Tag Archives: sadness

Rest In Peace Uncle Donny.

May 24, 2023 Rivergirl 40 Comments

We were told my husband’s cousin would call us. We thought it would be to lift the ridiculous no family visitors ban he’d implemented at Uncle Donny’s bedside .. but we were wrong.

When he finally did call and leave a message?

It was to tell us his father had passed.

Uncle Donny.

When we lived in North Carolina he would visit once or twice a year. Our cat Bubba instantly adopted him.

He was a Vietnam vet with over 20 years in the Air Force. An honest and decent man.

Seen here with his sister, my husband’s mother.

If you needed money to pay your rent? Uncle Donny.

If you needed someone to help you move? Uncle Donny.

If your child needed school clothes, a car, college tuition? Uncle Donny.

He was a lovable goofball with a big generous heart.

Though I hold him personally responsible for my spouse’s addiction to yard saling and filling our cellar with crap, I also have fond memories of trolling flea markets with him and enjoying his childlike glee when he would find a “treasure”.

Rest In Peace Uncle Donny.

You were, quite simply…. a good egg.

And will be deeply missed.

💔

Uncategorized

Not unexpected, but still sad.

May 17, 2023 Rivergirl 37 Comments

We visited my husband’s uncle in the hospice last week. He was in good spirits…. laughing and joking with the nurses.

When we visited yesterday? We were met by a nurse who said we weren’t allowed in his room and then ushered into the chapel.

We were told to wait here for someone to come talk to us.

We waited and a woman we hardly knew, someone my husband’s uncle called ‘niece’ but wasn’t actually related, came in to inform us the uncle had taken a turn for the worse a few days before and was totally unresponsive. The end being near, his son was flying in that day from Florida and left instructions no visitors were to be allowed.

Needless to say we were beyond shocked.

Barred from seeing him. Barred from saying goodbye.

It was all I could do to stop my husband from storming the beachhead.

Since the son is legally next of kin and has power of attorney, the facility listens to him. There was nothing we could do.

Except cry.

I did a good bit of that.

Uncategorized

And the sadness keeps on coming…

May 2, 2023 Rivergirl 33 Comments

Since we’ve been emotionally overwhelmed and beyond busy with my SIL’s situation over the past month… other things have taken a back seat. And though I hate to admit it, that included visits to my husband’s elderly uncle. We’d been going once a week to visit, bring groceries and run errands but hadn’t done anything other than call in three. And then the other day, we found that his phone had been disconnected.

A visit to his house found it locked up tight, blinds drawn and truck missing.

A few frantic phone calls later….

We arrived at the V.A. hospice facility.

A huge campus with a pond and strolling flocks of Canada Geese. And unlike a lot of Veterans Affairs hospitals, a complex with an excellent reputation and amazing care.

It was here that we found my husband’s soon to be 91 year old uncle.

A recent trip to the emergency room revealed he is riddled with bone cancer and has a mass on his lung.

He won’t be going home.

But honestly? He’s alright.. and has made his peace. He was in good spirits, joking, telling old stories and flirting with the hot and cold running nurses who are catering to his every whim.

This place is amazing.

Private rooms with a fridge, microwave and Bose sound system.

A large menu. Room service food whenever you want it. An ice cream and dessert cart that goes door to door like the Good Humor truck.

The high tech bed has Wi-Fi and a USB port.

With multi colored light reflections on the floor.

They even hooked up a DVD player and brought him John Wayne movies.

The staff is kind, compassionate and go out of their way to make him as comfortable as possible.

Losing a loved one is never easy, but he’s in a wonderful place and being well looked after. He’s a widower with one son who lives in Florida… so we’re going to do our best to visit as often as we can.

❤️

Uncategorized

Move it! Part two…

April 26, 2023 Rivergirl 28 Comments

A little background info.

When the hospice facility did an assessment on my SIL and determined she didn’t “rate” that level of care anymore, the search for a nursing home bed began. We were assured she could stay at the hospice until one became available, but they neglected to mention the bill would have to be privately paid from that moment on.

