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News you can’t use… and some that doesn’t bear thinking about.

47 Comments

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Get ready for a bit of ick factor in the headlines this week.

You’ve been warned.

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I don’t care if it cuts the water bill out completely, I’m not doing it.

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Oh, holy hell. There’s a topic I never gave a second, no less first, thought.

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Jet propelled poop?

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Excuse me while I go throw up.

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It’s statements like these that make me realize how marvelously out of touch I am.

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Well isn’t that just peachy.

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Watch out gentlemen. You may like the fact she makes more money than you, but that luxury comes with a price.

🤣

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47 thoughts on “News you can’t use… and some that doesn’t bear thinking about.”

  1. Do people not close the lid before they flush? The hand-washing photo, I think is a bit of a misrepresentation. If properly installed, the water would come from the water line into the tank, then drain into the tank to be used for flushing. Good for washing up after doing your business. Blue water? Check your filter. Pegging? There are things to say, but I won’t say them.

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  3. Oh, holy hell. There’s a topic I never gave a second, no less first, thought. Jet propelled poop? <—I read about this years ago. It's why my toothbrush is on the OTHER side of the vanity.

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  4. No, no, no!!!! I’m sitting here having my coffee and chocolate croissant (yeah don’t judge) and I read this flying poop and pegging?! BTW I keep my toothbrush in a cabinet in the bathroom, because that particular subject was the subject of an episode of Dirty Jobs with that cutie patootie Mike Rowe (yeah again don’t judge) about how flushing without dropping the lid makes everything fly in all sorts of directions.

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  5. You might not want to know about this, but because of one of my medical conditions (no colon, which I may have mentioned before) I suffer from permanent diarrhea. Jet-propelled poop particles is a daily problem for me. And sorry, Kenny, but closing the lid does very little to stop the problems. For one the bottom of the lid is covered with such particles whether you can see them or not. The next person may not realize this, and they lean on the back, thus transferring the particles to their clothes, and from they to anywhere they sit. “I shit you not!”
    Second, there is a space between the seat and the toilet bowl itself, and another between the seat and the closed lid. These spaces are tiny, but particles get blasted right between them. Having poor eyesight I never noticed this. My partner, though, with her 40/20 eyesight sees everything. Whatever sits in front of or to the sides of the toilet gets plastered with them. And if they dry they are hard to remove. (HINT: Soak them with wet toilet paper flat against the surface for half a minute they come off without scrubbing.) Same goes for the underside of the lid, and the underside of the seat.
    Believe me, I wish I was NOT an expert on this topic, but I live with this problem sometimes 40 times a day on a bad day. I spend as much time cleaning around the toilet as I do sitting on it.
    On the flip side, I am not grossed out by poop or toilets. They are a constant part of my life, and will be till I die.
    And that’s my life. Never let it be yours, no matter what the doctors say.

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    2. I do the wet paper towel on the lid and seat thing. I don’t know why they use it, but the paint on a wooden toilet seat just doesn’t adhere that well. Strong chemicals of any kind softens it to the point where you can wipe it off. If you spray it on and let it dry it’s OK. The things we do for a clean place to take a dump.

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      1. I only went four years without a diagnosis (complete ulcerative colitis, end to end) and I took the experimental surgery of not getting an ostomy bag. My body shape was not condusive to a bag. However, my operation was a failure, like a lot were in those days. I hear it has gotten better of late.
        But I feel for you, lee. Those 4 years were the 4 worst years of my life. We take our plumbing for granted, but if it gets gummed up there aren’t enough “plumbers” around who know how to fix it.
        The doctors never considered colitis for me because I gained weight rather than lost it. Finally one gave me the right test and found all the ulcers.
        I certainly hope someone can diagnose your problem. I know how pnysically and MENTALLY exhauting that can be.

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      2. Yeah… I’m pretty sure being fat has prevented consideration of some possibilities. I figured out peanut butter made things worse and grudgingly gave it up.
        So sorry the surgery was a failure!!
        I have joked, since Imodium first appeared, that I alone keep them in business. It sucks that I take it near daily and docs see nothing wrong with that!

        My consolation was a coworker who insisted her constipation was a worse condition – till having 2 wks of diarrhea. Mine was so bad that colonoscopy prep was NBD to me… no different that a regular day.

        If no colon and no ostomy bag, are you constantly in the bathroom?

