Tag Archives: furniture

And on the 7th day…. River said thou feet shall be rested.

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After all the hassle we had with the Barn Mahal’s leather club chairs, the addition of a matching ottoman was almost too easy.

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Of course I told the husband I was ordering it online and having it delivered. No discussion necessary…. or allowed for that matter.

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Two nice young men carried it to the barn, put the legs on and said they would leave me a few extra scratch guards.

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Yup. That’s definitely a few…

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When everything that can go wrong…. does. Part 2

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We woke Saturday morning trying to laugh at how horrible the day before had been. It was a definite nightmare, but the sun was shining, the birds were singing and we had new leather chairs to unpack!

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We also had large tracks torn in our lawn from our friend’s giant diesel truck. Of course it had to rain while we were gone the night before, making the ground nice and slippery when he backed up to the porch. 😬

Oh well, out to the barn we went to unwrap the chairs. These chairs… the pretty caramel colored ones we picked out at the store.

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And when we unwrapped the first one?

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It was the wrong color. And had no legs. WTF??? I was livid. After all we went through to get the damn things! I was even pissed off at the tag…

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Real natural? As opposed to what…. fake natural, or real pleather?

I was sputtering and reaching for my phone to call the store and pitch a fit when the husband decided he liked the wrong color and wanted to keep them. Which meant one of two things… he didn’t want to hear me bitch and rant or the thought of waiting another 2 months for replacements and going through the whole warehouse trip again was simply too much.

Either way, he wanted them. And though I wasn’t happy with the much darker color, sometimes I have to remember it’s his man cave and he should be allowed to choose something every now and then. (not that I’ll make a habit of that mind you) But we still had to deal with the no legs issue. We searched the boxes and the wrappings and under the cushions. Nothing. I was getting ready to call the store again and pitch a fit when the husband noticed a string hanging under the second chair.

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There was a zippered compartment under each chair with a box of legs. Clever. But I have to wonder how many other clueless customers search in vain.

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Pieces and parts. And a few hammer shots later…

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I read another tag.

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Our leather chairs are going to have zits and mosquito bites? WTH.

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So there they are. In all their too damned dark glory.

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Husband is happy, and I have to admit they’re very comfortable. But I’m thinking a few strategically placed throw pillows will go a long way to pull it altogether.

😉

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When everything that can go wrong…. does.

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We got a phone call telling us the leather chairs we’d ordered for the man cave were ready for pickup. Erring on the side of caution, I suggested we take the husband’s old truck in for a check up before making the long trip. In typical man fashion he thought this was a ridiculous idea, got aggravated with me for impugning the integrity of his baby and told me to schedule the furniture pick up for Friday.

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You knew where this was going…. right? The truck started sputtering and jerking when we hit I-95, an hour after we left home. I suggested we turn around and go back, but no. The husband had the bright idea to get off the highway and ride the back roads down to New Hampshire. This added at least 2 hours to our 2 1/2 trip. When we finally limped in to Nashua… which has awful stop and go traffic and endless traffic lights on the main drag… the truck was stalling every time it idled. I suggested we pull off the road, but no. The husband could literally see the warehouse where our chairs were patiently waiting. He didn’t pull over… so at the final red light? The truck died. Totally and completely died. Smoke pouring out from under the doors died. Yours truly had to jump out and help the husband push it off the busy road into a parking lot. With my bad knee. In case you were wondering…. pushing an 8 foot bed pickup is not on the approved radial meniscus tear exercise list. Ouch! We called AAA and were told due to a tow truck driver shortage it would be a 3 hour wait. Ever sit in a hot truck for 3 hours waiting on a tow? I don’t recommend it. At 4:30 that afternoon…

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The tow truck came, loaded our vehicle on the flat bed and promptly told us due to Covid restrictions we couldn’t ride back to Maine with him … and oh yeah, our coverage was only good for 100 miles. So they’d have to charge us $5 per mile for the overage.

😳

We paid, the truck went back to Maine…. and there was really only one thing left for us to do.

