.
We visited my husband’s uncle in the hospice last week. He was in good spirits…. laughing and joking with the nurses.
When we visited yesterday? We were met by a nurse who said we weren’t allowed in his room and then ushered into the chapel.
.
.
We were told to wait here for someone to come talk to us.
.
.
We waited and a woman we hardly knew, someone my husband’s uncle called ‘niece’ but wasn’t actually related, came in to inform us the uncle had taken a turn for the worse a few days before and was totally unresponsive. The end being near, his son was flying in that day from Florida and left instructions no visitors were to be allowed.
Needless to say we were beyond shocked.
Barred from seeing him. Barred from saying goodbye.
It was all I could do to stop my husband from storming the beachhead.
Since the son is legally next of kin and has power of attorney, the facility listens to him. There was nothing we could do.
.
.
Except cry.
I did a good bit of that.
.
River's world..... 
I’m sorry you had to go through that.
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While it’s true we don’t know his son that well, it seemed harsh.
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I’m so sorry. That’s just cruel.
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All the family was turned away, not just us. I simply don’t understand…
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That’s just sad and not right.
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I don’t understand it at all. We’ve been visiting him and he certainly enjoyed it.
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I know you two have been spending time with him. He looked like he was having a pretty good time on his birthday. I’m sorry this is happening.
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As am I. Thank you…
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How can people be like that? Where was he when his father needed him?
I am so sorry for you, your husband and uncle.
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In Florida, where he’s always been. They weren’t close.
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Perhaps the son didn’t realize the downside of his decision. Perhaps he didn’t realize that so many people cared for and visited his father. Perhaps he wanted to make sure his father had some peace and quiet. Everyone responds differently to that kind of news. In his heart he probably felt he was doing the right thing.
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Perhaps. But since we were the ones running his father’s errands, buying him groceries, cleaning his house and visiting him in the past few months it seemed a bit cold.
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Or maybe he is just a selfish asshole. Yeah, that is how I see it, but I am pragmatic in my observations.
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This makes zero sense. Why not let people say goodbye to him? Sometimes I don’t understand people. I’m sorry for both of you; you were so good to him—big hugs.
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Thanks. It’s been hard on my husband. He and his uncle were pretty close.
😰
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Ugh, That reminds me of what I went through with Ape after Cin died. I am so sorry. And what makes it worse is a lot of people are going to tell you, “It’s his Son, so you need to understand.”. No, You Don’t! It’s selfish! I don’t care who it is. Prayers at this trying time.
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Thank you. The niece said she would have his son call us, but we haven’t heard anything.
😰
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Hugs
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Oh River, I can’t even begin to try and understand why his son would do such a thing. You all were the closest family he had and now to not allow you to see him? I’m with Catsandcoffee, that’s just plain selfish and manipulative, ugh.
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I’m trying to understand, but I don’t.
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I am so sorry this happened to you and your husband. I am trying to understand what would make the son do this, and failing to come up with anything remotely positive.
Deb
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It hurt my heart.
💔
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I am so sorry.
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Unbelievable! I hope he just doesn’t understand the hurt he is causing, because if he does… oh dear, what an assole!
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We all deal with grief in our own way, but still.
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That ain’t the way…
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Should’ve saved the “Cruel and Unusual” title for this post. I’m so sorry.
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Wow – that’s definitely messed up – I’m so sorry for your husband. I probably would have the same response as him – storm the beach heads!
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One of those nurses looked kind of tough, but I think he could take her.
😉
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You’re never too old to get your punk ass kicked.
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What an odd decision.
I’m sorry.
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Oh, I’m sorry that is just wrong. Especially being that you have been visiting to begin with.
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What the? That’s not just cruel to you two, it’s cruel to his father! He may be unresponsive, but who knows what his senses can pick up and maybe your presence would have given him some comfort. I’m sorry, it’s not my place to say this about the man’s son, but what a twat.
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He refused other family members as well. It’s sad…
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Very selfish. It boggles the mind.
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Sorry to read this – hope you’re doing OK. That’s just awful. Honestly, who would know? What’s more important? The son’s wishes or having someone with you at what could be a frightening time. The nurses have something to answer for, too. Stay strong. And punch the prick in his face
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He wasn’t there to punch and delivered the news through a surrogate. Still tempting though…
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