Have you ever said to hell with it and just eaten the cookie?


I’ve been known to pepper my speech with the occasional four letter word… but by far, the worst one to ever cross my lips was diet.



I was a normal sized child, a small teenager and a slim but curvy young adult. 110 lbs when I married my husband, and though I would positively kill for that figure today? Nature got in the way.

I gained a little weight at 35, but no problem. I hardly noticed it.

I gained a little weight at 40, and okay.. maybe I went up a size (or two).

But then I had a hysterectomy at 52 and gained a whole lotta weight. Being forced into menopause wrecked me and my body was no longer my own. No matter what type of diet or exercise I tried, the weight stayed on.

Next up was Covid lockdown with my husband teleworking and me cooking 24/7, so yeah. Another 10lbs.

And if that wasn’t bad enough? I blew my knee out last October. Damaged my MCL and ended up with a deep root radial meniscal tear… the worst kind. The kind that doesn’t heal. The kind that keeps you off the treadmill and plonks you on the couch. 10 more pounds and I’ve just about lost the will to live. Yoga pants are my friend and my clothes are silently mocking me from the closet.

I’m tired.

Tired of being overweight.

Tired of Covid ruining our travel retirement plans.

Tired of killer knee pain every single day.

Tired of the ugliness in the world.

Tired of the political and cultural divide in this country.

But most of all?

I’m tired of diets.



So to Hell with it. I’m happily married and don’t need to impress anyone. My health is good despite the ##lbs I’ve put on since I hit 50.

So ya know what…?



I’m going to eat the cookie.



32 thoughts on “Have you ever said to hell with it and just eaten the cookie?”

  1. I laughed, snorted and laughed again. Not at you, okay because I’ve felt your pain. I had a hysterectomy at 44, but menopause wasn’t triggered thank goodness. But, I gain so much weight that by the time I was sick and tired of being overweight, I weighed in at 202 lbs. I went to go see a doctor who is now my PCP, and ran weeks of tests, and I do mean weeks. I was found to be insulin resistant, that was in 2018. I’m down to 149 and by far not a skinny girl, but I’ve embraced my curves…..I also embrace cookies and cake as well….🍰🍪🍩

    Liked by 4 people

      1. So many blood tests, one in particular, fasting plasma glucose blood test. I was put on the keto diet for three months, along with metformin and given an exercise schedule. That’s how I began to run, and watching what I eat. I was trained to learn how to eat well and exercise to keep my weight down.


      2. I had to stick to it, there was no way in hell I’ll ever let myself get to 202 lbs ever again. And diabetes runs on my moms side of the family, so many of my aunts and uncles have died young because they never took care of themselves. I do it for my boys, so that can set some sort of example of life without diabetes because it runs in their dads side of the family too, so it’s like a double whammy for them.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. By eating kale…just kidding. My doctor put me on a strict keto diet, I love bread and pasta so it was extremely hard for me at first. That’s when I also started to walk, then walking turned to running. I now eat as healthy as I can and don’t crave too much bread or pasta. It’s like retraining your brain, the bad part about the three months on keto was that I couldn’t have alcohol, that was almost a deal breaker.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s was only at the beginning. Now I eat what I want, in moderation that is and I can drink what I want when I want. Hence my couple of months before the home purchase I drank Kahlua straight out of the bottle…lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I started gaining at 5yrs old and only stopped recently, despite two gastric surgeries.

    Minus the knee pain and needing to lose weight to qual for surgery, I’ve accepted that my body/tastebuds prefer being fat. My life seemed great when I spent a few yrs as a size 8… till I recall how every waking moment was spent obsessing about how to burn every single calorie I consumed.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m okay with old… but I’ve always had slow metabolism. Prob no coincidence that my weight gain started when my sister was born… I’m guessing my mom fed me to shut me up. But I also don’t have “full” hormones.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Food = Good
    Good Food = Good Mood

    Food is one of the preeminent pleasures of life.
    It adds variety & spice to our days.

    If GOD came down and said to me that I could eat one little pill a day to be in perfect health at the perfect weight and NEVER be hungry or tired or in pain again but the catch was that I could . . . NEVER eat ANYTHING ever again.

    Nothing. Nada. Ever.
    Just one flavorless pill a day.
    That’s it.

    I’d say, “Thanks, but no thanks.”
    Without eating delicious food, what’s the point of sticking around?

    Sure, waterfalls are nice . . . just I like to picnic beside them.
    Movies are fun . . . but pass the popcorn.
    Parties peopled only by people and no food? No thanks!
    Holidays without holiday treats ~> MEH!

    Life is full of trade-offs.
    But no matter what . . . I am NOT willing to take food off the table.

    Even if I lived 20 years longer . . . they would be the WORST 20 years of my life.

    Try to find the right balance for YOU, River.

    And maybe invest in an indoor infinity pool so that you can exercise inside year round without bumming out your bum knee.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You made me giggle, but I completely understand. It is a challenge for all of us and especially effing menopause…and you were thrust into it with no warning. I’ve heard that is the worst mentally and physically.

    Eat the damn cookie. Have the margarita. None of us are getting out of this alive.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was a total shock because I was misdiagnosed for years and then wham! Total abdominal hysterectomy out of nowhere. Mentally it was hard, but physically I still haven’t gotten over it. So yeah, I’m having the cookie.
      With my margarita…

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s