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I drank. I fumed. I ate southwestern egg rolls. I drank some more.

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There may have been eye rolling. (Who am I kidding, there was definitely eye rolling. )

And then I called a friend. A good friend who jumped in his brand new truck and drove over 2 hours to pick us… and our leather chairs … up. Good thing the warehouse was open until 8:00pm.

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We took him out for dinner and drinks. We filled his giant gas tank. I slipped $100 bill in his center console.

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We arrived home after midnight.

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Not the best time to move furniture, but when do we ever do anything the easy way?

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Did I mention the barn door (the free door my husband got at the dump) is a non standard size? The chairs got stuck 4 times. There may have been cursing, but at that point I was too tired to care.

We rolled in to bed about 1:30am…. and I thought the bad luck was over.

I was wrong.

To be continued….

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Of tables, poorly placed rabbits and disappointing food.

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After the husband decided on leather chairs for his man cave, the focus switched to a table to put in front of them. Having just spent two exhausting days in and out of a disturbingly high number of furniture stores, I was less than enthusiastic. And when I saw what kind of tables he was considering?

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(Tables should not have wheels!) I was even less enthusiastic.

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Thinking he’d taken leave of his senses, I cried Uncle and headed for the ladies room before our two and a half hour long drive home.

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And if there was ever a stranger place to decorate with rabbits? I don’t know where it would be. No one needs a fluffle of Thumpers looking over their shoulder in a bathroom stall. Talk about performance anxiety… geesh. ( And yes, a group of rabbits really is called a fluffle. Which, when you think about it… is totally spot on. )

On the way home we stopped at a restaurant we’ve always enjoyed but haven’t frequented since early 2020.

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Is the beer really better there? I don’t know, but they have an extensive list to be sure. They also pour some interesting martinis …..

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So naturally I indulged in two Prickly Pears. The drinks were fabulous…

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But tiny.. more like wide lipped shot glasses. And for $24? I’d like to take more than 4 sips.

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While the food looked wonderful, shrimp stir fry for me… Parmesan baked haddock for the husband… both were dry as a bone, overcooked and cool when they reached the table. French onion soup forgotten and delivered with the meal? That’s a big no no. By the time the husband started his fish, it was stone cold. A disappointing visit to a place we used to love.

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Out of state searching.

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I thought we’d decided on the leather chairs for the barn we’d seen the day before and were heading down to NH to purchase them, but I was wrong. For a man who claims to hate shopping, it amazed me how many different furniture stores my husband wanted to visit. Day 2? We spent 5 hours driving and 5 hours fruitlessly searching. Granted there were some truly horrible choices.

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White pleather power recliner with LED lighted cup holders?

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That’s a hard no.

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As were these fake snake skin monstrosities. We spent over an hour wandering around one store only to have my husband give up on chairs and focus on the handmade tables crafted entirely from reclaimed wine barrels on the way out.

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And yes, of course he bought one.

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This chair? Goldilocks deemed it too shiny.

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This chair? God help me, he said it was too “crunchy”. I was ready to throw in the towel and live with an empty man cave corner when… after 11 hours of plunking his posterior in at least 40 chairs over the course of 2 days…. he decided he wanted to go back to Jordans and buy the very first chair we saw.

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So that’s what we did. But the first salesman in Maine had neglected to tell us was the New Hampshire warehouse didn’t stock them and we’d have to wait a month or so for them to come in. Grrr. But order them we did, from the NH store (no tax!) and we received a 10% military discount. We also removed the delivery fee by agreeing to pick them up ourselves. Total savings? $630. Was it worth the aggravation? The jury’s still out on that one.

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The search begins.

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The weather is getting warmer and that means the barn porch furniture needs to migrate from the man cave to its outdoor home.

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Which is going to leave a big hole in the room. Solution? Two manly leather club chairs and a table. Unfortunately this meant prolonged shopping excursions with the husband. And trust me… when it comes to picky, women have nothing on my other half. When we need new furniture, I usually do the scouting and narrow it down to 3 choices. Anything more than that overloads his senses. So imagine my unmitigated horror surprise when he suggested we make a day of it.

