Tag Archives: red squirrels

That bitch!

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It never ends, I swear.

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She most definitely is and judging by what’s scattered all over our lawn …

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And stuck in our shrubbery…

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She’s been busy.

It only took me a minute to find her latest project. I simply looked up….

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And there was the proof. Waving at me like a flag in the breeze.

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That little red bitch has chewed her way into our house… again! To be honest, I don’t even know what that vent is for, but I’m guessing it’s going to be filled with little red bitch offspring in no time flat.

Red Squirrel War IV will commence shortly.

😡

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Fuzz… part 5.

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For my friends of a certain age… did your mother ever force feed you castor oil? If so, be glad it was only a tablespoon and you weren’t on Mussolini’s bad side.

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Next up … a little story on something you should never do to increase sexual pleasure.

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Ouch! Not to mention eww.

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I knew that bitch had military experience! We’re doomed.

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You have to wonder what kind of little boy or girl fantasized about owning a company that specializes in these products. “What do you want to be when you grow up Susie/Sammy?” “A butt paste and douche distributor mommy. It will be so much fun!”

😳

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Vermont is still calling.

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Another post about possible Vermont accommodations appeared on my feed today. Clearly, the state misses us.

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And while I love the idea of staying in a romantic little treehouse ….

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I admit the first thing that went through my mind was damn, that’s positively asking for a red squirrel invasion. So, hard pass from me.

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I’d surely have nightmares.

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Fuzz… part 3.

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At the turn of the century, Indian leopards developed a taste for human flesh. (If that’s not a great line to start a blog? I don’t know what is.)

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Pop a hot coal in grandma’s mouth and roll her down the hill? I know India is hot… but that’s cold.

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As much as I love all animals… (and I do! Weirdos like wombats, echidnas, and warthogs? Love ‘em all.) I can not stand monkeys. They’re shifty little bastards and this proves my point.

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Jet propelled ejaculate? Yet another reason to dislike monkeys…

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I’m sure that’s more than you ever wanted to know about jerking off a monkey, but I live to educate.

You’re welcome.

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Religion is a strange thing. When random rats start dropping from the sky? My first thought is not going to be a blessing, I can guarantee you that.

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This is wonderful news. I must move to Britain immediately! Red squirrels are in decline? It sounds like heaven.

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Backyard wildlife, homicide division.

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Mother and Bambi are chowing down regularly and trying to lay on extra winter pounds.

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But sadly I was right about the blue eyes fading. Once this little one grows up we won’t be able to distinguish him/her so easily.

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But look who’s made our backyard his new hunting ground….

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A juvenile Coopers Hawk.

He perches on the bird feeder pole and waits patiently for lunch to drop in.

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I got excited when I saw this:

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And was seriously hoping mother red squirrel had met her doom…

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But unfortunately it was a dove.

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Better luck next time guy.

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She’s persistent, I’ll give her that.

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Alternate title : The Bitch is Back.

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Still on our roof.

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Still trying to chew her way back into our house.

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Look at her.

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Taunting me.

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We’ve sealed up every entry point we can find.

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But she keeps looking.

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Did I laugh when she scrambled on top of the gutter, slipped and fell in the downspout?

Damn right I did.

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Still driving me nuts.

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I came home from the store the other day and stepped up on our kitchen landing.

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Which is when I saw it.

Do you see it?

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Let me give you a hint…

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We hadn’t seen the little red bastards for a while, but it was right there.

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A stolen apple wedge. Prominently placed where I couldn’t help but see it.

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That bitch is taunting me now.

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