Tag Archives: covid

Finally, a piñata I can get behind. And under.

.

I’ve never been a huge fan of piñatas. I mean really, if you give me a baseball bat and want me to hit something other than a ball? It better be something worthwhile… like a certain red squirrel who shall remain nameless.

.

.

But hold the phone…. there’s a piñata filled with liquor?

.

.

Nipyata! Count me in.

.

.

Covid? Sure I’ll give that a whack.

.

.

Clown? Definitely whacking that creepy SOB.

.

.

No, I might have to pass on that one. The husband wouldn’t want me practicing that particular swing.

.

.

Apologies to my Republican friends, but that’s just begging to be whacked. (And look, he’s on sale)

😈

.

A good old fashioned shopping trip.

.

Being fully vaccinated, I’m starting to feel safer venturing out with a friend for some long over due retail therapy. First stop? A nursery.

.

.

Because as I’ve said previously, you can never have too many flowers.

Second stop? Goodwill… where I saw this.

.

.

Although I had no idea what it was. At first I thought it was a cat with big tatas wearing a cape and waving. Then I figured out it was a cape wearing kangaroo with boxing gloves and an open pouch. The question is… why does such a thing exist?

.

.

We visited a gift store with strange mossy things…

.

.

But I did like the upside down air plant stuck inside a dried urchin.

.

.

And if you ever want a suede comforter with barbed wire?

.

.

Complete with turquoise stars and fringed pillow shams? I can totally hook you up. ( Although I won’t be spending the night in your guest room. Uh uh. Nope. )

I had to laugh at the rainbow coalition of Crocs.

.

.

Does anyone even wear those monstrosities anymore?

.

.

And finally, this was the one that got away. I’m filled with regret for not scooping that little gem up when I saw it. Ice cubes in 8 minutes? I totally should have bought that for our man cave bar.

😩

.

Quick… list them on eBay!

.

On our way home from our scenic drive the other day we stopped for a cocktail ( or two ).

.

.

Repeat after me… martinis are not made with rum. Nope. Uh uh. Never. Cherry Gin Ricky it is.

.

.

Nice flavor, but a little too sweet so I asked the bartender to dial back the grenadine on #2. Bartenders are wonderful people, so helpful and attentive to our needs.

.

.

Cocktails with my husband always requires food, so he ordered mussels while I opted for Truffle fries. Both were yummy but the real news? Even after I declined ketchup, 3 packets made their way to our table.

.

.

Oh, the extravagance! After the waitress said she couldn’t take them back due to Covid rules… and when my husband remembered there was a shortage causing people to list them on eBay for $15 per… he scooped them up and brought them home. Where they’ll languish in the drawer until the next global pandemic lockdown.

.

.

When everything that can go wrong…. does.

.

We got a phone call telling us the leather chairs we’d ordered for the man cave were ready for pickup. Erring on the side of caution, I suggested we take the husband’s old truck in for a check up before making the long trip. In typical man fashion he thought this was a ridiculous idea, got aggravated with me for impugning the integrity of his baby and told me to schedule the furniture pick up for Friday.

.

.

You knew where this was going…. right? The truck started sputtering and jerking when we hit I-95, an hour after we left home. I suggested we turn around and go back, but no. The husband had the bright idea to get off the highway and ride the back roads down to New Hampshire. This added at least 2 hours to our 2 1/2 trip. When we finally limped in to Nashua… which has awful stop and go traffic and endless traffic lights on the main drag… the truck was stalling every time it idled. I suggested we pull off the road, but no. The husband could literally see the warehouse where our chairs were patiently waiting. He didn’t pull over… so at the final red light? The truck died. Totally and completely died. Smoke pouring out from under the doors died. Yours truly had to jump out and help the husband push it off the busy road into a parking lot. With my bad knee. In case you were wondering…. pushing an 8 foot bed pickup is not on the approved radial meniscus tear exercise list. Ouch! We called AAA and were told due to a tow truck driver shortage it would be a 3 hour wait. Ever sit in a hot truck for 3 hours waiting on a tow? I don’t recommend it. At 4:30 that afternoon…

.

.

The tow truck came, loaded our vehicle on the flat bed and promptly told us due to Covid restrictions we couldn’t ride back to Maine with him … and oh yeah, our coverage was only good for 100 miles. So they’d have to charge us $5 per mile for the overage.

😳

We paid, the truck went back to Maine…. and there was really only one thing left for us to do.

.

.

I drank. I fumed. I ate southwestern egg rolls. I drank some more.

