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If you’re looking for that perfect Christmas gift? For God’s sake, don’t look here.

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A crocheted octopus hat? While I admit the side view is impressive, I can’t think of a single friend who would actually wear it.

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Men? I’m going to speak for all women when I say we don’t need you to amplify your junk. You’re entirely too proud of it already.

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Be still my heart.

An affection erection?

And they say romance is dead.

🤣

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