Tag Archives: toilet paper

Let the games begin.

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Remember the Covid piñata I bought for the Christmas in July party?

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It was a huge hit. Everyone got in the spirit and had ideas on where to hang it.

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Not wanting the contents to spill into the pool, I recommended a nearby tree.

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A little lower please.

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Blindfolds were acquired and the swinging began.

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Poor girl had no idea my evil husband was messing with her aim. She managed to knock the germ off its hanger but didn’t break it… so it was rehung and more turns were taken.

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The pre med boyfriend finally bashed it open … (although it was against someone’s car, oops!) and pandemic appropriate goodies spilled out.

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They were quickly scooped up and examined. At first people laughed, because how often do you have portable toilet paper in a piñata?

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But then everyone was stuffing their pockets for the next apocalyptic run on Charmin.

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The Covid ball?

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It looked rather like a dirty Pac Man and was claimed as well.

To be continued …

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Christmas in July?

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Some years, if we’re not traveling… we spend Christmas Day with friends. They tend to have less emotional baggage than family, and are generally a lot more fun. Of course last year, Covid ruined everything about the holidays and we neither traveled nor made merry with friends. Boo to global pandemics! They’re such a buzz kill.

Our friends, being fun loving (as well as gift greedy) have decided to celebrate 2020’s lost holiday in July. (It will be a barbecue/pool party at our friend’s newly purchased house/horse farm/how the Hell is a 50 something single woman going to take care of this huge spread by herself.)

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We’ve been invited and encouraged to get into the Christmas in July spirit…. so naturally I will be wearing this:

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Because nothing says Ho! Ho! Ho! like Santa in a mankini.

I will also be bringing this:

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A Covid themed piñata, so we can all take our frustrations over the past year out on something other than our spouses.

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Yes. To all of that. And I won’t be filling it with candy, no. In honor of the shit show that was 2020 I will fill it with these:

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What are those you ask? Only the perfect gift to give your friends in case certain items become hard to find again.

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Portable toilet paper! Am I a genius or what?

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And to further get into the Christmas spirit? I’ve purchased this 2020 totally went down the drain themed tree.

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I did not however purchase the accompanying ornaments.

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Tree turd danglers?

No.

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Definitely, no.

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Pandemic humor.

Because it’s still here and we still to need to laugh.

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I don’t consider myself at all anti social, but Covid has certainly made me realize how much I enjoy my own company. I never disagree with myself, annoy myself or get in my own way. Ya gotta love that.

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Proof positive pandemics can make some things easier.

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I do feel sorry for the kids. They’re missing out on so many once in a lifetime experiences. But on the plus side, by the time they finally do go back to class? They’ll be old enough to buy beer.

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I shouldn’t laugh at this, I’m still only halfway through my stockpile.

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This one is a little old, but I missed it. 2020 won? That’s uncanny.

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Hey, at this point I say whatever works.

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Art I most definitely do not need.

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One little picture of Dudley on Facebook. That’s all it took for the Catopia algorithm to switch into high gear. And today? Unfortunately it’s bathroom themed.

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Yikes.

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Not anymore, no. Although thanks to Covid and an injured knee…. there is a whole lot more of it.

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Wow.

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I’d say this poster is a little cheeky, but that’s a tad too on point.

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If Dudley wanders in and hands me the toilet paper? I’m totally ditching Facebook.

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Pandemic humor.

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Still here. Still laughing… even when it’s not so funny anymore.

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Seriously, you’ve had a year to figure it out. WTH?

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Call me crazy, but I still think that’s a good thing.

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Yes, hang on to your Charmin…. toilet paper shortages could be just around the corner again.

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I think I still have 45 rolls from the first Oh no, I’ll never be able to wipe my butt again! apocalypse…. so I’m good. The rest of you? Good luck.

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It looks like home schooling is winding down now with kids going back to the classroom…. but something tells me mommy’s sippy cup might still have a bit of the grape left in it.

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True that.

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The good, the bad, and the rude.

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As you know (from reading this) I am not a fan of the photo Christmas card. But this year? There were a few that made even me smile…. and in the interest of fair play I’m posting them.

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Clever people who went the extra mile this season.

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Is it wrong I’m as jealous as Hell of that fort?

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I feel you momma.

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A wee bit dark, but I get it.

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This cracked me up. The photoless photo card.

A fitting tribute to 2020.

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A bit embarrassing, that.

But along with the funny ones… there were some I found to be in bad taste.

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I’m no prude, but toilet humor at Christmas might be a bridge too far.

And this last one?

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No. Just no…

To celebrate and encourage your young daughter to flip off your friends and family?

I don’t care how rotten 2020 was, that’s not my idea of festive.

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Pandemic humor

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Laughing.

You need to do it…. so it might as well be here.

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I knew I was totally blameless! Now if someone would just tell my waistline…

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If we haven’t, we should .

Like right now.

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Karen. Still causing trouble…

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Not yet mind you, but come January it’s entirely possible.

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I saw a woman buy 13 bottles of bleach last week.

They walk among us.

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Pandemic humor.

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Because laughing beats the alternative.

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Please. I’m begging you…

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Anal probe be damned. A day out is a day out.

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Thank you Hubert.

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How about we pee on everyone who refuses to wear one? That might change some minds.

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Run, chicken!

Run!

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Don’t laugh, by January this might be a reasonable option.

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Proof positive Covid is affecting everyone.

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Bathroom products you might need.

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Or might not. That’s entirely up to you.

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Don’t discount alternative toilet paper. When the next Covid wave of hoarding shoppers comes through you’re going to wish you had grandma’s old Sears catalog.

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Good grief! If you’re losing that much hair in the shower? Seek medical help not a drain blocker.

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Now isn’t that just special?

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In the current Covid climate? This is the equivalent of one upping your neighbor. To heck with building a wrap around porch and landscaping with exotic flora…. displaying 8 rolls of toilet paper means you’ve arrived.

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