I posted about the 50th anniversary Woodstock concert the other day…

How my husband went to the original, and left.

How I was toddling around the backyard waiting to grow up and deride him mercilessly for it.

This Woodstock anniversary concert will never capture the spirit of the first.

It can’t.

Those days are gone, and so are the hippies.

To be honest, there isn’t much peace and brotherhood left either.

So if you experienced the original or like me, just wished you’d been old enough to….

Here’s an article I found that sums it up pretty well:

33 Pictures That Show How Insanely Cool The Original Woodstock Was

Woodstock ’94 was fine, whatever.

No offense but it wasn't memorable. My brother said Green Day performed there or something.

Woodstock ’99 was a gross shit-show disaster.

At the time, MTV said, and I quote:

“The air smelled of burning garbage, as well as urine and feces.”

And with news that Woodstock is coming back for the 50th anniversary this year,

I thought it was fitting to revisit the original Woodstock.

1. The first Woodstock took place over 3 days in August 1969.

2. 50,000 people were expected…but nearly 1 million showed up.

3. People were sleeping in cemeteries.

4. But, somehow, SOMEHOW, it didn’t devolve into a Fyre Fest shit storm.

I mean, to be honest, there was 1 toilet per 833 people. Also, two people died. One got ran over by a tractor, the other was a drug overdose, sooo yeah.

5. Everyone was naked, and also pretty hot.

6. Naked…and hot.

7. There were hippies on poles.

8. Hippies on cars.

9. Hippies making hot dogs.

10. Hippies strung out under umbrellas.

11. Hippies sleeping on cars.

12. Hippies feeding babies watermelon.

13. Hippies cleaning up trash.

14. Just so many hippies.

15. Everyone looked like they worked at Urban Outfitters.

16. Glares at you while you shop

17. Everyone looked like what the people who go to Coachella aspire to look like…

18. …except these people didn’t go for new content for their Instagrams.

19. Vanessa Hudgens wishes

20. Shia LaBeouf could only hope.

21. There were weed stands.

22. There were dirty toe rings.

23. Cool hats.

24. Jeans for $5.

25. Have I mentioned all the hot naked people?

26. Volunteers were making food for everyone.

27. This man put a chair on his head.

28. She got stuck in mud.

29. In an impressive display of teamwork and grace, these people balanced cardboard on their heads.

30. A woman that literally could be from 2019.

31. Basically, this might be the only time in history a music festival was cool.

32. The one, the only, the legendary: Woodstock ’69.

33. Instagram ruins everything.

The End.

It’s been a long running joke in our marriage that my husband went to Woodstock ….

(Yes, the original. And yes, he’s that old)

Took a look around, and left.

Left!

Left the greatest live musical event in history!

I know, that was my reaction too.

The joke is, had I known this disturbing piece of information before we got married… it would have been a deal breaker.

In August of 1969, when the counter culture was doing this?

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And listening to this?

00_Crosby-Stills-Nash-and-Young-at-Woodstock-1969

I was…

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Yeah. Walking the dog with some sassy red kicks.

Needless to say, I was too young to attend.

So years later, when I heard my beloved other half say Woodstock “wasn’t his scene”, and that he had hitch hiked to New York that August, joined the throngs of hippies walking to the concert, “saw a bunch of half naked people dancing and smoking dope” and decided to leave?

A little piece of me died.

I would have killed to be there. Rain, mud et al.

In my hippie days of the late 70’s, the closest I got was following the Dead around New England… or going to the Claremont Music Festival in New Hampshire. We camped out, we smoked weed, it rained… but it still wasn’t Woodstock.

And now, in August 2019 on the 50th anniversary? There’s another Woodstock brewing.

I was thrilled!

The husband even agreed to go!

l-9921-yaying-mantises

(Probably just to shut me up about the first one, but who cares!)

And then I saw the list of performers.

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And while a few of the original artists will be there…. Santana, Fogerty from CCR, Country Joe McDonald and David Crosby (no, I’m not counting Dead and Company with John Mayer. Please! Without Jerry, they’re not the Dead)…. scanning the list made me want to cry.

Soccer Mommy? Pussy Riot? Amigo the Devil?

Damn. I must be old, because I don’t know half of these groups. And while I love the Black Keys, Dawes, The Lumineers, and a handful of others? My need for more classic rock, folk or blues from back in the day makes me think to hell with it. You can’t go home again.

And apparently you can’t go back to Max Yasgur’s farm either because the event is being held 150 miles away in Watkins Glen.

At the race track.

With a limited amount of tickets because they’re worried about traffic jams.

Traffic jams?

Good god.

There’s even an app.

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Peace, love and music?

I doubt it. The Millennials have taken over and it will probably be merchandised to within an inch of it’s life and have more to do with profit than peace and brotherhood.

Sigh…

Sorry husband. It looks like you’re still going to have to take my crap about leaving the first one.

And rightfully so.

Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.