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Let’s start the new year laughing.
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And I did.
Yay me!
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Bet you didn’t think of that, but it’s true all the same.
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Good grief, I hope not!
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I’m nothing if not consistent.
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The only appropriate thing to do to that horrible year.
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Amen to that!
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As you know (from reading this) I am not a fan of the photo Christmas card. But this year? There were a few that made even me smile…. and in the interest of fair play I’m posting them.
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Clever people who went the extra mile this season.
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Is it wrong I’m as jealous as Hell of that fort?
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I feel you momma.
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A wee bit dark, but I get it.
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This cracked me up. The photoless photo card.
A fitting tribute to 2020.
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A bit embarrassing, that.
But along with the funny ones… there were some I found to be in bad taste.
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I’m no prude, but toilet humor at Christmas might be a bridge too far.
And this last one?
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No. Just no…
To celebrate and encourage your young daughter to flip off your friends and family?
I don’t care how rotten 2020 was, that’s not my idea of festive.
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Laughing.
You need to do it…. so it might as well be here.
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I knew I was totally blameless! Now if someone would just tell my waistline…
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If we haven’t, we should .
Like right now.
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Karen. Still causing trouble…
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Not yet mind you, but come January it’s entirely possible.
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I saw a woman buy 13 bottles of bleach last week.
They walk among us.
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Because laughing beats the alternative.
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Please. I’m begging you…
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Anal probe be damned. A day out is a day out.
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Thank you Hubert.
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How about we pee on everyone who refuses to wear one? That might change some minds.
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Run, chicken!
Run!
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Don’t laugh, by January this might be a reasonable option.
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Proof positive Covid is affecting everyone.
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Or might not. That’s entirely up to you.
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Don’t discount alternative toilet paper. When the next Covid wave of hoarding shoppers comes through you’re going to wish you had grandma’s old Sears catalog.
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Good grief! If you’re losing that much hair in the shower? Seek medical help not a drain blocker.
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Now isn’t that just special?
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In the current Covid climate? This is the equivalent of one upping your neighbor. To heck with building a wrap around porch and landscaping with exotic flora…. displaying 8 rolls of toilet paper means you’ve arrived.
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Because we all need to laugh more often.
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I don’t know, but FFS…. someone send her back.
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How exactly does one do that?
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We’ll all be doing this come January.
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Yes.
That sounds about right.
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Guess it’s been a rough year for everyone.
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Oh, those Brits.
Ever helpful with the good advice.
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Here’s hoping your holiday is happy, safe and free of tactical response teams.
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Because I still need to laugh.
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You think you’ve laid in enough supplies for the next Covid wave of panicked shoppers? Just imagine how much triple ply Charmin ole Rex would have needed.
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That’s a distinct possibility.
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Another possibility. At least in my neck of the woods.
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That sounds like good advice.
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Protection.
It’s not just for penises anymore…
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Because I’m still trying to laugh.
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This just keeps getting worse and worse.
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Teleworking…. everyone is doing it.
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It’s here and we have to deal with it. Might as well mellow out if you can.
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They weren’t.
They definitely weren’t.
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Yes, please.
And maybe into 2022 just to be safe.
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Swiss chard, celery, onion, basil, radishes, carrots, dill, scallions, tomato, pepper and something I’d never tried before.
A Korean melon.
It’s a delicate flavor, like cantaloupe… with the consistency of a cucumber.
At the store this week –
A clearance sale on Hostess coffee.
Poor SnoBalls.
Apparently no one likes them in caffeinated liquid form either.
Italian flour.
WTH?
Do the Irish and French have some as well. And if so, why?
Gag.
More meatless meat. This time in balls.
So wrong.
And yes, the brand name toilet paper was still on the shelves.
But right across the aisle?
Not a Brawny or Bounty in sight.
Thirsty paper towels?
Trust me, they’re anything but.
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Scarlett O’Hara was quite a broad.
Selfish? Yes. Manipulative? Most assuredly. But lately, I’ve seen shades of myself in her most famous quote:
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Never again.
Yes dear readers, I have vowed that a fall resurgence of the world wide pandemic will not catch me unaware again.
It’s true.
I have become that which I despise.
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There are 16 boxes of tissues in my spare bathroom closet.
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And yes….
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There are 23 rolls of paper towels and 22 rolls of toilet paper in my spare bathroom tub.
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So bring it Covid 19 hoarding shoppers! Clear the store shelves of bathroom paper supplies at your first October sniffle.
River Scarlett is ready.
She will never wipe her butt with sandpaper again!
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