Tag Archives: cookies

Have you ever said to hell with it and just eaten the cookie?

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I’ve been known to pepper my speech with the occasional four letter word… but by far, the worst one to ever cross my lips was diet.

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I was a normal sized child, a small teenager and a slim but curvy young adult. 110 lbs when I married my husband, and though I would positively kill for that figure today? Nature got in the way.

I gained a little weight at 35, but no problem. I hardly noticed it.

I gained a little weight at 40, and okay.. maybe I went up a size (or two).

But then I had a hysterectomy at 52 and gained a whole lotta weight. Being forced into menopause wrecked me and my body was no longer my own. No matter what type of diet or exercise I tried, the weight stayed on.

Next up was Covid lockdown with my husband teleworking and me cooking 24/7, so yeah. Another 10lbs.

And if that wasn’t bad enough? I blew my knee out last October. Damaged my MCL and ended up with a deep root radial meniscal tear… the worst kind. The kind that doesn’t heal. The kind that keeps you off the treadmill and plonks you on the couch. 10 more pounds and I’ve just about lost the will to live. Yoga pants are my friend and my clothes are silently mocking me from the closet.

I’m tired.

Tired of being overweight.

Tired of Covid ruining our travel retirement plans.

Tired of killer knee pain every single day.

Tired of the ugliness in the world.

Tired of the political and cultural divide in this country.

But most of all?

I’m tired of diets.

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So to Hell with it. I’m happily married and don’t need to impress anyone. My health is good despite the ##lbs I’ve put on since I hit 50.

So ya know what…?

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I’m going to eat the cookie.

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When the world hands you giant zucchini…

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It’s zucchini season and it seems like everyone we know is giving us zucchini.

Some very large zucchini.

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Which sent me searching for new recipes.

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Last night it was this one.

( If you’re not overflowing with gifted squash, feel free to skip the next section )

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And because I was already in the kitchen?

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Yummy lemon cookies that admittedly, look more like biscuits.

But trust me, they’re tasty.

And oh so easy to make.

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I love my town… part whatever.

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Haven’t done one of these in a while, so I thought it was time to check my small town’s FB page.

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The ultimate in tree repurposing. Goats!

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The old fashion trade and barter system is alive and well in my town. I have a neighbor who had his garage built with nothing but beer.

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Girl Scout cookies are the new crack. Those little bitches give you a free sample and you’re hooked.

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Sorry bud, someone left it in ours as well.

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That is perfectly evil. And I love it!

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Poor piner. Hope he was alright…

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Things that made me chuckle today.

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I don’t know if this is true…

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But I’m really hoping it is.

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Baby Yoda cocktails? Fabulous. Telling me about them and not posting a recipe? Cruel.

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And since we’ve all had enough of the last election horror show?

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Wilbur is pretty stinking cute. And when’s the last time you said that about a presidential candidate?

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Poop cookies.

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Admit it, you know someone who deserves a dozen or so of those.

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Pandemic humor

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Admit it, you need to laugh as much as I do.

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Yeah, I hate when that happens.

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I’ve never had the pleasure, but from the tone of the reviews…. I’m going to pass.

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Karen.

That bitch is trying my patience.

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Am I the only one who’s slightly freaked out by this…?

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Stop bogarting the Oreos fat boy. Christmas is about sharing….

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2020.

It’s the only explanation.

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I have to admit this one got me thinking…

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What is it they say…?

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Revenge is a dish best served cold.

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Hmm. I’d have no problem with supply, momma red squirrel reproduces like a rabbit.

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Now I love me some biscuits and gravy… but no.

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And though I’ve been known to make a mean gumbo…. again, no.

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Squirrel ravioli? Can’t quite wrap my mind around that.

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While I admit they annoy me to no end, that image is a trifle disturbing.

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Fried squirrel heart on crackers with cheese? You don’t see that on many appetizer trays.

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Squirrel lard cookies.

Is it me…. or do they look like little nut topped turds?

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So very disappointing.

 

I love it when I go grocery shopping and find a product that seems to be tailor made for me.

Witness River’s cookie heaven:

 

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Cookies…

That taste like cocktails!

 

 

I was a little disappointed to find there was a bag inside the bag and how very few cookies there actually were….

 

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But I figured that just meant they were extra special.

I was wrong.

So very, very wrong.

 

 

In fact…  these cookies were not only horrible, but probably one of the worst things I’ve ever tasted in my life.  And I’ve endured my MIL’s pot roast, so that’s saying something.

I mean Hell… it’s a cookie. By nature they’re flippin’ delightful!

How do you screw that up?

As I was bundling them up to throw away, I flipped over the package and noticed this:

 

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Fruitcake.

This company shipped 12,000 pounds of the most atrocious baked good ever invented to brave, battle weary soldiers.

 

 

I know!

Hadn’t those poor men suffered enough?

Of course it does explain the low quality cookie standard and my severe revulsion to their product.

 

 

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Maybe that’s the explanation.

The cookies were actually leftover fruitcake from 1943.

 

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