Tag Archives: algorithms

Art I most definitely do not need.

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One little picture of Dudley on Facebook. That’s all it took for the Catopia algorithm to switch into high gear. And today? Unfortunately it’s bathroom themed.

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Yikes.

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Not anymore, no. Although thanks to Covid and an injured knee…. there is a whole lot more of it.

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Wow.

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I’d say this poster is a little cheeky, but that’s a tad too on point.

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If Dudley wanders in and hands me the toilet paper? I’m totally ditching Facebook.

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Dudley does not need a spaceship.

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Yes, this really is a thing.

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And they’re not exactly giving them away either.

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Dudley also doesn’t need a scratcher that looks like a sardine can.

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I mean, Christ…. look what happened to this poor cat when he used it.

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No thank you annoying Facebook algorithm, Dudley will live quite happily without this as well.

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I’m sure the cat in the advertisement would much rather have had a bowl of tuna.

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And will be pooping in his parents slippers as soon as they go to sleep tonight.

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I knew I shouldn’t have, but I did it anyway.

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I clicked on the video.

But in my defense…. how could I not? It had a talking ass that wasn’t a politician. That’s a rare thing these days.

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I knew it would be bad, I knew! But I clicked on it anyway… and boy, I wasn’t wrong.

There were directions.

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And the aforementioned chatty butt holes.

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(Who dreams up these things?)

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They were quite explicit about where the offending odors originate.

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But by the time I reached this part of the video?

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I had to turn it off. With the knowledge that I’ve doomed myself to a slew of bizarre Facebook ads for months to come.

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What fresh Hell is this?

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Lately Facebook’s algorithms have given me non stop ball wash and butt deodorant. I have no idea why …. as I don’t have balls or need to perfume my ass.

But this?

This is definitely a bridge too far.

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Tofu!

For the love of all that’s holy…. no.

I don’t eat it.

I won’t eat it.

And you can’t make me eat it.

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A more disgusting thing to put in my mouth I have never met.

And that’s saying something.

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Catapalooza.

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The crazy cat lady Facebook algorithm is in full swing.

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Does my furniture require cat feet stockings?

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It most definitely does not.

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That goes the same for my feet….

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And my lips.

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Cat ear beret? Okay, I admit I could almost see myself wearing that.

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Is it me, or does this cat look like he’s plotting his owner’s slow and painful dismemberment?

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Unisex? On what planet….

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But there.

At least they got something right.

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Good grief!

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You upload one little photo of your new family member to Facebook.

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Just one, to show everyone how sweet he is…. and that damn algorithm kicks into high gear.

Now, along with the constant ball wash and toilet incense ads?

I’m getting these:

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Cat butt pillow cases?

No.

I love our new little furry friend…. but have absolutely no desire to slip off into dreamland with my face on his ass crack.

One feline does not a crazy cat lady make.

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Things I will not be giving my husband for Valentines Day this year.

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Have you ever looked at ads for products and thought, that can’t be real?

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Jerky flower bouquets for the special man in your life?

No way.

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Way.

And they’re not exactly giving them away either.

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The Ball Hammock.

Yes, my Facebook algorithm is back to its old tricks just in time for the holiday. Will I be buying my husband a rocket to put in his pants?

No.

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I will not be asking him to release the Kraken either.

Well, not that one anyway.

And finally the last gift I won’t be buying him…

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Ball therapy.

Just…. no.

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