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We did a thing the other day.

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We bought a new tv.

Our old set was stupid, in that it was not smart and couldn’t stream. This never mattered much because our internet is glacially slow out here in the country… and the tvs in the bedroom and the Man Cave/Barn Mahal are smart. But the powers that be are finally running fiber optic lines down our road and we will soon hook up to Fidium.

All praise high speed!

That meant it was time to say goodbye to the 20 year old HD stupid set.

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My husband thinks he’s going to sell it at a yard sale but the only thing to do with old tech these days is use it as a boat anchor… so I doubt it.

He tried to put it the box the new set came in but couldn’t even manage to get the stand off.

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So there it sits by the front door. Upside down with the stand sticking up.

What a deal.

But I digress…

We arrived at Best Buy with me having done my research. I wanted a 50 inch Samsung and had a nice one picked out. Great quality picture and sound, under $500.

But I took the husband with me and that was a big mistake.

We didn’t come home with that one.

No.

We came home with this one that was three times the price.

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Why?

Because a salesman snagged my husband before I could buy the other one and starting extolling the virtues of their top tier products.

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Does my husband have any idea what all that means or why he needs it?

He does not.

But have it, he does.

Rushing home to try out his new toy he found a detailed pictorial guide on how to take it out of the box…

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But nothing else. No booklet, no manual, no set up instructions.

Nada, zip, zilch.

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The stand was a 3 piece nightmare that hides the power cord, if you line it up properly. Which he didn’t manage until the fifth try.

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His Lordship was on hand to help of course.

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There. Television on a stand.

It was at this point he turned it over to me because tech is not his friend and he had absolutely no idea how to turn it on no less install and format things.

Can’t say I blame him, they don’t make it easy these days.

Remember when you just used to plug it in? No programming required. Now there are passwords, and usernames, and codes,… I had to set up a damn Samsung account just to access the stupid thing. Twenty minutes into that horror show it was time to pair our Directv remote with the television.

And that’s where it went off the rails.

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Yup. Did that. And the second number did the trick. Or so we thought.

Until we tried to watch tv that evening and only a few buttons worked. On/off, volume and mute were fine. Nothing else responded. This is the kind of thing that drives me batty. I spent a solid hour on the internet trying to find a solution. I reset and reprogrammed, I tweaked and twiddled to no avail. Then I broke down and did what I hate to do.

I called Directv customer support.

After 15 minutes of bypassing AI, I got a real live human. (Or at least I think I did.)

She took me through all the steps and fixes I’d already tried … then told me they would mail us a new remote because ours seemed to be scrambled.

Great.

So while we wait for that, we have a brand new $1,500 tv that’s basically stuck on one channel. Only some of the numbers on the remote work, and not every time.

Good times.

And Best Buy?

They were really helpful and sent this email the next day…

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Too late.

We already had our moment.

🥴

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