do? “Let it go.”
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Thanks. I can’t say they’ve all been easy… but nothing worth having is.
Let it go is very good advice, though it can be hard to follow.
😉
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Absolutely!
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I love stories like yours! I once knew someone who went on a date with a guy, got engaged on their second date, and got married six months later, but you guys put them to shame! (They, too, are still happily married decades later.) As for advice, if it’s in the “relationship” category I always say “pick your battles,” but you seem to have that one covered when you say, “choosing carefully.” And also, expect that your partner will change and grow over time and accept that. As for the old “never go to bed mad,” I respectfully say “hogwash.” If I’m pissed and it’s bedtime, ain’t no one going to make me stop seeing red. Sometimes a good night’s sleep is exactly what’s needed to help calm things down and let sense prevail.
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Pick your battles for sure. I haven’t stayed married for this long by arguing over every single thing that pisses me off. That’s what blogs are for…
And yeah. I’ve gone to be angry many times. I have a slow burn.
😉
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Yeah, there’s something about serotonin. On occasion I’ve been so mad I’ve gone to bed wholly committed to picking up where we left off once we’re up, but then I wake up and I’m not as mad. Nature’s way of keeping people together, I guess.
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