.

At the turn of the century, Indian leopards developed a taste for human flesh. (If that’s not a great line to start a blog? I don’t know what is.)

.

.

Pop a hot coal in grandma’s mouth and roll her down the hill? I know India is hot… but that’s cold.

.

.

As much as I love all animals… (and I do! Weirdos like wombats, echidnas, and warthogs? Love ‘em all.) I can not stand monkeys. They’re shifty little bastards and this proves my point.

.

.

Jet propelled ejaculate? Yet another reason to dislike monkeys…

.

.

I’m sure that’s more than you ever wanted to know about jerking off a monkey, but I live to educate.

You’re welcome.

.

.

Religion is a strange thing. When random rats start dropping from the sky? My first thought is not going to be a blessing, I can guarantee you that.

.

.

This is wonderful news. I must move to Britain immediately! Red squirrels are in decline? It sounds like heaven.

.