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My body has developed a sense of humor, but I’m not laughing.

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Me and my body used to be pals. It performed well, was always there when I needed it and rarely let me down. I’ve never had a cavity. Or a broken bone. Or a migraine. Or heartburn. I still have my wisdom teeth, my tonsils and my appendix. My body was a well oiled machine and had never been in the hospital until I had a full abdominal hysterectomy in 2015 which threw me into menopause before I was ready.

My body was not pleased.

And the bitch has been seeking revenge ever since.

Weight gain. Fatigue. Night sweats. Joint pain. Insomnia. Hot flashes. Brain fog.

Yes, it’s safe to say I don’t even recognize this creaking, flabby husk in which I now reside.

I have a bum knee that won’t heal. A recurring pinched nerve in my neck which flares up as I sleep. Yes, even going to bed is dangerous now.

I have bunions which painfully distort my toes. When I’m staying home? I get to wear sexy accessories like this:

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Which because it’s black Velcro attracts Lord Dudley’s cat hair. Such a good look.

Not.

And every once in a while… just because it’s bored? My body does something weird that has me saying WTF!

As it did yesterday morning when I woke up looking like this:

*Warning- photos of me without hair and makeup to follow.

Proceed at your own risk.*

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What the… what?

Half of my face was red, swollen and my eyes were puffy.

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The lids were so enlarged it was hard to keep them open.

And I had absolutely no clue why. Nothing bit me. I didn’t brush against anything poisonous. It didn’t hurt or itch… it was just there when I woke up.

I iced it.

I took Benadryl.

And 10 hours later?

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I was still red and puffy and looked like someone punched me.

Knock it off body.

You’re not the least bit funny.

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39 thoughts on “My body has developed a sense of humor, but I’m not laughing.”

      1. It could be an allergy. I became allergic for the first time in my 70 years of existence this year. It took me forever to get medical advice but finally with drops for my eyes, ears and anti whatever it cleared up.
        So don’t wait too long.

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  5. Aren’t are bodies the weirdest? I think you’re beautiful!! Your sense of humor always reminds me of a childhood friend (she was an older sister of one of my best friends). When I saw your picture, I nearly gasped (NOT because of swollen eyes) You even remind me of her in looks. I’m sorry for the issues. I had a similar experience (actually more than just that~the bunion, hysterectomy). Like you, I took Benadryl and I chalked it up to allergies. I hope it gets better!!

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  9. Oh geez, sorry your going through all of this but if it makes you feel any better, I’m right there with you, only different symptoms. The face puffiness is a constant though, only without the redness, ugh. I had a partial hysterectomy in 2013 and I didn’t hit menopause-horror until last year. Now I struggle to finger out why I’ve gained weight when I was so healthy just a year ago. Why I can’t sleep and why brain fog is something I fight constantly.

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  14. Still, my lovely-looking friend. So sorry you’re going through this. (I wanted to say you had a good run until 2015, but I want you to have many MORE good years!)
    I can’t imagine what made you swell up like that…do we need to question your husband?
    My Mom and Aunt both have/had bunion/feet issues. I have terrible arch issues, and I pray to goodness that I don’t end up with bunions like my Aunt or hammer toe like my mom.I can’t take anymore with my feet.
    Sending you all the good thoughts!! XO

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