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      3. Pretty much live in the bathroom.. I have no bowel control, so wearing Tenas helps contain he problem, but it isn’t ideal. Also, because of the surgery, my anus opening is frozen at barely pencil-sized, meaning it takes way longer to expel the contents. This is why I say don’t do the surgery unless it is critical. The cure can be worse than the disease.
        As for foods there were many things that made the problem worse, both before the surgery and after. Beef was the worst. Cabbage and cauliflower were horrible, but over the years that has changed. Nuts and seeds have to be avoided for me unless chewed to a complete pulp before swallowing. Citrus fruis used to be a problem too, but not so much anymore.
        I’m sure you have your own coping mechanisms, since you have been suffering so long.

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      4. I avoid cabbage and cauliflower too!
        I was addicted to eating at Hof’s Hut, despite having a very short window to get home, till the night it triggered an acute diverticulitis attack which led to a hospital stay.
        I can’t drink fountain soda but I’m okay with canned/bottled. Addicted to stout beers but some, probably the milk stouts, cause problems.

        When I had a hell job and my GI probs were at their worst, I intentionally used the bathroom + stall that shared a wall with the executive conference room – just to be a jerk to those who were jerks to employees!

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      5. Love the bit about the hell job. Hope you interrupted some imporyant meeyibgs! I dpn’t/can’t drink alcohol because for years I was on an anyibiotic called Metronizadole in Canada, which helped cut down on internal infections, but continued use caused peripheral myopathies. I continually lose feelings in my hands, lower arms, feet and lower legs, but they come back with the use of medical marijuana. That iz a vicious cycle, and every time the feeling starts to return the pins and needles are absolutely painful. I have recently started on a new antiniotic cslled Salofslk, but it needs a low dose of Metronizadole to work properly for me, so I don’t know what will happen to my peripheral nerves yet. One thing I can say, losing the feelings in your hands is dangerous. I drop things unexpectedly because I have to think about keeping my hands tight, and that is hard to do.Right now I have feeling in my hands, but I am always waiting to lose it again.

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      6. Oh yeah… I’ve had metro and keep it on hand! First time was when I was hospitalized and the doc only mentioned “NO booze, not even mouthwash!” as an afterthought. I was making plans to go drink!!

        The extremeities thing sounds awful. I hope I learn from you ratger than experience! I’m picturing you getting some kind of cool exoskeleton device to control your hands.

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      7. I’d rather just get the feel8ng back permanently, but I was on the Metro for 30 years because it worked and nothing else did. O,you do ‘t want to touch alcohol on it.i did once,and ended up 8n the nospital. Within seconds I list the ability to think. It was only a few sips, but never again.

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      1. It’s way more than that. EXAMPLE: High definition photos of a whisker cut with a razor and with an electric shaver. It’s the difference between a Samurai sword and a weed whacker. They called them “the photos Norelco doesn’t want you to see” or something like that. All done selling, you’ll never know what you missed.

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  9. * Fancied them up a bit, but the wash basin/drinking fountain pooping machine has been a fixture in prisons and jailhouses for over a Century now. Rusty knows these things.
    * There’s been a long study on toilets and toothbrushes occupying the same quarters. That’s why I hum two verses of twinkle-twinkle-little-star myself when brushing.
    * I am not going to submit to a pegging without a thorough malleting first. I am the dom in these parts … hear?

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  12. I’d go for the toilet water wash – but it would need a lid or something to stop particle contamination, and need to be touch free or it would defeat its hygienic purpose.

    I recall similar faecal coliform-related articles floating around Australia over 10 – maybe 20 years ago…. Now I’m thinking that matter cannot be destroyed or created, so the next media article could be “Where are they now?!”

    Pegging – yeah nah. What’s cis? If it’s change in sex – which is what? Can’t get more integrity than a porn website. If they say it’s so then it is….

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  13. Reading Bill Bryson’s “At Home: A Short History of Private Life” a few years ago is where I learned about toilet spray. I was horrified and have lowered the lid before flushing – without fail – ever since. When I’m in a bathroom where that’s not possible (i.e., airports) I flush while facing away from the toilet and get out of the stall as fast as I can after flushing. I face enough germs at my job. I don’t need to add toilet spray to my load.
    Also, I made a poster at work from a newspaper article that shows the spray that comes from your nose/mouth when you sneeze. It was caught by some special camera and the article says it can land something like 20 feet away. I use this to encourage them to cover. It has a decent success rate, but that may be because I also give my students (meaningless but fun) “points” when they cover.

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