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Crayons and coloring books. The quintessential accessories of an innocent childhood.
Or not.
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I ask you, does anyone really need Penis Pump Periwinkle?
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This has got to be one of the weirdest things I’ve seen in a while… and I just posted about the Poop Strap.
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Everything is a dildo? I beg to differ….
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Anal Bleach Apricot?
I never colored my fruit trees with that when I was young.
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I’m blaming the high tech toaster I received for Christmas on the first two ridiculous products that showed up on my feed.
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A smiling toast lamp? Jesus wept…
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And if I don’t want toast lighting my way to the bathroom, I certainly don’t need toast warming my hands either.
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Stickers on my eyelids? Just… no.
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Let me guess… when the water level is at half, I’ve drunk half the water? Brilliant. I never would have figured that out on my own.
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In my continued attempt to cover my readers in sartorial splendor, I bring you the Overgrown shoe.
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For those days when you’re feeling a little grassy and unkept.
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Because dressing with dirt must be trending.
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A special shoebox? Well damn, that should seal the deal.
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But if you do need them? You know who to thank…
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I don’t need this dangling from my tree, but if you do? I’ll try not to judge.
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I love me some chickens, but Santa rooster bowling shirt? Pass.
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Though I admit this one does makes a statement.
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Is this a thing? Have I missed yet another trend….
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Saw this in Wal Mart but did not make the mistake of pressing the button.
Nope. Not me.
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Heck, you’ll never need these things…. who am I kidding.
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This is such a stupid useless item, the only thing they could think to put on it is plastic Easter eggs.
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Even the cat is unpleased by this idea.
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Huh?
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I’m glad they showed someone demonstrating this ridiculous product. The fact that’s she’s feeding brass geese adds to the authenticity.
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And just in case you need a larger pot, because sometimes size matters…
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😳
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Every time I see a ridiculous advertisement for poop themed merchandise I think… this can’t be real.
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Then I do a little research and realize how feces obsessed this nation has become.
( Is it me or does that turd look like an extremely excited brown gherkin?)
And if the original singular flying excrement wasn’t bad enough….
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Now there are three.
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One of which is looking quite smug.
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“Because there’s nothing funnier than poop!”
I beg to differ.
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Every once in a while I cruise Etsy because they have some wonderfully creative things. Some are useful….
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(Though a few decades late for me.)
Some are… not.
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Personally I don’t feel the need for a human dog bed…
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But if you do? Know that I am rolling my eyes at the thought of you sitting in that giant floor pillow… and so is your dog.
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This was kind of cute until I read what it was for.
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Dermatillomania is an obsessive skin picking disorder, and judging from the bestseller status of this product… it’s more common that I thought.
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This.
For when you really want to feel like you’re sitting on the throne.
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Just when I think I’ve seen every silly product ever made? This.
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I never realized ducks were such deep thinkers.
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I also never knew you could own one and plug him in.
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And now you know as well. You can thank me later….
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Why is everyone so obsessed with poop these days?
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How bad do you have to be to find one of those in your Christmas stocking?
Yes, the classic emoji has its uses …
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But does it need to be flung in a mini slingshot? No. Even with the added incentive of 3 free flying feces.
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Thanks for clearing up the fake versus real controversy. Those outstretched arms and googly eyes might have come from Uncle Harold’s commode. He always was an odd duck.
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I’m going to go out on a limb and say English is not the ad copy writer’s first language. But hey… poop is universal.
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I have a shelf full of cookbooks I never use. Some are low calorie, some are comfort food, some are Italian, some are French. None of them however, are from Sing Sing.
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With all due respect to Goose, I think I’ll pass.
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Do I need to play Bingo with various shaped feces?
I do not. Nope. Not ever.
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If someone gave me this? I would probably do just the opposite and lob it at their head.
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Now where was this when I was young? Talk about missed opportunities. Damn.
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And finally, something for Mark, aka Swinged Cat, aka Madtown Migrant, aka Mark My Words…. who, for some unfathomable reason likes to eat this canned abomination. Throw them with abandon my friend. Personally, I’d rather eat the dice.
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River's world..... 