Because laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
You knew it had to happen.
Pumpkin spice is everywhere….
Though I’m ashamed to admit I’m old enough to remember those.
All things considered?
Not bad Jen.
At this point, falling through a giant hole in the ground would be preferable to grocery shopping.
She really is.
Momma needs a cocktail. Don’t judge.
Please let me know how these work.
I hope so…
But it’s not looking good.
Because laughter is the only contagious thing I want to catch.
That sounds about right.
We really didn’t….
I’m all for this.
As hard as lock down has been, there are some people I’ve been quite happy to avoid.
I could totally rock that look.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it with the conspiracy theorists.
That’s so wrong.
A pandemic symptom I can totally relate to.
Which brings me to the new anthem for the Covid age.
Sing it sister!
This is the way we’ve been spending most of our evenings during the summer of Covid-19.
Barn porch sitting with an adult beverage…. or two.
Sometimes there’s a sunset.
The deer usually wander up for a treat.
And bark at us if we’re spotted.
Which, all things considered… is pretty frickin’ rude.
We are the treat suppliers after all.
I don’t need a formal thank you note, but a little common courtesy would be nice.
I know we’ve all become lazy housebound sods who can’t be bothered to put on pants during the pandemic, but this?
This is a bridge too far.
The day I’m too lazy to stir my own pan you have permission to slit my throat, fill it with kale and put me out of my misery.
And while I’m all for cocktails?
I have absolutely no intention of sharing my margaritas with llamas.
Kitty Hitler looks positively thrilled.
Let’s ponder this for a moment.
Someone thought about, invented, pitched, found investment capital and marketed….. a hammock for fish.
Is this a great country or what!
And finally…. when your dog no longer needs his collar of shame?
You can re-purpose it in the kitchen.
Flipping through O magazine the other day (I get it free, don’t judge) I realized Oprah and I disagree about a few things.
Most importantly, her list of must have items.
She might find these necessary and affordable, but I don’t.
Seriously? Bragging about your house manager Eddie and his cocktail mixing prowess is bad form. Especially when we peons are occasionally forced to drink cocktails from can.
Let’s forget the revolting sounding ‘flavor capsule’…. why in the world would I pay $350 to have a machine mix my drink.
My local pub’s bartender does a fine job and he never expects that big a tip.
$70 for a bottle.
To put alcohol and fruit in.
Call me classy, but a mason jar works just as well for a lot less.
$195 so my selfies can be better lighted?
I’m 55 and menopausal. No one wants to see that any more clearly than they already have.
Oprah redeemed herself slightly with this last pick.
It’s been a while since I shopped at Talbots, but I could probably rock a pair of these.
Does anyone need a banana phone?
But buy one and save a gorilla just the same.
A must for Star Wars fanatics.
Yes James, I’m talking to you.
On a stick.
Need I say more?
I’m not sure my bar game could possibly be more up, but bottles of gin are definitely my favorite DIY.
While I take umbrage at the horrible people designation (I’ve always thought of myself as just slightly awful) this is one seriously
bawdy, provocative, risqué fun party game.
Does it surprise you to know I have all 6 expansion packs?
So if you like
raunchy, crude, earthy blue humor?
Give it a try.
Hello my name is River, and I’m an addict.
A cell phone addict.
I always have my cell phone.
In my purse, in my pocket, in my hand. It’s rarely more than 10 feet away from me at any given time…. which drives the husband crazy. (This could be because he’s always doing something photo worthy, but that’s another blog entirely.)
The other day as I was sitting on the barn porch with a book and a cheaters bottled cocktail…..
A fly had the audacity to do the backstroke in my margarita.
This will not be tolerated, so after removing the thirsty Esther Williams wannabe?
My cell phone saved the day….
And the rest of my
I still don’t feel comfortable going to our local pub for a real one margarita.
Reason #56 why you should always have your cell phone nearby – cocktail fly blocking.
Have I mentioned how much I love the baby woodchucks?
If not, get used to it… because I’ve been spending a lot of time making friends with them.
I’ve found sliced apples are a great ice breaker.
And if I’m enjoying a little Crown Royal apple while making woodchuck friends… all the better.
It took a while for them to get used to me and they were pretty hesitant to come out with me so close.
But the lure of apples proved too much.
That’s pretty damned cute.
Call me crazy, but I doubt this chicka is beating the men off with a stick.
Do I need to feel like Judy Jetson when I dispose of that slightly blue, mold covered cucumber that got pushed to the back of the crisper drawer?
I do not.
Again with the space age crap. If I don’t know what year it is when I wake up?
I need to stop drinking, not buy a new clock.
Oh, yeah. These are sexy.
Perhaps she can double date with that hot Trekkie at the top.
I’m pretty sure if I ever find myself there, writing a grocery list or a thank you note won’t be my top priority.
And while I don’t need a dehydration light to flash in my water bottle…. this product might have adult beverage applications.
“Drink! You’re starting to sober up!”
I’d buy that.
Since the baby barn has been hogging all the attention lately, let me reintroduce you to my favorite spot to spend late afternoons.
Comfortable furniture, blooming pretties, a good book and a cocktail.
Lowers my blood pressure just thinking about it.
I planted this garden bed two weeks ago, took a picture and realized there’s a hole.
Damn… another trip to the nursery will be necessary.
Big barn dwarfs baby barn.
And it’s where you can find me most evenings in the summer, surveying my domain.