westerns | River's world…..

For the last 39 years I’ve lived with old westerns playing in the background of my life. The husband loves them and they’ve been his go to when he has nothing specific in mind to watch on tv for the almost 4 decades we’ve been together.

He loves old western movies with John Wayne and Gary Cooper and Henry Fonda.

He loves old western television series like The Rifleman and Tales of Wells Fargo and the Virginian.

Me? I hate them all. Always have and thought I always would.

Until I started watching Yellowstone, which I really don’t consider a western, and liked it so much I had to subscribe to Paramount Plus so I could watch 1883… which most definitely is a western.

Yup. An honest to God western complete with cowboys, a wagon train, bandits, buffalo, Indians and some breathtaking views of what the Great Plains once was.

I loved it all.

The acting was surprisingly good and Sam Elliot made me cry. Who woulda thunk it! This show is a love story… to the west and a way of life long gone. It has a gravitas that grabbed me and didn’t let go.

I binged, and when it ended? I wished for another 30 episodes.

Me. Wanting more of a western. Somewhere… pigs are flying.

Starring Tim McGraw and an almost unrecognizable Faith Hill…

With cameos by Tom Hanks, Billy Bob Thornton and Graham Greene… it’s newcomer Isabel May who narrates it’s heart.

Her voice can be haunting, and with the right swell of music laid on top of glorious cinematography?

Trust me, it’s a winner.

They say there’s a little boy in every man….. and if that’s true?

Mine is playing cowboys and Indians.

Left to his own devices, my husband could easily watch the western channel 24 hours a day. I know…. because True Grit, Fort Apache and Rio Bravo have been the background soundtrack to my life for the past 36 years.

He likes westerns, ergo he likes John Wayne.

Not as a real person, he neither knows nor cares who that was….. but rather as an idealized portrait of what a real man is supposed to be. At least on screen.

So when we went to Lowes the other day and were standing on the check out line? You know he had to grab this:

“Manly meals”.

I’m sure you can hear my eyes rolling from there.

Who knew my husband wanted to be a cookout legend?

The man who has never read a recipe in his life, but had to buy this book. And may I just say?

I was not impressed.

That is the saddest excuse for steak I’ve ever seen. And with pesto made from cilantro as an accompaniment? The Duke and his horse should be run out of town with their heads hanging down in shame.

Now correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Texas do everything up big?

If so, these are misnamed…. because those are the skimpiest, most pathetic tacos to ever grace a shell.

And I’m from Maine.

We fill our tacos with haddock and lobster… what do we know?

I’ll spare you the Gun Smokey Barbecue Chicken and the Ringo Kid’s Skirt Steak, but suffice it to say I doubt any of Wayne’s dishes will ever make it to our table.

And now, because this is my blog and you know I can’t help myself…. here’s one final picture of the quintessential manly man.

You can thank me later.

john-waynes-camel-toe