Tag Archives: shopping

Have you ever gotten so sidetracked you forgot where you started?

 

I was at Wal Mart the other day and decided to cruise down the clearance aisle. I don’t often shop there, but clearance racks are like thrift stores. You never know what you’ll find.

I found this:

 

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I chuckled. I photographed it. I came home, started to write a blog and thought…..  come on.

How often does corn need to wear a coat?

 

 

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Fair enough… if not slightly disturbing.

Proof positive there’s a Google Image for everything.

And then I saw –

 

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Which is definitely disturbing.

Corn porn?

WTH!

And of course that got me thinking of that damned corn on the cob dildo I found on Amazon a while back, which lead me to –

 

 

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Make of that what you will.

Google Images has a mind of it’s own.

But thinking about disturbing corn also made my mind go here –

 

 

 

Oh, yeah.

Stephen King’s Children of the Corn.

A camp classic.

But not the only strange corn…

 

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And that made me remember Corn Stonehenge.

 

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Yes, it really exists.

Dublin, Ohio

Maybe it’s supposed to be ironic, this former corn field, sprouting 109 people-sized ears of concrete corn in a large oddball art display. But it’s also a salute to Sam Frantz, an inventor of hybrid corns, and a very weird sight along the highway.

Frantz farmed this site from 1935 to 1963, using it as as a study field for tasty mutant strains. Frantz was “well known for his development of hybrid corn seeds,” and worked with Ohio State University on hybridization projects. He donated this land, now named Sam and Eulalia Frantz Park, after its farming days were over.

 

Field of Corn.

 

The artist brought in by the Dublin Arts Council to create the environment of corn, Malcolm Cochran, completed the field in 1994.

Intended by the Arts Council to remind residents of the area’s long-gone agricultural heritage, the Field of Corn instantly became a joke — giant inedible food — paid for with tax dollars, and surrounded by a sprawl of corporate offices, bland businesses and suburban neighborhoods.

 

 

And now, I totally want to go and take a corn selfie.

 

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(Admit it… you do too.)

But if that isn’t enough corn cuteness for you?

 

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Here’s a capybara.

In a pool.

Eating corn.

Just because I can.

From Wal Mart’s clearance aisle to giant rodents eating corn.

That’s the very definition of sidetracked.

 

Maybe, just maybe….

 

It’s been said I buy too much food when I go grocery shopping.

And I agree, that might be true.

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So every once in a while I have to purge my kitchen cabinets and pantry of non used and so old they’re rusting  slightly out date products.

 

 

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It really is amazing how much stuff I can stuff in there.

Did I need 13 bags of nuts and dried fruit to add to my salads?

Apparently yes.

Yes, I did.

 

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I also needed 5 bottles of vinegar (which I despise) and numerous Asian condiments that never managed to make it into a stir fry.

All of the above had to be thrown out.

Were they past their prime?

 

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Perhaps a wee bit.

And as much as it killed me, I threw out a chocolate bar.

 

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Because yes, they really can go bad…. even though I didn’t think that was possible.

And speaking of chocolate, did you know there’s now a Game of Thrones Oreo?

 

 

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Oh, yes…. there is.

And if you like the Game of Thrones intro?

You’re going to love it in Oreos.

 

 

Epic thrift store finds.

 

I read an article the other day about the crazy things people find at thrift stores. This was right up my alley as I used to post my wackadoodle discoveries as well.

If you’ve never thrifted?

You’ve never really shopped.

I mean really…. where else can you find these treasures.

Searching for fine literature?

 

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Find it at the Thrift store.

Not being a musher, I was totally unaware sexual preference was even a factor.

Go figure.

 

When you’re in need of a box of decapitated doll heads?

 

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And let’s be honest…

Who isn’t these days?

 

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They’re at the Thrift store.

 

When you’re searching for a little extra something to compliment the dogs playing poker velvet wall hanging in your living room?

 

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You’ll find it at the Thrift store.

Shells playing poker are perfect.

 

Fido’s constant shedding driving you nuts?

 

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Thrift store to the rescue.

Beat grandma to the punch this Christmas and give her the ugly sweater.

 

Can’t find that just right gift for the dominatrix in your life?

