Tag Archives: cocktails

I beg to differ Oprah.

 

Flipping through O magazine the other day  (I get it free, don’t judge)  I realized Oprah and I disagree about a few things.

Most importantly, her list of must have items.

She might find these necessary and affordable, but I don’t.

 

 

Seriously? Bragging about your house manager Eddie and his cocktail mixing prowess is bad form. Especially when we peons are occasionally forced to drink cocktails from can.

Let’s forget the revolting sounding ‘flavor capsule’….  why in the world would I pay $350 to have a machine mix my drink.

My local pub’s bartender does a fine job and he never expects that big a tip.

 

 

$70 for a bottle.

To put alcohol and fruit in.

Call me classy, but a mason jar works just as well for a lot less.

 

 

Good grief.

$195 so my selfies can be better lighted?

I’m 55 and menopausal. No one wants to see that any more clearly than they already have.

Oprah redeemed herself slightly with this last pick.

It’s been a while since I shopped at Talbots, but I could probably rock a pair of these.

 

 

Cheers!

Products worth a second look.

 

 

 

Does anyone need a banana phone?

No.

But buy one and save a gorilla just the same.

 

 

 

A must for Star Wars fanatics.

Yes James,  I’m talking to you.

 

 

 

Cake.

On a stick.

Need I say more?

 

 

I’m not sure my bar game could possibly be more up, but bottles of gin are definitely my favorite DIY.

 

 

While I take umbrage at the horrible people designation (I’ve always thought of myself as just slightly awful) this is one seriously  bawdy, provocative, risqué  fun party game.

Does it surprise you to know I have all 6 expansion packs?

 

 

It shouldn’t.

So if you like  raunchy, crude, earthy  blue humor?

Give it a try.

Reason #56 why you should always have your cell phone nearby.

 

Hello my name is River, and I’m an addict.

A cell phone addict.

I always have my cell phone.

In my purse, in my pocket, in my hand. It’s rarely more than 10 feet away from me at any given time…. which drives the husband crazy.  (This could be because he’s always doing something photo worthy, but that’s another blog entirely.)

The other day as I was sitting on the barn porch with a book and a cheaters bottled cocktail…..

 

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A fly had the audacity to do the backstroke in my margarita.

 

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This will not be tolerated, so after removing the thirsty Esther Williams wannabe?

My cell phone saved the day….

 

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And the rest of my  I still don’t feel comfortable going to our local pub for a real one  margarita.

Reason #56 why you should always have your cell phone nearby – cocktail fly blocking.

You’re welcome.

 

Making friends.

 

Have I mentioned how much I love the baby woodchucks?

If not, get used to it… because I’ve been spending a lot of time making friends with them.

 

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I’ve found sliced apples are a great ice breaker.

 

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And if I’m enjoying a little Crown Royal apple while making woodchuck friends… all the better.

 

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It took a while for them to get used to me and they were pretty hesitant to come out with me so close.

 

 

But the lure of apples proved too much.

 

 

 

Admit it.

That’s pretty damned cute.

Stupid products.

 

They’re everywhere.

 

 

 

Call me crazy, but I doubt this chicka is beating the men off with a stick.

 

Do I need to feel like Judy Jetson when I dispose of that slightly blue, mold covered cucumber that got pushed to the back of the crisper drawer?

No.

I do not.

 

 

Again with the space age crap. If I don’t know what year it is when I wake up?

I need to stop drinking, not buy a new clock.

 

 

Oh, yeah. These are sexy.

Perhaps she can double date with that hot Trekkie at the top.

 

 

Zero gravity?

I’m pretty sure if I ever find myself there, writing a grocery list or a thank you note won’t be my top priority.

 

 

And while I don’t need a dehydration light to flash in my water bottle…. this product might have adult beverage applications.

“Drink! You’re starting to sober up!”

Okay.

I’d buy that.

Because big barn needs a little time in the spotlight now and then.

 

 

 

Since the baby barn has been hogging all the attention lately, let me reintroduce you to my favorite spot to spend late afternoons.

 

 

Comfortable furniture, blooming pretties, a good book and a cocktail.

Lowers my blood pressure just thinking about it.

 

 

I planted this garden bed two weeks ago, took a picture and realized there’s a hole.

Damn… another trip to the nursery will be necessary.

How awful.

😈

 

 

Big barn dwarfs baby barn.

 

 

And it’s where you can find me most evenings in the summer, surveying my domain.

 

 

Cheers!

Sunrise, pandemic rocks, great ideas and dirty birds.

 

A post of random trivial things that aren’t worthy of their own blog.

First, a sunrise photo a friend of mine took the other day.

 

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She lives on a lake…. and I have to say that looks like a pretty sweet way to wake up.

Rocks?

Don’t mind if I do.

The Covid 19 versions someone cleverly painted.

 

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Brilliant ideas?

Yes, they’re still out there.

 

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See?

I found one.

These days social distancing is more important then ever….. so let’s commend those who go the extra mile.

 

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What?

She doesn’t know where that bird has been.

 

 

 

 

Strange products are back.

 

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Unless it’s in a rent by the hour hot sheet motel? I don’t think anyone needs their bed to vibrate.

 

 

Just…. no.

If I’m not willing to eat kale? ( and I think we’ve established I’d rather have my toenails ripped off by a hungry wombat ) I doubt I’ll be spreading it on my face any time soon.

 

 

 

Well this is ridiculous.

Leftover chocolate. What’s that?

 

 

 

Proof positive there are a limitless number of kitchen gadgets waiting to collect dust in your cabinet.

Move over avocado hugger and ice cream ball. Spaetzle maker is in da house.

 

 

I have no idea if this works or not, but may I just say?

Eww.

 

 

 

 

When I first saw this I thought… nope, I’ll pass on the motivational self help crap.

Until I realized it could be filled with G&T’s or margaritas.

1:00pm took on a whole new meaning then.