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My girlfriend was in the market for furniture and asked me to go with her to the new Jordan’s that opened at the Maine Mall.
.
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Holy mackerel Batman!
Clearly it’s been a long time since I shopped for a sofa, because this was a totally immersive experience.
Yes, that picture is of the one store… not the mall itself. Huge doesn’t begin to describe it. We walked and walked and walked and thought we’d never find the end.
Some of the furniture was…
.
.
Different.
Let’s go with that.
.
.
Wait…
What?
.
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Is this the hamster night light option?
Or disco lighting for when your urge to do the Hustle is too strong to ignore?
Either way, I’ll pass.
.
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The home office section had a few quirky pieces as well.
.
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They were actually selling these vintage typewriters.
Price? $450.
And yes, I’ll be checking the husband’s barn for one as soon as I’m done posting.
So it was an interesting place. But the weirdest thing of all?
.
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This:
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Yes.
It’s been long time since I went furniture shopping.
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River's world..... 
In my area, you can buy a couch but good luck getting one delivered in less than a month.
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I’ve heard of contactless delivery, which means they bring it and leave it on your lawn. Um… no!
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Wow. I guess I haven’t been furniture shopping in too long a time. No lighting on my easy chair, please.
Maybe you could just open the big barn for a day, put insane price rage on everything, blast some music, flash some video and see what happens.
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You could definitely swing from the rafters upstairs. You might be on to something….
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Looks like they are selling a lifestyle to a few bored people. Once they have you in the door, you are sold.
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I walked in, and walked out…. empty handed.
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Felt like I was on Fremont Street in Vegas!
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Which is not the look I usually go for in my living room….
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Wow, that’s just one store?!?! See, the hubs is selling his crap, ahem vintage stuff to upscale stores likes these. And here you thought he was just collecting….okay it’s far fetched but, I’m glad he didn’t go with you. You would have found that green vintage phone thiny in the papa barn I’m sure.
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We totally would have. Close call….
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You actually found a mall that wasn’t turned into four churches, 2 day cares, a charter school, 11 Dollar Stores, and an Aunty Anne’s?
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We did. It’s the biggest, and probably only, one in Maine that still has brick and mortar stores.
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Yeah, and after looking at their inventory, I am guessing it will not last long. Unless you happen to be looking for overpriced cheap Taiwanese made furniture and a bicycle table.
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Never underestimate the value of transportation under your table. Sometimes a quick getaway makes up for the lack of graceful design.
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I think that store lighting would give me LSD flash backs .. not good …
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Not good, no. But on the other hand there are plenty of mattresses to collapse on when you’re done.
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Who do you think you are fooling? That is the husband’s barn!! Come on–that bicycle table? Yes, that old typewriter and phone? If it isn’t then I suggest you make a neon sign saying THE MAIN MAINE STORE!! Heck the Jordan store will probably buy everything!!
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If only….
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I could never shop there. I’d be asking the salespeople where I could go to order a drink and to please point me in the direction of the nearest bathroom for snorting coke.
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BYOB … and I think they sell tables for the coke.
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This almost looks like a tourist attraction. 😛
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I think it is now.
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The prices on the furniture must be nose-bleed high to afford all that “ambience.”
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They actually weren’t. Pretty reasonable compared with other stores around there… although the quality is another thing altogether.
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I was about to say, you could sneak in a few items that you’ve collected, put a price tag on it and see if anyone notices.
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My husband’s items are usually too large sneak.
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That video reminds me to keep up my vigilant avoidance of malls. Can you say “overstimulation?”
By the way, I saw pretty much that exact same bike table in Laos nine months ago:
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It wouldn’t surprise me, we don’t make anything here anymore. As for overstimulation, I know I’m getting old. Those flashing lights drove me nuts.
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Like clothes, once in a while the fashion or trend reverts back to the old school.
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Love the layout. Almost better then Ikea
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But did you enjoy some Jordon Marsh Blueberry Muffins 🙂
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We did not.
🥺
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