Tag Archives: shopping

Product Hell.

 

Have you ever walked through a store and spotted products that make you do a double take?

I do it quite often and always stop to take pictures to rant/blog/post about later.

Here are a few of my latest finds:

 

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Pickle In A Pouch.

Unrefrigerated and languishing for God knows how long by the cash register?

That’s just wrong.

 

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But Big Papa anthropomorphized Pickle…

The Portly Pickle who’s arms are open wide and ready to wrap you in his pickley goodness??

So very, very wrong.

 

 

Then… there was this:

 

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A remote control Tom Brady helicopter.

Maybe Bill Belichick will use these to spy on opposing teams from now on,  who knows.

But I have to admit…

 

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I think they got Tom’s shade of lipstick just right.

 

 

And finally, there was this wireless keyboard and mouse I ordered from Amazon for the husband.

 

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Which looked great until we opened it and found it didn’t include a dongle. I went back to the Amazon listing and it said “Just plug and play”, so where the hell was it?

Let’s check the instructions.

 

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“Keybord”?

 

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Yeah.

Shame my Japanese is a little rusty.

 

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P.S.   The dongle?

Hidden in a compartment on the back of the mouse.

It’s always the last place you look.

 

 

 

Cape Cod Day 6… antiques, cocktails and dinner on the water.

 

Because you know no road trip with my husband is complete without a visit to an antique store…

 

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I’d managed to make it almost 6 full days without one, but my luck ran out.

 

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He scoured the stalls…

 

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Thoroughly perused the cases…

 

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Chuckled at the creepy mid century Santas.

 

 

And then….

 

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Bought a folding freight sled.

And if that wasn’t bad enough? The damned thing was from Maine!

Jesus wept.

 

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And I drank.

 

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It was the only appropriate response.

 

 

So we ended the afternoon at a wonderful waterfront restaurant…

 

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Called Fisherman’s View.

 

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Where I worked my way down the cocktail list.

 

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Have you ever had Casoni 1814 in a mixed drink? Ooh la la!

I hadn’t… but will be looking for it soon.

 

 

Food?

 

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Yes, they had that too. But since it was late afternoon and I wouldn’t be cooking when we got back, we opted to stay and wait for the dinner menu…

 

 

And watched the non stop crabbing…

 

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As well as some tugs escorting a barge through the Cape Cod Canal.

 

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Crab cake appetizer for me….

 

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Butternut squash and apple bisque for the other half.

And as evening rolled around…

 

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Neither one of us managed to get past that night’s specials.

 

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Scallops Spaghettini for me…

 

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Beef tenderloin for the hubs.

 

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Both were superb…. and I cursed the the fact that we hadn’t found this place earlier in our trip.

Replete…

 

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We took a short walk around the harbor.

 

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Enjoyed the sunset.

 

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And the view of that wonderful restaurant lit up in the distance.

 

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Back at the resort condo, the husband was knee deep in the impeachment coverage on MSNBC.

A guaranteed way to kill my buzz…

 

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So I escaped upstairs to my nook overlooking the living room to read….

 

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And (not quite) drunkenly play with my phone.

Cape Cod Day 4, Edgartown (and because you knew there had to be some…. rocks.)

 

First stop on Martha’s Vineyard?

 

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Edgartown.

 

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A beautiful place to visit…

 

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A nerve wracking place to drive.

 

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The streets are narrow and many of them one way.

 

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Which is charming…. until a delivery truck blocks your only egress.

 

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But let’s get back to beautiful.

 

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Park your car and walk…

 

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Because that’s the only way you’ll discover all the wonderful nooks and crannies in town.

 

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Since we were there in November, off season…

 

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We practically had it all to ourselves.

 

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Full of old world charm…

 

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And coastal breezes…

 

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I highly recommend an extended stroll.

 

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And the required clothing souvenir from the Black Dog.

 

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(Okay, I bought 3… so sue me.)

I could have easily walked and shopped all day but the husband will only tolerate so much of that.

So we headed out.

 

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And drove past mile ….

 

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After mile….

 

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After mile…

 

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Of stone walls.

 

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Seriously, I thought they would never end.

 

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Some houses had them in the front, to the sides and around the back.

