Tag Archives: covid 19

Pandemic humor…

 

Because laughter is literally the only medicine.

 

 

I haven’t walked into a bar in 142 days.

Let that sink in…. and tell me pigs aren’t flying somewhere.

 

 

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Correct signage has never been more important.

 

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I’m beginning to notice a trend.

 

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He’s right.

We probably are.

 

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Finally, a way to make men wear masks!

Thank you Katie.

And if all that was too depressing, let me leave you with this…..

 

 

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You’re welcome.

Pandemic humor.

 

Because it’s not over yet and laughter is still the only medicine.

 

 

Okay ladies, who’s with me?

 

 

I hope this was helpful.

Personally, I’ve never been peed on…. but you can never be too careful.

 

 

Fess up.

Which one of you morons did this and cursed us all?

 

 

Corona like a Viking!

Sword optional.

 

 

So take one for the team.

If I have to wear a bra in public, it’s the least you can do.

Pandemic humor.

 

Because if I don’t laugh I might have to hurt someone.

 

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Add a margarita and it sounds like a plan.

 

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Because if you won’t wear a mask, why should I wear pants?

And after almost 4 months of doing nothing?

Trust me… you want me to wear pants.

 

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Ah, Spam. The miracle meat no one wants to eat.

Wait a minute….. do you think they could behind this whole thing?

The virus is a hoax engineered to make people eat 83 year old canned ham!

Or maybe….

 

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It’s a canine revenge plot.

Either way, we’re stuck with it…

And it’s nice to see Maine stores still have a sense of humor.

 

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Come on people….

 

Get a grip.

I made a trek to the grocery store today where I was met with the same empty ‘oh my God the sky is falling and we’ll never be able to buy dish soap again’ shelves.

Yes, dish soap.

 

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Good grief, are we still doing this?

By all means wear a mask to protect others.

 

 

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Preferably color coordinated to your shirt.

But enough with the ‘we must fill the underground bunker with every canned good in a 600 mile radius’ mentality.

The news squawks about meat shortages…. but the cases were full of every conceivable type of flesh imaginable.

But rice?

 

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Unless you want red quinoa brown…. which I didn’t, and never will ….. no can do.

 

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Tolerant chick pea and green lentil pasta?

No, damn it! I have no tolerance for that.

 

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Toilet paper? Nope.

Not unless you’re supposed to use those strategically placed plastic loofahs.

Look… there’s one shaped like an ice cream cone!

That has possibilities.

 

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The lack of eggs was definitely a new development.

When I spoke with the cashier she assured me that they do get regular deliveries and stock the shelves as they always have. No one has an explanation for the continued panic buying after all this time.

It really is getting old, as well as ridiculous.

 

 

 

Sunrise, pandemic rocks, great ideas and dirty birds.

 

A post of random trivial things that aren’t worthy of their own blog.

First, a sunrise photo a friend of mine took the other day.

 

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She lives on a lake…. and I have to say that looks like a pretty sweet way to wake up.

Rocks?

Don’t mind if I do.

The Covid 19 versions someone cleverly painted.

 

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Brilliant ideas?

Yes, they’re still out there.

 

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See?

I found one.

These days social distancing is more important then ever….. so let’s commend those who go the extra mile.

 

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What?

She doesn’t know where that bird has been.

 

 

 

 

I’m just going to say this once.

 

And I don’t want to start a partisan political fight.

But I’m getting tired of people snarkily saying, “You know that’s not going to protect you.” every time I go out in public with my cloth face mask firmly in place.

Yes, I know it’s not going to protect me.… but it’s going to protect you against airborne infected droplets in case I’m asymptomatic, which apparently many of us are.

I protect you, and I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you protect me… and by default my older husband who has 3 major underlying health conditions that would make catching Covid 19 a possible death sentence. I’m not an alarmist, or a panicker. I’m level headed and calm, but when it comes to my husband’s life? I’m not taking chances.

 

 

 

 

I get that the economy can’t be shut down indefinitely. I understand people are suffering, and if I could trust them to protect others? I would have no problem opening businesses. But a lot of the people I know who are out there protesting in large unprotected groups have jobs they can work from home and steady incomes.

They’re just upset they can’t go out and play.

 

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Yeah…. let that sink in.

Pubs. In Ireland!

If the Irish can stop consuming their pints in public? I think Americans can deal with a little piece of cloth if it helps save lives.

And to those who say the crisis isn’t that serious because they don’t personally know anyone who’s ill? We’re relatively lucky in Maine, we have a low contraction and death rate, but even here…. in my small rural town? I know people. Our neighbor who lives behind us has it. Our neighbor to the left’s parents have it, one severe enough to require hospitalization.

It’s here.

It’s everywhere.

As this sad picture posted by a childhood friend who lives in NYC can attest.

 

 

There are no sympathy cards because there are too many deaths. If that isn’t the definition of serious, I don’t know what is.

Rant over.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled program.

When ya gotta go…..

 

Due to the nationwide shortage of toilet paper, I feel it’s necessary to share a little history.

As well as a helpful alternative in these troubling times.

You know the old saying, “When in Rome?”

Well……

 

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The Ancient Romans were never bothered by a lack of tripe ply Charmin.

No, sir.

Not when they had their handy tersoriums.

 

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I’ll pause for a moment to let you conjure a mental image of using one the next time you pay a visit.

Got it?

Alright then…. moving on.

 

 

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Death by lion…. or swallowing a tersorium?

Sorry, but I’m going with the lion every time.

And in case you’re interested?

You should be thanking this man that you’re not outside searching for a stick right now.

 

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Joseph C. Gayetty.

The inventor of modern toilet paper.

 

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Corn cobs?

No thank you.

But if the Covid shortage continues, we’re all going to wish the Sears catalog was still being printed.

 

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And now that I think about it….

Maybe I need to check the husband’s barn for this stuff. If anyone has some, it will be my other half.

 

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Far be it for me to woo my own destruction.