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News you can’t use.

18 Comments

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You can’t use it, but it’s Monday… so here we are.

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I’m sorry, is there a global sperm shortage of which I’m unaware?

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That’s a lot of Swedish meatballs.

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I won’t list them, but here are a few highlights…

Yes, It Can Actually Break.

What goes in must come out.

You’re welcome.

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Good grief. As if fake news and fake boobs aren’t artificial enough these days, now I have to wonder if my grocery store sourdough is real.

(True sourdough should only have three ingredients…. flour, water, and salt. Check the ingredients)

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I don’t know about your gut,, but if you’re substituting a cactus for toilet paper? Your tuchus isn’t going to be very pleased.

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A bit odd, but it can’t be any worse than what our gutless Congress will be pushing.

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Our President teamed up with a member of the adult industry a while back as well, though with slightly different results.

😈

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18 thoughts on “News you can’t use.”

  1. There was just a story (this past week, I think) of a guy hiding in a business – but it was just 1 night, he was trying to be first for some product release.

    I’d support the sex fest… but I’m super okay with 99% of sexuality and sex talk. The “must come out” that’s always baffled me is cell phones.

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  4. Re: lab-grown sperm – this could lead to utopia for some; a world where men are unnecessary. Of course, that requires a bit of post-conception work or some will show up anyway.

    Re: sex injuries – at least as interesting are the stories told upon arrival. “I slipped in the shower and fell on it” is a common one for how objects end up in orifices. Will the “Sumer of sex” result in MPs showing up in ERs?

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  5. Most of the people in Utah are Mormons and many believe that to get into heaven you have to have at least five children. (my hubby was raised a Mormon) It doesn’t matter how those children end up … just that you have produced them. So sperm is King!

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  6. I say if you’re going to camp out in a big box retail store, IKEA is a pretty solid choice! But unless you have a firm grasp of Swedish, you’d better bring your own book if you’re in the mood for a bedtime story.

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  9. The Ikea guy reminds me of a book I read as a child, “From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler” by E.L. Konigsburg. Did you read it? Two kids runaway and move into the Met.

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  10. I’ve always wanted to be a Mother but Lab Grown Embryos sound scary. I don’t want to imagine how the Children would turn out.

    Living in IKEA sounds cool but the kitchen setups don’t actually work and I wouldn’t want to be the Employee that has to clean all those beds.

    Gotta wonder what the Pope thinks about the Sex talks. Don’t know why that thought popped in my head.

    Lastly, have seen/read a lot of emergency situations from having sex or using objects. It’s gotta be hard to work in a hospital and not laugh, at some of those.

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