 

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Look no more…. your local thrift store has S&M Teddy.

Her heart will melt, and then she’ll whip heart shaped cuts on your thighs.

It’s a win win.

 

And speaking of gifts…

Those hard to buy for people?

They’d love a vomit clock from the Thrift store.

 

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Yes, that was the description the person who found it gave in the article.

Vomit clock.

I’m hoping¬† (really, really hoping)¬† that it’s just heavily shellacked pebbles in a putrid pink hue.

But hey, it came from a thrift store….

Anything’s possible.

 

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Things you really don’t need.

 

You…

Or anyone else for that matter.

 

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I’m guessing the Kardashian’s have closets full of those…

 

 

But probably not these.

 

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Pokemon friendly leather.

That means plastic… right?

 

This next item said you’d be the envy of all your friends if you had one.

 

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I’m going to go out on a limb here and say if you own an enamel pin collection?

You probably don’t have many friends to begin with.

 

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Do I need to wake up pouting?

Probably not.

 

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I also don’t want to walk around smelling like birthday cake all day.

Christ…

I have a hard enough time avoiding cake as it is.

 

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Now this I could get behind….

But only if I didn’t tell my friend the purpose, and randomly make her lamp go on and off long distance.

*Cue evil laugh*

 

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I’m not sure how blue I’d have to be to enjoy this…

But thankfully I’m not there yet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Help me out here…

 

Like most humans, I have two legs.

 

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Alright, and some cats as well.

So how is it possible that I had 107 pairs of jeans, slacks and capris in my closet?

 

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107.

So… 214 leg coverings.

 

 

How did it happen….

Is there a trouser fairy I’m unaware of?

Or do they breed when the lights go out?

 

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Something had to be done.

So I tried on 98 pieces of clothing.

This was in no way enjoyable and looked something like this:

 

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(If you don’t have fat and skinny sections in your closet? Please move along, I don’t tolerate that kind of self control here.)

I know, I know.

The stack had gotten a little out of hand.

But look, I’m donating all of these…

 

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And I managed to organize a small section of shelf.

 

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Woo hoo! I can see the wall.

Yay me.

But now?

Someone needs to talk to the shirts.

 

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Because I’m getting a little overwhelmed.

 

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Yeah, it’s a tough call.

 

Because a girl has to take advantage of extra closet space when it presents itself…. right?

Can they spare it?

 

Have you ever shopped Origins?

It’s a high end supposedly all natural line of skin care, scent etc.

 

 

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I stopped in the other day with a girlfriend and while she was buying, I was browsing.

Naturally I was stalked by a saleswoman.

If you know me, you’ll know I hate this… and if you trail me around like a blue tick hound?

I won’t buy anything just out of spite.

I’m in your store. With my wallet. There’s a good chance I’ll buy something if I like it… so leave me the hell alone.

She wouldn’t… so I didn’t.

Seeing her commission walk out the door was apparently too much for this woman, because as I was leaving she handed me a sample pack of products….

 

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With a long detailed description of how wonderful they were and how much I would love them.

It was a little mushroom heavy for my taste… but hey, free is free.

Free?

Maybe.

But when I got home and opened the samples?

 

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The quantity, or lack there of…. surprised even me.

 

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Sorry Origins.

I’d like to tell you I loved them…

But you didn’t give me nearly enough to find out.

 

 

 

 

Turns out you really can get anything from Amazon….

 

But sometimes, my question is this…

Why would you want to?

 

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Personally, I’ve never felt the need to shed my skin like a snake…

But okay, whatever floats your boat.

 

And while I enjoy a good bug museum as much as the next girl…

 

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I’ve never felt the need to actually snack on them.

Eww.

 

This one?

 

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I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it just looks…

Wrong.

 

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Likewise for Fred and friends dunking their nether regions in my cup of hot tea.

Just…

No.

 

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I could probably get behind the bread alignment pad…

 

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And sure.

Wine condoms, if anyone actually ever has leftover wine.

(Is that even possible?)

 

But this last one –

Is not only an affront to common decency…

But the ruination of every backyard bbq and clambake in my foreseeable future.

 

 

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Damn you Amazon…

I may never eat corn again.