Tag Archives: lions

Let’s play.

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It’s time to dive into all those slightly disturbing repressed memories and remember….

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I know most people will pick a horror film like the Exorcist…. and granted, Linda Blair’s spinning head and projectile vomit was enough to keep anyone up at night… but for me there’s only one answer.

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Yes, the heartwarming true story of Elsa the adopted lioness cub that became a beloved pet but had to be released back into the wild when grown damn near wrecked me.

I’m an animal lover to the N’th degree. I rescue the ones I can and weep for the ones I can’t. I come by it naturally as my mother and father were also animal crazy. We always had a houseful of stray pets and wounded birds when I was a child. My father was Scottish, but raised in England. Stiff upper lip et al. He wasn’t a man to give in to his emotions in public, but I saw him weep like a baby at the vet when his beloved dog died. What can I say? We’re animal people.

I can’t watch the commercials about abused pets, I have nightmares and wake up screaming. As a kid I refused to watch Sounder, the Yearling and most of the Lassie tv series. I was a tender hearted young soul.

But when Born Free finally came to television my mother decided it was a good family film and we would all watch it. What the hell was she thinking! I saw elephants and antelopes shot. I saw a woman being eaten by a man eating lion. My mother’s innocent family film turned out to be pretty bloody.

I, like everyone else, fell in love with Elsa the adorable frolicking cub. I loved her even more as she grew to become a proud lioness… and wanted her to live happily with the Adamsons forever. And ever, amen.

Seeing George and Joy forced to set her free had me weeping, openly gasping for breath. I couldn’t shake the sadness. Not that night, or the next. I kid you not… I was one depressed little girl for weeks on end after watching that damn film. And the song? Wow. To this day I can’t hear it without choking up.

So there you have it. Jaws didn’t scare me. Texas Chain Saw Massacre had me chuckling. The Omen? Come on…

But Born Free? That was pure unadulterated trauma.

So how about you? What childhood movie permanently scarred your psyche…

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When ya gotta go…..

 

Due to the nationwide shortage of toilet paper, I feel it’s necessary to share a little history.

As well as a helpful alternative in these troubling times.

You know the old saying, “When in Rome?”

Well……

 

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The Ancient Romans were never bothered by a lack of tripe ply Charmin.

No, sir.

Not when they had their handy tersoriums.

 

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I’ll pause for a moment to let you conjure a mental image of using one the next time you pay a visit.

Got it?

Alright then…. moving on.

 

 

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Death by lion…. or swallowing a tersorium?

Sorry, but I’m going with the lion every time.

And in case you’re interested?

You should be thanking this man that you’re not outside searching for a stick right now.

 

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Joseph C. Gayetty.

The inventor of modern toilet paper.

 

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Corn cobs?

No thank you.

But if the Covid shortage continues, we’re all going to wish the Sears catalog was still being printed.

 

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And now that I think about it….

Maybe I need to check the husband’s barn for this stuff. If anyone has some, it will be my other half.

 

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Far be it for me to woo my own destruction.