 

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Some sections of the road had them lining both sides.

 

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And speaking as someone from Maine, which has it’s own fair share of stone walls…

 

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I must say, this section of the Vineyard put us Mainers to shame.

Resort hopping Part 3… The Eagle Mountain House.

 

Last on our list of resorts that day was an old and well known establishment.

 

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New England is full of quirky places like this.

 

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With a nice big porch…

 

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And a nice big view…

 

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It was a pleasant spot to end the day.

 

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Charming…

 

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Cozy…

 

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And full of antiques….

 

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It was instantly welcoming.

 

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I can’t say it any better than that.

 

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The bar.

 

 

Oh, stuff it Dorothy.

You know us better by now.

 

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But amusing sign aside…

 

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The mushroom risotto cake appetizer left a lot to be desired, as did the cranberry gin fizz.

A definite meh.

 

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We only stayed for one round and then headed into the gift shop… where I saw a wine tag that made me laugh.

 

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As well as…

Are you ready for this?

A bucket of ducks!

 

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Christ on a cracker….enough with the rubber ducks.

This was getting creepy.

 

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Bidding farewell to the hotel, and the ducks….

 

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It took all I could do to convince the husband he could not go rummage in the establishment’s old slate roofed barn.

 

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The mere thought of not being able to gather up all the unloved tools and rusted treasures that must be stored in there? Practically ruined his night…

 

 

A bridge too far.

 

It’s bad enough my husband stops at every yard sale he sees.

 

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It’s bad enough he comes home from the dump with more than he went with.

It’s bad enough he built a giant barn and filled it with useless stuff before it was completed.

 

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But what happened the other day?

Is a bridge too far.

We woke up, had a lovely breakfast, went outside and saw something on the barn porch. I didn’t think it was a good something…

But the husband dragged it inside before it could run away.

 

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Yeah.

 

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Someone left an old sewing machine.

 

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Complete with original boxes of accessories….

 

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And owners manual… with free mouse turd. Ack!

We have no idea who committed this heinous crime…. but when I find out?

They will feel my wrath.

 

 

The husband needs no help finding old worthless junk!

So please… I beg you.

Bypass our porch and take your crap to the dump next time!

(Though not the one in our town, or any neighboring towns where he’s apt to shop.)

 

 

 

 

White Mountains trip Day 6.. shopping and scenery.

 

Bethel is a lovely little mountain village with some quirky shops.

 

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With a heavy accent on the Yeti for some reason.

 

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We stopped in a gallery….

 

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Filled with local artists…

 

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Moose…

 

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And numerous paintings of vegetables.

Thanks, but I prefer them on my plate… not my walls.

 

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Heading out of town we passed a gorgeous old Victorian.

 

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And a stately old colonial.

A home like that would be my dream… that, and enough money to buy one of those grand old dames and update their interiors.

New houses have no charm.

 

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We cruised along enjoying the scenery…

 

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And the views.

 

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Damn, could you imagine having that for your back yard?

 

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Not too shabby.

A little farther down the road the husband spotted some new construction and turned in to check them out.

 

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By the look of the views? I knew we couldn’t afford it.

 

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The properties were a good size.

 

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With special attention paid to make sure no home blocked another’s view.

 

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So if I win the lottery?

 

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Look for me living here in the autumn.

Number 15 looks just fine…

 

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We have a version of this sign over our way, so it tickled me to see one in the mountains.

 

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Yes, those really are all the names of Maine towns.

 

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Day 6 done, we headed back to our resort for dinner at Camp.

 

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I liked the upscale rustic theme…

 

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Sitting under a lighted canoe…

 

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And a yummy salt brined citrus roasted chicken dinner.

 

 

 

Because it’s my job.

 

Bringing weird and not so wonderful products to my reader’s attention.

It’s what I do.

 

 

And I know you wouldn’t want to miss an opportunity to have one of these for your very own, so…

 

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Yes.

It’s a onesie that’s also a seat.

How can you go wrong?

No more standing for endless hours at your kid’s soccer game. No more shuffling on sore feet while waiting on line at the DMV.

There’s a stupid product made just for you.

And a stupid video to accompany it.

 

 

 

Admit it…

You want one.