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Going out on a limb…. part 4.

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What is it they say? In for a penny, in for a pound. If you read  this blog I wrote a week or so ago about a strange incident with my father’s antique clock…. and if you didn’t think I was a total nutcase, please continue and blame Swinged Cat .

He asked me to share my weird experiences a while back and that means telling stories from one of the worst times in my life, the death of my mother. So here’s another of the odd moments in my life I can’t explain.

Tick Tock….

Added: Tuesday, July 8th 2014 at 4:40am by rivergirl

As horrible as the passing of my mother was, there were a few moments I will treasure….for very different reasons. And if you don’t mind, I’d like to share them here.

When we moved her from the hospital to hospice, she was in pain…but awake and relatively alert. It was a lovely place and I had visions of spending time with her in the gardens listening to the birds…

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Sadly, that wasn’t to be as the cancer was too far advanced. Her decline was so rapid, strong medication was required.

After the first night of listening to her cry in pain, I gave the okay for maximum morphine. She rested more easily, but was so heavily doped up she was unaware of her surroundings. The gardens and peaceful sculptures turning gently in the breeze were more for me… and this lonely bench near the woods became my salvation when things got too heavy to bear.

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I went to her room the next morning loaded with flowers, framed photographs and personal items to brighten her space. But again…. she was unaware.

I stroked her brow, held her hand, and told her I loved her.

Nothing.

In the 5 days she was there, she only spoke once.

“Whose clock is that? I hear ticking.”

I was confused, as there were no clocks in the room. It meant nothing to me at the time. Just the gibberish of a heavily morphined mind.

Or was it?

Those of you who know me, know I am not a religious person. The hypocrisy of the modern church makes me cringe. And when the hospice staff asked me if I wanted a priest to sit with me, I said no. The thought of the black crow of death hovering over me spilling platitudes did not give me the least bit of solace.

So imagine my surprise when a quiet, unassuming lesbian chaplain became my confident during our stay. She listened, she consoled… she was there. We spoke of many things…least of all religion. I ended up spilling my entire history with my mother to her and felt a giant weight lift from my shoulders. They say that the right people come into your life at the right times…. that statement doesn’t seem so trite to me now.

She told me she believed that everyone has someone who helps them pass over. And it eased my mind to think that my father was waiting for my mother at the end of her journey.

She asked me if my mother had spoken and I related that one meaningless phrase.

Her eyes got wide, she bowed her head and then just stared at me. I couldn’t figure out what I was missing…. until she reminded me of the story I had told her the day before. The one about my father’s broken clock ticking after 29 years of silence.

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Make of it what you will…. but that lovely little woman held my hand and said she knew it was my father’s way of saying he was there. Waiting.

Tick, tock.

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41 thoughts on “Going out on a limb…. part 4.”

  2. I agree the right people come into your life when you need them. I think the chaplain was right about how everyone has someone who helps them pass over. And the clock, your father’s clock, what a symbol of that happening. Touching story

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  3. This reminds me of what happened with my grandmother. Not long before she passed, I went to see her one last time. At that point she was in and out of consciousness. Mostly out. As I was sitting there with my mom and an aunt, my grandmother started reaching out in front of her and saying, “Bob! Bob!” That was my grandfather. One of the hospice nurses said that people getting ready to pass over often call out loved one’s names who passed before them because they are there to meet them. I found that very comforting. I hope they were both there when my mom passed. She was too drugged up to have any final words. 😦

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  4. OMG I’m sitting at my desk at work getting ready for yet another half day budget meeting and I’m crying here. What a sweet and loving story River….I’m still crying and I turn completely red faced when I do..lol.

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  5. My mind immediately went to your father’s clock!

    I deeply believe in another side. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. And though I AM religious, I do not think that taints this belief for those who are not.

    The middle of my grandma’s story goes like this: when I spoke to my cousin Susan the day after Grandma died, she said she woke up around 1 am, and the birds were singing wildly where she lives five miles away from where Grandma passed.

    There is an end, but it gets a bit weird…

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  6. That really nice and I do hope I find the same sort of person to help,when the time arrives. At one point after the passing of my Aunt Violet, people were sitting round the kitchen table – someone mentioned her hatred of oranges. At that point the orange tumbled out of the fruit bowl. Obviously piled too high, but still !

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  7. I’m not a fan of anything religious either, but I have found the hospital/hospice clergy to be very caring and supportive every time I have interacted with them during a crisis or passing of a loved one.
    Thank you for sharing this touching encounter.

    Deb

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    1. Every single one of them was absolutely amazing. I asked one woman how they did it. Dealing with such overwhelming sadness and grief on a daily basis…. she told me being with people at the end of their lives was a privilege, and that she has witnessed some amazing things.

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  10. Fantastic story. Both my grandmother and my mother spoke of seeing deceased relatives just before they passed. My mom even saw her beloved Angus, a Scottish Terrier, scooting around the house (he died a year before she did). I am not religious, but it is a nice thought that people and pets are waiting to help you across when it’s your time.

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  12. I hope you will pardon me for being skeptical about a supernatural or out-of-this-world cause of the clock experiences. Nonetheless, I too was close to shedding a tear over what these experiences meant to you. Who am I to decry (pardon the bad pun, but when I was searching for the right word, I didn’t think of it as a pun) what good people honestly feel….even if it’s a bit weird.

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  15. I share your disdain for organized religion and don’t really believe it’s a necessity for an afterlife. That’s one thing I do believe in, because I have heard far too many stories similar to yours to discount it. And because I read your posts out of order and days apart, I’d forgotten about your grandfather’s ticking clock…so when I got to that part of your story, it was like a sudden reveal/plot twist in the best possible way! That’s simply amazing…and NO WAY is it a coincidence.

    Thank you so much for sharing these great stories. I’m HAPPY to take blame for them!

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  17. Omg. I love this story. I hate that you lost your mom to cancer. But to have that person with you when your mom passed away, was no accident.

    But I believe in all this kind of shenanigans.
    The religious BS? Nope. I’m with you on all of that.

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  20. What a beautiful story and not without tears. I lost my mom last November and felt I had no one by my side that understood. It felt good to read you had someone there to explain the meaning of tick tock. Again, what a beautiful well written story of your experience. I was touched.

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