Tag Archives: shopping

Bite me Duluth Trading…

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I knew when I clicked that stupid disembodied nostril Duluth Trading Company ad for underwear the other day I would regret it. I knew it… and I did it anyway for the sake of a blog laugh.

Now, I pay the price.

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Yes, the algorithms have kicked in with a vengeance.

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I know that particular item is meant for your shoes to provide traction in the snow, but admit it. You visualized the same kinky S&M corset I did on first glance too … right?

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Unless you need a gift for Tiny Tim’s grandson, I can find no reasonable explanation for that product.

And finally after all those bombs, I saw something I would actually consider buying.

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A chicken flicker.

It’s like darts, with poultry. Perfect!

I was picturing hours of slightly intoxicated fun in the man cave and then…

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Way to go Duluth.

Teasing a girl with competitive chicken tossing and then not delivering is just cruel.

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Sky high and going higher.

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I went grocery shopping yesterday…. and while I usually just buy what I want regardless of the cost, gazing down at the pot roast in my hand made me audibly gasp.

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A quite small, unimpressive rump roast had a $36 price tag… and damned if I didn’t leave it right there.

May I just say, what the utter f*ck?

I paid $17 for a pound of 80/20 hamburger and almost fainted when I saw this…

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Yes, it’s a rib roast. But so small I doubt you’d get 4 good slices. And while I used to cook them quite often… if I’m paying $25 per plate? I’ll go out to a restaurant, let someone else cook it and be served thank you very much.

Beef prices are certifiably insane right now.

And if you think it’s any better in the seafood department, think again.

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Picked lobster meat is $53 a pound. Throw in a little mayonnaise and it’s $60.

And I live in Maine for Christ’s sake!

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As seen in Wal Mart.

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I’m not a fan of Wal Mart, but in my neck of the woods it’s the best and cheapest place to buy the hundreds of pounds of bird seed our greedy avian friends devour.

On this trip I needed milk and bread… which meant I had to traverse the entire store from left front corner to right rear corner because Wal Mart is nothing if not an evil marketer.

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Sandwich meat?

Not today.

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Breadless breading?

No thank you.

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And while I never, ever buy meat at Wally World…

This package of “premium pork steak” ensured I’ll never even be tempted.

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Things for which there are no reasonable explanations.

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Have you noticed the new trend in flour? They make it out of everything now. Back in my day you had Gold Medal and the only choices were 1 pound or 5. Now? There’s rice flour, almond flour, spelt flour and….

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Good grief, don’t people know the only acceptable alternative use of watermelon is margaritas?

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I saw this coffee table in Home Goods the other day and it made me wonder….

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Has caging misbehaving children and dinner guests now become acceptable?Because I’m fine with that.

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Crocs…the hideous abominations are everywhere.

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They’re basically the Honey Boo Boo of footwear and people need to stop wearing them.

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And fruit themed Crocs?

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Do nothing to alter my opinion of these pathetic plastic horrors. Please… for the love of all that’s holy, let these things die the natural death of outdated ugly footwear.

Like Jellies.

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They were hideous, but at least they had the decency to die.

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Goodwill is good for the soul.

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A girlfriend and I hit Goodwill the other day and if nothing else, it’s a great place to pick up cheap books.

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16 books for $21? A little slice of heaven right there.

Of course, even thrift store shopping isn’t immune to politics these days…

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And while I didn’t buy that tee shirt, I did buy this one. Because, honestly…. I had to.

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I shall wear it and point at myself the next time my husband disagrees with me. That should go over well.

My girlfriend was in the mood for Cracker Barrel so that’s where we headed for lunch. The restaurant was almost empty but the hostess told us there would still be a 20-25 minute wait to be seated due to short staffing. (I’m seriously tired of waiting for meals… have all the pre Covid waiters and waitresses been abducted by aliens and given the anal probe? If not… please go back to work. River be hungry. )

Since it was raining we chose to wander the store instead of sitting outside on the rocking chairs, and that’s where I saw this:

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For which I have no logical explanation.

But perhaps the biggest surprise of the day?

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Alcohol… at Cracker Barrel!

When did that happen? Granted it’s not a favorite restaurant of mine and I probably haven’t stepped foot in one since my mother passed but it seems like I would have noticed such a momentous event.

Since their beer was dishwater I opted for a mimosa, which was close to dishwater only fizzy… but yes, it was alcohol!

At Cracker Barrel!

The world really has gone mad.

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This is not a trend I want to encourage.

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Halloween is coming and the holiday themed products are popping up everywhere. While most of them are harmless, I did run across one that made me shiver.

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Uh….. what?

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I’m not sure eating their owner’s body parts is the type of behavior we should be encouraging in our cats.

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Lord Dudley is already pissed we strap him into a harness…. I don’t need him getting any ideas.

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Strange things seen whilst shopping.

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I spent a long over due retail therapy day with my girlfriend recently. Of all the things I’ve missed over the past year, that ranks pretty high on the list. One of our stops was Goodwill, where I saw this:

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Here’s hoping they hire someone who knows how to spell this time.

Further down the road, I saw this oddly named store.

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And something tells me they’re not talking about the corned beef variety.

At TJMaxx I found this disturbing product.

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No need to wash that blouse you’ve worn 27 times. Just give it a little spritz and be on your malodorous way.

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Halfway through our shopping extravaganza… it was time for lunch. This is normally not a problem since South Portland has a plethora of restaurants. But since no one wants to go back to work, every single place we tried was understaffed and had an hour long wait. With a groan of desperation, we ended up at Red Robin where I spotted a most unappetizing burger on the menu.

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#1. Putting a burger between two pieces of greenery does not magically transform lettuce into a bun. Just, no.

And more importantly –

#2. Do not name your abomination of a burger ‘The Wedgie’. Creeping underwear issues do not make my mouth water.

(And if they make you salivate? Please exit my blog and don’t come back.)

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