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Incorrect use of lobster.

32 Comments

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I live in Maine, Land of Lobster. We catch it, we eat it, we export it, we celebrate it with festivals. Hell, we’ve built an entire tourist industry around it.

The one thing we don’t do with it? Relieve menstrual cramps.

Yet someone, somewhere thought they should.

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Meet the Menstruation Crustacean.

Jesus wept.

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Lobsters are a lot of things…. long lived, bottom dwelling, quick swimming, and delicious in drawn butter.

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But cuddly?

Cuddly doesn’t make the top ten.

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Yes, this lobster abomination can hold tampons in its claws.

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Something I have to admit I’ve never seen ours do.

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32 thoughts on “Incorrect use of lobster.”

  4. Poor lobsters. All they want is to live their lives in peace at the bottom of the ocean. Like us, they don’t want to eaten by anyone, They don’t understand the “food chain,” the “eat or be eaten” nature of Nature. If you are going to use a lobster for your menstrual issues, at least use a real one. It may not smell like lavender, but lavender is for old ladies. If you are having menstrual issues, you are not old yet, are you!

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    1. You don’t have to understand the food chain to be part of it. I don’t presume to know the mind of a crustacean, but I do know they eat all kinds of things, including other lobsters.
      Lavender is a very useful plant, which is helpful as a remedy for a number of physical and psychological issues, like the burning rage that comes whenever that special time unleashes its bloody torrent. Thank you lavender, I may well owe you my life.

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