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If you’re looking for that perfect Christmas gift? For God’s sake, don’t look here.
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A crocheted octopus hat? While I admit the side view is impressive, I can’t think of a single friend who would actually wear it.
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Men? I’m going to speak for all women when I say we don’t need you to amplify your junk. You’re entirely too proud of it already.
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Be still my heart.
An affection erection?
And they say romance is dead.
🤣
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You never know when Lord Dudley Mountcatten will feel like playing. One minute he’s sound asleep on the couch while you’re watching Ken Burns’ documentary on Ernest Hemingway. The next?
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He’s nutty as a fruitcake and flinging his toys across the room.
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Maybe it was all the talk of Hemingway’s romantic entanglements that got him frisky. Ernest did love the ladies…
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My husband, the king of romance.
Since we haven’t done any traveling this year due to the global plague, my wonderful spouse suggested we take a ride up the coast one warm afternoon last week. I readily agreed and dressed appropriately.
I was a little surprised to hear him pulling the truck out of the garage instead of the Beemer, but he loves that old thing and I figured he wanted to run her for a spell.
I should have known.
Where did my thoughtful husband take me on our relaxing ride up the coast?
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To one of the few remaining bring anything and everything you want to throw out dumps that are still open during the pandemic.
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And while I’m thrilled there are still things he’s willing to relinquish, this wasn’t the leisurely waterfront cruise I had in mind.
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Romance.
I think it’s well and truly dead.
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I forgot I still had some of these crazy foreign words in my files.
So keep reading… they might come in handy some day.
Zhaghzhagh (Persian)
The chattering of teeth from the cold or from rage.
I don’t have much of a temper, but the next time this happens…..
At least I’ll know what to call it.
Cavoli Riscaldati (Italian)
The result of attempting to revive an unworkable relationship. Translates to “reheated cabbage.”
Oh, those Italians.
Ever the romantics….
Kaelling (Danish)
You know that woman who stands on her doorstep (or in line at the supermarket, or at the park, or in a restaurant) cursing at her children? The Danes know her, too.
I think we all know that woman.
Bakku-shan (Japanese)
Japanese slang term which describes the experience of seeing a woman who appears pretty from behind but not from the front.
Because sometimes, you just can’t tell.
I bet we all remember this last one from Laverne and Shirley…. but I never new what it meant until now.
Schlemiel and schlimazel (Yiddish)
Someone prone to bad luck. Yiddish distinguishes between the schlemiel and schlimazel, whose fates would probably be grouped under those of the klutz in other languages. The schlemiel is the traditional maladroit, who spills his coffee; the schlimazel is the one on whom it’s spilled.
River's world..... 