Tag Archives: stupid products

Explanation needed.

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Advertisers will tell you anything to get you to purchase their products, no matter how ridiculous the claim.

Take this one for example….

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Self cleaning sheets.

Please explain how that’s going to work…. because I’m sure a lot of rent by the hour motels would be interested.

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Hip therapy?

I’m sorry, but that looks more like a leather chastity belt to me.

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Someone thought these were a good idea…

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Do I love a good baked potato? Of course… please pass the butter. But do I need someone’s face on my tater?

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I definitely do not.

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Best gift ever? Clearly some people don’t know how to shop.

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Whaaaat?

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Let’s wrap our minds around the idea of someone actually applying for a patent for water soluble panties in a can.

🥴

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They’re right. I love cats… but I do not love that. Not even close.

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Do you need one of these?

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Because I know I don’t.

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Lately the man cave/Barn Mahal has been our money sucking box….

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But I agree, that one is much creepier.

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Okay, I admit a yodeling pickle might be a nice screaming goat accompaniment at our bar… but I restrained myself from ordering one.

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Yeah. I can do without that as well.

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Sorry, but there’s not a board game on earth that would make me want to eat my husband’s Uncle Donny.

Nope.

Not happening.

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Things I will never need.

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Would I like a Hermès bag? Sure.

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Would I like a Hermès bag made from fungus? Oddly enough, I would not.

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Say it isn’t so. Good grief… the model doesn’t even look happy.

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On a list of ridiculous things no one needs? This has got to be in the top 5.

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$1,000 a pair!

You might as well wear a sign that says “Yes, I’m a moron. Thanks for noticing”

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Someone thought these were a good idea.

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Miniaturized weaponry?

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Sure, what could go wrong. And advertised for use in school? Even better… though something tells me the teachers Union might not be on board.

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Chin fat? Even if I had it, I doubt I’d be wearing this chamber of horrors device. Why does that woman look happy wearing what amounts to a facial fireplace….

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Good grief. I get enough animal bites from an annoyed Lord Dudley Mountcatten, I don’t need ear nibbling Tyrannosauruses.

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Things I will never need.

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There are times when I run across items that beg the question… why?

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Yeah, we’ve all had a crappy year… but squishing plastic rainbow colored excrement isn’t the solution.

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Let me get this straight, good behavior is rewarded with…. poop? New age parenting is truly beyond my comprehension.

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I like wine. I like butter. I do not think I’d like canned butter wine.

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Is it? Is it really….

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Just… no. I don’t want my toothpaste dispensed from anyone’s butt, giant green ogre or otherwise.

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Products no one needs.

 

I know we’ve all become lazy housebound sods who can’t be bothered to put on pants during the pandemic, but this?

 

 

This is a bridge too far.

The day I’m too lazy to stir my own pan you have permission to slit my throat, fill it with kale and put me out of my misery.

And while I’m all for cocktails?

 

 

 

I have absolutely no intention of sharing my margaritas with llamas.

Nope.

Not happening.

 

 

 

Oh, yeah.

Kitty Hitler looks positively thrilled.

 

 

 

Let’s ponder this for a moment.

Someone thought about, invented, pitched, found investment capital and marketed….. a hammock for fish.

Is this a great country or what!

And finally…. when your dog no longer needs his collar of shame?

 

 

Viola!

You can re-purpose it in the kitchen.

You’re welcome.

Because it’s my job.

 

Bringing weird and not so wonderful products to my reader’s attention.

It’s what I do.

 

 

And I know you wouldn’t want to miss an opportunity to have one of these for your very own, so…

 

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Yes.

It’s a onesie that’s also a seat.

How can you go wrong?

No more standing for endless hours at your kid’s soccer game. No more shuffling on sore feet while waiting on line at the DMV.

There’s a stupid product made just for you.

And a stupid video to accompany it.

 

 

 

Admit it…

You want one.

Do you need one of these?

 

Stupid products. They’re everywhere…

Even here.

 

 

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I heard you. You think gas filters aren’t stupid?

Well, this one is for your butt.

 

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The bad part of a fart?

Pray tell, what exactly is the good part…

 

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For those of you who were looking for the perfect stocking stuffer for Xmas this year?

 

 

Next… no tie shoelaces.

 

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Because yes, apparently we really are that lazy.

 

 

 

On first glance this looked promising….

 

 

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Until I remembered the best thing about making S’mores on a campfire is that you don’t have to clean up anything.

Can you imagine the mess that contraption would make in your oven? Melted chocolate and gooey marshmallow crystallizing and baking onto the racks?

 

 

 

Finally, I admit this last stupid product has infinite potential.

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Now call me crazy, but a gentle reminder to change the toilet paper is not the first thing that came to mind when I thought of recording a message.

No…

I want more bang for my buck and was thinking more along the lines of the Tidy Bowl Man yelling  “Incoming!”….. or an upper class British accent begging you not to make a second trip to the buffet at Taco Loco.

 

 

As I said, infinite possibilities.