.
I live in Maine, Land of Lobster. We catch it, we eat it, we export it, we celebrate it with festivals. Hell, we’ve built an entire tourist industry around it.
The one thing we don’t do with it? Relieve menstrual cramps.
Yet someone, somewhere thought they should.
.
.
Meet the Menstruation Crustacean.
Jesus wept.
.
.
Lobsters are a lot of things…. long lived, bottom dwelling, quick swimming, and delicious in drawn butter.
.
.
But cuddly?
Cuddly doesn’t make the top ten.
.
.
Yes, this lobster abomination can hold tampons in its claws.
.
.
Something I have to admit I’ve never seen ours do.
.
River's world..... 
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I thought you had that looked at…
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You keep saying that….
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And yet you keep doing it….
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because you keep saying it.
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Because you keep doing it.
It’s a vicious circle…
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……..but but but……….it’s so much FUN!!
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I know, I know…..fun is subjective….
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Don’t knock a product unless you have tried it—have you used THIS lobster?!?!?!?
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I have not. Nor will I.
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What the hell!?!
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I have no idea.
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Poor lobsters. All they want is to live their lives in peace at the bottom of the ocean. Like us, they don’t want to eaten by anyone, They don’t understand the “food chain,” the “eat or be eaten” nature of Nature. If you are going to use a lobster for your menstrual issues, at least use a real one. It may not smell like lavender, but lavender is for old ladies. If you are having menstrual issues, you are not old yet, are you!
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You don’t have to understand the food chain to be part of it. I don’t presume to know the mind of a crustacean, but I do know they eat all kinds of things, including other lobsters.
Lavender is a very useful plant, which is helpful as a remedy for a number of physical and psychological issues, like the burning rage that comes whenever that special time unleashes its bloody torrent. Thank you lavender, I may well owe you my life.
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Just trying to make life humourous. No insults intended to anything or anyone.
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Good, I’m glad.
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I’ve loved lobster all my life but came up allergic 7 years ago. They’re safe from me…
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Lol. 1 down, 8 billion to go!
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My life is complete now. Thank you.
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You’re quite welcome.
😉
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Huh. And with that comment I’ll mosey on my way.
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Can’t say I blame you…
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Lobsters look more like they’re able to cause pain than relieve it, but I’m glad this one at least is soft enough to be a lap pillow.
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It’s not the first creature I think of when I need soothing… but clearly some one did.
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At times, my wife is more crabby than lobstery, but I won’t carp because she’s usually an angelfish.
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Oh for heaven’s hake. Cod you be any more roe-mantic? You found the gill of your dreams.
😉
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Glad I don’t have to deal with That anymore, but if I did, I would probably at least try it to help. I remember the pain!…
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I don’t either. But I doubt a lobster would have been the first thing I reached for…
🥴
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Those days are far behind me but do you suppose there’s a Constipation Crab somewhere out there? Eau de dark chocolate scented of course.
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Perish the thought, but there probably is.
🥴
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A crab might not be the right bottom-feeder, you’d probably be better off with an octopus or sea-snail.
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Classic case of somebody coming up with a catchy name and then inventing the product around that.
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