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Yes, that’s close.

Off we went down to Portland. First stop was Jordan’s furniture which is a truly massive multi level store. They had a nice selection of leather but nothing pleased the husband.

This was the first chair we saw and I thought it was perfect.

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The husband liked it, but wanted to keep looking.

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This chair? Too saggy.

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This chair? Too deep.

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This chair? Too small. Store after store after store and he didn’t like anything.

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Now don’t get me wrong, it’s a big purchase and I want him to be happy but after visiting 8 stores over the course of 6 hours, Goldilocks still wasn’t satisfied.

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The first chair had my vote and I lobbied hard. Nice grade of leather, perfect size, good color, and firm cushions. Husband wanted another look, so back to Jordan’s we went. He gave it a second test drive and agreed it was the best we’d found. I thought we were done and gave silent thanks to all the Gods I don’t believe in. Shiva, you rock!

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I positively swooned when the husband had a salesman print out an estimate thinking the ordeal was over…. but when my spouse found out their warehouse was in NH and there would be a $150 charge to deliver the chairs to Maine? He said we would drive to NH the following day. Five hours on the road, in his old 8 foot bed Ford pickup just to save $150. It will probably cost us that in gas.

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To be continued.

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Toys.

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten loves to play.

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Which is why we have an entire drawer dedicated to cat toys.

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He loves his toys long and hard … and his favorite mouse is looking a little worse for wear these days.

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But then so am I, so I shouldn’t judge.

His favorite new thing to do is carry a ball to a spot under the coffee table….

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And then wind himself around a leg.

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He goes around and around in a circle and it’s quite comical to watch.

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Until I took a closer look and realized most of the coffee table legs now look like this…

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Sigh.

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Random drivel.

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A while back my husband dragged an ottoman into the living room. The fact that it barely matches the armchair and doesn’t match the sofas at all drives me crazy….

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But it’s perfectly Lord Dudley Mountcatten sized and he loves it …

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So it stays. Sigh.

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Can someone please explain this to me…. because honestly, I’m flummoxed. Who in their right mind craves alcohol free gin?

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Live your best life… without alcohol? People really do be crazy.

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Why am I posting a photo of our water heater? Because the insanely expensive, fancy schmancy hybrid heat pump unit we installed barely 3 years ago is dead. After 2 visits from our plumber and one from the company’s rep, it was determined the computerized control board has malfunctioned. It’s a rarity, but once in a while you get a lemon. And we all know if there’s a lemon to be found? We will find it. Problem is, the boards are expensive and no one has them in stock.

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But along with the aggravation comes a new appreciation for why people only bathed once a month in olden days. Heating pots of water, and schlepping them to the tub is bad enough, but trying to duck in out of the cold shower spray long enough to wash and condition a head of long hair is torture. Maine well water in early spring? Like a quick dip in the Arctic Ocean…. minus the penguins. So if you happen to see me in the grocery store this week? Be sure and pass upwind. I haven’t showered in 3 days..

🤢

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One chill little dude.

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten is relaxed and finally feeling like this is home.

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He’s adjusting to our routine and no longer runs at loud noises.

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The vacuum cleaner is still regarded as an evil entity, but he’ll happily sit at my feet while I blow dry my hair.

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The living room furniture seems to be his favorite…

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And I have to say I’m a bit jealous at how much sound sleep he gets.

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Life is good for this little guy.

And us.

😊

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Catapalooza.

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The crazy cat lady Facebook algorithm is in full swing.

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Does my furniture require cat feet stockings?

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It most definitely does not.

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That goes the same for my feet….

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And my lips.

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Cat ear beret? Okay, I admit I could almost see myself wearing that.

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Is it me, or does this cat look like he’s plotting his owner’s slow and painful dismemberment?

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Unisex? On what planet….

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But there.

At least they got something right.

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