Tag Archives: algorithms

Bite me Duluth Trading…

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I knew when I clicked that stupid disembodied nostril Duluth Trading Company ad for underwear the other day I would regret it. I knew it… and I did it anyway for the sake of a blog laugh.

Now, I pay the price.

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Yes, the algorithms have kicked in with a vengeance.

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I know that particular item is meant for your shoes to provide traction in the snow, but admit it. You visualized the same kinky S&M corset I did on first glance too … right?

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Unless you need a gift for Tiny Tim’s grandson, I can find no reasonable explanation for that product.

And finally after all those bombs, I saw something I would actually consider buying.

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A chicken flicker.

It’s like darts, with poultry. Perfect!

I was picturing hours of slightly intoxicated fun in the man cave and then…

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Way to go Duluth.

Teasing a girl with competitive chicken tossing and then not delivering is just cruel.

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Random clutter

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If you and your sweetie are looking for something oh so precious to wear for Thanksgiving this year?

Look no further.

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Now isn’t that just special?

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My attempts to channel a porcupine acupuncture treatments continue, and though my improvement seems to have slowed, it can still get colorful.

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Do you have a cat that chases the sun from room to room?

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We do.

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And last but most assuredly least, the newest treasure my crazy FB algorithm has dropped on my feed.

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I’m not sure what disturbs me more… the Funk No moniker, or the free floating disembodied nostrils.

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Well yes, there’s that as well.

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Right and wrong.

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Most of the time my Facebook ads get it wrong.

I don’t need ball wash soap or help with a bigger orgasm. I also don’t need ball hammock underwear, yet the hits just keep on coming. The latest is Halloween themed… and so very, very wrong.

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Do I need to see Frankenstein gettin’ his freak on? I most certainly do not.

But every once in a while, the algorithm hits a bit closer to the mark.

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And horrible grammatical translation aside, at least this one includes alcohol….with undertones of barn bar which we all know is near and dear to my heart.

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Art I most definitely do not need.

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One little picture of Dudley on Facebook. That’s all it took for the Catopia algorithm to switch into high gear. And today? Unfortunately it’s bathroom themed.

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Yikes.

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Not anymore, no. Although thanks to Covid and an injured knee…. there is a whole lot more of it.

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Wow.

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I’d say this poster is a little cheeky, but that’s a tad too on point.

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If Dudley wanders in and hands me the toilet paper? I’m totally ditching Facebook.

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Dudley does not need a spaceship.

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Yes, this really is a thing.

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And they’re not exactly giving them away either.

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Dudley also doesn’t need a scratcher that looks like a sardine can.

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I mean, Christ…. look what happened to this poor cat when he used it.

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No thank you annoying Facebook algorithm, Dudley will live quite happily without this as well.

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I’m sure the cat in the advertisement would much rather have had a bowl of tuna.

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And will be pooping in his parents slippers as soon as they go to sleep tonight.

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I knew I shouldn’t have, but I did it anyway.

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I clicked on the video.

But in my defense…. how could I not? It had a talking ass that wasn’t a politician. That’s a rare thing these days.

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I knew it would be bad, I knew! But I clicked on it anyway… and boy, I wasn’t wrong.

There were directions.

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And the aforementioned chatty butt holes.

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(Who dreams up these things?)

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They were quite explicit about where the offending odors originate.

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But by the time I reached this part of the video?

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I had to turn it off. With the knowledge that I’ve doomed myself to a slew of bizarre Facebook ads for months to come.

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What fresh Hell is this?

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Lately Facebook’s algorithms have given me non stop ball wash and butt deodorant. I have no idea why …. as I don’t have balls or need to perfume my ass.

But this?

This is definitely a bridge too far.

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Tofu!

For the love of all that’s holy…. no.

I don’t eat it.

I won’t eat it.

And you can’t make me eat it.

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A more disgusting thing to put in my mouth I have never met.

And that’s saying something.

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