.

.

There may have been eye rolling. (Who am I kidding, there was definitely eye rolling. )

And then I called a friend. A good friend who jumped in his brand new truck and drove over 2 hours to pick us… and our leather chairs … up. Good thing the warehouse was open until 8:00pm.

.

.

We took him out for dinner and drinks. We filled his giant gas tank. I slipped $100 bill in his center console.

.

.

We arrived home after midnight.

.

.

Not the best time to move furniture, but when do we ever do anything the easy way?

.

.

Did I mention the barn door (the free door my husband got at the dump) is a non standard size? The chairs got stuck 4 times. There may have been cursing, but at that point I was too tired to care.

We rolled in to bed about 1:30am…. and I thought the bad luck was over.

I was wrong.

To be continued….

.

Pandemic humor.

.

The crisis is slowly winding down and Covid humor is harder to find, but here are the latest.

.

.

Sometimes it really is better to bee safe than sorry. ( Feel free to groan. I couldn’t help myself. )

.

.

No doubt!

.

.

You can’t argue with that logic.

.

.

While technically these aren’t virus related jokes, if you’ve done any home improvements in the past year you know the price of lumber and supplies has skyrocketed.

.

.

We were in Lowes the other day ordering shingles for our long overdo roof repair, and trust me… this isn’t far off the mark.

And finally…

.

.

Ouch!

.

Forget toilet paper.

.

There’s a new product shortage right around the corner.

.

.

Yes, it’s true.

.

.

So if you’re hard up for cash? Start digging through your car’s glove compartment for the ketchup you threw in there during your road trip to see the world’s largest ball of twine back in ‘04. That stuff is gold!

.

.

Because the price gouging has begun.

.

.

In reality I guess it makes a perverse type of sense.

.

.

20 packets for $50 doesn’t seem like a bargain to me.

.

.

But in a few months, maybe it will be.

.

Do you need to hug a cow?

.

Since hugging friends and family has been a definite no no for the past year, I’m offering an alternative.

.

.

Bovine cuddles!

.

.

I wish I’d known about this when we were in Arizona. Giving a cow a belly rub has to be better than the 3 days I spent in bed with altitude sickness. And in case you didn’t know, this is apparently a trend. Shortly after I read that article I found the following on my town’s Facebook page.

.

.

I may not have to travel after all.

.

.

No cows were available, but the goats are booked solid. Who knew livestock was so lovable….

.

Pandemic humor.

Because it’s still here and we still to need to laugh.

.

.

I don’t consider myself at all anti social, but Covid has certainly made me realize how much I enjoy my own company. I never disagree with myself, annoy myself or get in my own way. Ya gotta love that.

.

.

Proof positive pandemics can make some things easier.

.

.

I do feel sorry for the kids. They’re missing out on so many once in a lifetime experiences. But on the plus side, by the time they finally do go back to class? They’ll be old enough to buy beer.

.

.

I shouldn’t laugh at this, I’m still only halfway through my stockpile.

.

.

This one is a little old, but I missed it. 2020 won? That’s uncanny.

.

.

Hey, at this point I say whatever works.

.

Leave it to me.

.

If there’s a one in a million chance of getting a weird side effect from the Covid vaccine? You know it’s going to be me.

.

This is my kind of luck.

.

So I got my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine Friday morning. By Friday afternoon, my arm was sore and I had a slight headache…. which was no big deal and to be expected. I went to bed at 10:00 and called it good. Until I woke up Saturday morning with body aches, sluggish fatigue, a bigger headache and an odd tenderness under my left arm. I was pretty useless all day, went to bed at 7:00pm but couldn’t sleep for the pain. By Sunday morning? I had a rock hard grapefruit in my armpit.

.

Darth Kermit is an asshole.

.

I admit I was a little freaked out and immediately hit the computer for some medical research. Yes, it is a possible side effect… though it’s rare and only hits 0.3% of the public. It usually lasts a week to ten days, but can be sore for up to a month.

.

.

Ironically, I had a routine doctors appointment scheduled for today and I just got back. They told me they hadn’t seen a patient present with it yet, but they did have a male nurse with a bad case. Of course he didn’t have to worry about wearing a tight bra, so my sympathy only went so far.

.

.

The doctor told me our lymph nodes are part of our body’s immune response system and they swell when they’re fighting infection. So the fact that mine are inflamed is actually a positive reaction to the vaccine.

.

.

Maybe so. But I’m here to tell you, it’s not a pleasant feeling.

.