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At the turn of the century, Indian leopards developed a taste for human flesh. (If that’s not a great line to start a blog? I don’t know what is.)
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Pop a hot coal in grandma’s mouth and roll her down the hill? I know India is hot… but that’s cold.
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As much as I love all animals… (and I do! Weirdos like wombats, echidnas, and warthogs? Love ‘em all.) I can not stand monkeys. They’re shifty little bastards and this proves my point.
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Jet propelled ejaculate? Yet another reason to dislike monkeys…
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I’m sure that’s more than you ever wanted to know about jerking off a monkey, but I live to educate.
You’re welcome.
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Religion is a strange thing. When random rats start dropping from the sky? My first thought is not going to be a blessing, I can guarantee you that.
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This is wonderful news. I must move to Britain immediately! Red squirrels are in decline? It sounds like heaven.
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Hot coal in the mouth and rolled down the hill in the general direction of the Ganges? Do they just make this shit up? All leopards aside, I can’t imagine a better mechanism for spreading disease than a bunch of unburied corpses, with third degree burns on their tongues, lying around wherever their grieving relatives threw them.
As far as monkeys go, I’m proud to be on the team with you. They’re no better than sewer rats.
A lovely morning read while Otto tries to eat my leg. Thank you.
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I try to spread a little sunshine where ever I go…
😉
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I guess booting the conveyance of Lord Ganesha into the next block would counteract the blessing ??? Oops.
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Monkeys can be funny. I remember my sister’s boyfriend bringing one over. I asked if I could hold it and show mom so the monkey put his arms around my neck and we went inside. When my mom tried to take it from me, it started squeaking and held tighter. Awesome Memory, Thanks
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I loath monkeys as well….they are smelly, shifty and rude. Mom and as you mentioned are dirty little bastards. There are so many weird traditions that I just can’t wrap my head around.
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I often wonder if the reason I hate monkeys is their similarity to humans…
😉
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That’s apeshit about the monkey jizz.
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You will be gibbon an A for effort on that pun.
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