Our poor niece has been carrying that (pay in advance) $500 a day burden for weeks. When she said she was already $10,000 in, we realized we couldn’t let her pay the $1,000 fee The Dump Guys were going to charge to haul away the remainder of things in her mother’s apartment.

So we filled my husband’s truck.

We filled the apartment complex’s dumpster.

And we filled a friend’s truck and trailer. Then we made arrangements to donate the whole lot.

But first, a much needed moment of laughter.

There were three bottles of Bud Light left in the refrigerator, and after pinning a stray rainbow earring on a friends shirt in celebration of the now hated beer, we smiled for the first time all day.

Even our niece, who doesn’t drink… and had just broken down in tears after seeing all her mother’s things ready to leave for the last time… smiled.

Love… not to mention laughter … really are the best medicines.

💕

To be continued…

Uncategorized

Life finds a way.

April 18, 2023 Rivergirl 47 Comments

Since I dumped a rare personal feelings blog about my SIL on you recently, I thought it only proper to offer an update.

Unbelievably and against all odds, she’s still at the hospice. Relatively alert, and though weak as a new born kitten, starting to regain her appetite.

I can’t stress how remarkable this is. She was literally on her way out. We saw it, the doctors were waiting for it and yet here we are two weeks later and they say she doesn’t require further hospice care and will be moved to a nursing home soon.

I’d say this is good news but sadly it’s not. She wants to die. She keeps telling everyone we should have let her go. She has completely lost the will to live and takes no joy in anything.

We visit 2-3 times a week and tell her we love her. We bring her favorite foods and try to lighten her mood. I send her a photo of better and happier days every morning. We’ve had long, deep, emotionally draining talks, but I’m at my wits end how to help.

Maybe I can’t.

Maybe I should just stop trying.

I hate to say it, but she’s so sad and miserable maybe it would have been better if she had just slipped away.

Uncategorized

Heartbroken.

February 5, 2021 Rivergirl 42 Comments

The beautiful stray cat we fell in love with and gave a home?

Has been returned to his rightful owners.

I think you can guess that wasn’t my choice…. but when you receive a call from the local police department, there really isn’t any way to avoid it.

Apparently his people had been frantically searching for him but aren’t active on social media and didn’t see my original posts about finding him. A friend of theirs alerted a lost animal site…

And there really was no doubt.

After the police gave me their phone number, I found this on my FB messenger.

Damn.

They live right up the road from us.

The guilt was strong, because I really wanted to keep him.

But look, he has a twin brother.

Double damn. There were worried children.

I had to call.

So I called.

They came, they thanked us profusely, they took their beautiful kitty, and yes…. I cried.

Now the house seems emptier than ever.

Uncategorized

Sad backyard news.

December 22, 2020 Rivergirl 26 Comments

I knew it would probably happen, but it doesn’t make it any easier to take.

Our little blue eyed Bambi is all alone now.

We haven’t seen his mother, the old always pregnant doe, for weeks. She was nearly skeletal the last time she visited and I think her poor old body just had enough.

I’m glad she taught the little guy this was a safe place for his daily nosh. I just hope he can hook up with the rest of the herd before the full brunt of winter sets in. There’s safety in numbers when you’re a little fella.

Uncategorized

Because sometimes favors can make you cry.

April 20, 2020 Rivergirl 34 Comments

My SIL called a month or so ago and said she was redecorating a room in her house. Living in Texas makes her homesick, so she asked if I could make copies of some of my father’s Maine paintings and mail them to her.

My late father was the Vice President of a Wall Street brokerage firm who relaxed as a weekend artist. He loved nothing more than sharing his work…. so I happily agreed.

Sadly, my father died a year after he retired and only had a short period of time to paint when we moved from New Jersey to Maine. We were very close, but that particular year was hard for me. It was transitional…. and moving to a rural Island where the only way off was by boat was a huge culture shock for a 15 year old city girl. I was knee deep in silly teenage angst and didn’t spend nearly enough time with him.

Something I will always regret.

So when I started pulling paintings?