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Who needs useful news when this stuff is so much more fun?
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Perhaps… but I think I’d rather sit quietly in the corner thank you very much.
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Because I can think of no one else I’d want rattling around in my brain.
😳
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That’s got to be one tired momma.
Damn.
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My husband has often spoken of the crotch rot that was a common servicemen’s affliction during the Vietnam War…. but pandemic pelvis? Nope. That’s a new one to me.
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Ladies – do you remember back in the day when your friends hosted those annoying Tupperware or Home Interior parties? I never wanted any of those products but my girlfriends would beg me to come to boost their attendance numbers. I hated the silly games and the forced sisterhood of wives who had nothing better to do than discuss the merits of the new and approved bowls that burped…. but I went, because I’m a good friend.
When those home party invitations started to wane and then disappeared completely? I was thrilled.
When the Covid pandemic introduced everyone to Zoom and my friends discovered the joy of hosting a party virtually? I was much less thrilled.
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Yes, that’s an invite to a friend’s virtual, high pressure, please log on and buy something so I can reach my sales goal and receive the free gift I never would have bought for myself anyway, party.
To make her happy I accepted the invite and logged on at the appropriate time. I virtually waved hello to the sales rep of the company I’d never heard of and boosted her attendance numbers. About to slip out the digital back door unnoticed, I figured what the hell… I might as well check out what they were selling.
And may I just say? Wow.
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Onyx nipple clamps and an Over the Moon vibrator?
I have to be honest… it almost made me miss the bowls that burped.
😳
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And if you can use it? I’m sorry.
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I haven’t read it, nor do I have any intention of reading it, but damn. That doesn’t sound pleasant.
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Duly noted.
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I never understand people who linger there to read or play with their devices. I adore reading… but there are more comfortable seats in the house.
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That was one busy trio.
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Yes, you read that correctly.
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I’m proud to say my liquor consumption did not waver during the pandemic… and rest assured, I continue to do my part to shore up America’s potent potable economy.
😉
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You might not be able to use it, but these things must be shared.
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No, not the Walking Dead kind… just zombie viral genomes. They don’t have a tv show but are still pretty impressive.
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That’s one bad ass prehistoric goldfish.
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There’s an America’s Best Restroom contest. How did I not know this? What are the categories… most comfortable commode? Most elbow room in a stall? Most stylish tampon dispenser? I need to know!
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Am I the only one who finds this disturbing?
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I.
Can’t.
Even.
😳
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The plethora of stupid headlines assures I will never run out of things to share.
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I’m going to pass on ordering one of those, just as I do on the extended car warranties.
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Now there’s an item positively screaming to be hung in the man cave bar.
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I don’t know about you, but I honestly don’t want to know the answer to that.
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*crosses Texas off her vacation destination list*
Who am I kidding? It was never on there in the first place.
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Big momma woodchuck is out of hibernation and stuffing her face at a rapid pace.
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I’d thrown out bread for the birds earlier that morning but when I saw her arrive and start munching, I quickly gave her lettuce instead.
,
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You know, the head of iceberg lettuce my husband brought home from the store after I specifically wrote “green leaf, red leaf, Boston or romaine…. anything but iceberg!” on the grocery list.
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Even as hungry as momma chuck was….
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She left most of the tasteless crunchy white parts.
🤣
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Not traveling for the past 2 years has been tough. It seems we were just getting into the swing of navigating our time share resort catalog… culling the ordinary and finding some fabulous spots… and then Covid slammed the door. While I’d be up for getting back on the road, my husband is still hesitant so we’re sticking close to home for now. I’ve been slowly researching some New England escapes my spouse might be comfortable with and the other day I came across this:
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Let me state for the record… unequivocally and without a doubt… I am not a camper. I have absolutely zero pioneering spirit and require hot and cold running Egyptian cotton sheets.
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While I love nature, the outdoors and hiking during the day, ( before my knee injury, damn it ) I prefer to sleep in air conditioned comfort on a king sized pillow top not sweltering in a 12×6 wagon with mosquitoes large enough to carry you away.
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Trust me, it’s not. And I wouldn’t.
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The words magical wagon and camp grounds are not used in the same sentence, not in my world.
And when I heard they rent for $1,500 a night? Yeeha! That’s a hard pass.
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Every time I finish one of these posts I think it will be my last, then I see something funny and realize I have to keep sharing.
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They don’t call them Emperors for nothing.
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Now that’s brilliant.
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Will we ever hug again? I’m rethinking so many pre Covid normalities now. Hand shaking. Buffet dinners. *shudders*
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This portrays my last two years perfectly.
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I just read an interesting article.
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Plants are our friends. They feed us, heal us, beautify our planet and cleanse our air. But now? It looks like they might be the answer to that pesky global plague.
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Go forth and research my friends!
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It’s still here, and I’m still trying to find the humor.
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I’m standing. How about you?
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No doubt!
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Sorry, I had to.
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It seems that way some days.
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Because I wanted to end on an up note…
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River's world..... 