Because laughter is the only contagious thing I want to catch.
That sounds about right.
We didn’t.
We really didn’t….
I’m all for this.
As hard as lock down has been, there are some people I’ve been quite happy to avoid.
I could totally rock that look.
Yeah.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it with the conspiracy theorists.
That’s so wrong.
Tight pants.
A pandemic symptom I can totally relate to.
Which brings me to the new anthem for the Covid age.
Sing it sister!
On a gloomy, overcast Sunday morning….we started putting trim board on the baby barn at 9:00am.
At 10:00am we were still on the first piece.
And yes, at 11:00am we were still there as well.
Frustrating?
A wee bit.
Cutting angles is not our forte….. and it almost made me wish I’d paid more attention in 7th grade geometry.
A lot of serious thought, planning… not to mention cursing…. was going on right there.
And before you say “Use a mitre saw!”, we did. But the building is less than straight and square and when we finally did manage to get it right?
It was still wrong.
Thank God for flashing. It covers a multitude of sins.
So this side looked good.
But when we turned the corner?
Not so much.
How the Hell did that happen?
There was only one solution.
Sit on the big barn porch and photograph it from far away.
Yes.
Much better.
More flashing, more nightmarish trim board.
And if you’re asking what I contributed to the project?
Besides acting as a general gopher…. because when the husband is up his tools are down, and when he’s down his tools are up… my contribution was this:
Classic tunes on shuffle.
There he goes again, ever the optimist.
Thankfully the husband used to do roofing when he was young, so yes. The shingles were perfectly level.
And because he was so thrilled something was finally level?
He checked it again.
And again.
I gave up on him at 6:00pm and headed inside for dinner, but he was out there until 8:00 trying to reach the top.
He didn’t quite make it.
I think my satellite radio is trying to tell me something….
There’s a school in Reykjavik, Iceland that teaches you how to spot elves?
I did, because….
Yes, you can enroll here and start learning all there is to know about trolls, fairies, gnomes and other assorted mythical creatures.
Did you know...
The tongues of flamingos were a common delicacy at ancient Rome feasts?
Apparently Nero thought so as well.
Did you know.…
The word misteltoe derives from the Anglo-Saxon words mistel and tan?
Mistel means dung…. and tan means twig. So the next time you steal a kiss at Christmas? You’ll be doing it under a dung twig.
Can’t get much more romantic than that.
Did you know….
The band Steely Dan got it’s name from a William Bourroughs book called Naked Lunch.
Steely Dan III was a strap on dildo.
Which gives an entirely new meaning to this meme.
(Yes, all the above statements are true.
Knowledge is a wonderful thing!)
I try not copy and paste things from Facebook very often….
And I know pandemics shouldn’t be taken lightly, but damn.
These reactions from the CDC to popular music lyrics made me laugh so hard I actually snorted.
Waiting for the husband the other day….. (I swear, that man will talk to a rock) I sat aimlessly, playing with my phone.
Scoped Apple news, saw an article on concerts in Las Vegas and thought, we have timeshare resorts there…. I’ll take a look.
Lady Gaga in October?
That could be fun.
Or not…
I believe my jaw literally dropped open.
Okay, I get it.
I’m old.
My concert going days ended with the Grateful Dead and CSN. Back when a record was an actual vinyl record… (look it up kids, V- I- N- Y- L)
But mother of god!
$8,097 for 2 tickets?
For that price I’ll want Gaga to rip some of that meat off her dress, cook me dinner and do the dishes when she finishes singing.
Who the hell can afford that?
Again… I know, I’m old. 55, that’s practically dead.
And the last ticket price I paid was probably $75.
But damn.
You shouldn’t have to mortgage your house to see a show.
I did, because…
Did you know…
The phrase “hands down” (as in “He won that game hands down.”) was first used in the 19th century to describe a horse racing victory? It signified the jockey was so far ahead he could drop the reins and relax his arms.
Well, not quite.
Did you know….
Bruno Mars played an Elvis impersonator as a child in the 1992 film Honeymoon in Vegas?
It’s true.
Did you know….
Mosquito repellants do not repel, they hide.
The spray blocks a mosquito’s sensors so they don’t even know you’re there.
Did you know…
During WWII, America tried to train bats to drop bombs.
Silly Americans, what were we thinking?
Bats won’t even play fetch.
Did you know….
The Roman emperor Caligula made his horse a Senator.
Maybe we should try this….
It can’t be any worse.
Did you know…
The Bible has been translated into Klingon?
Well, you do now.
There’s a new kid in town.
( Alright, an old new kid )
Rolling Stone magazine has finally added an advice column and it’s authored by, of all people…. David Crosby.
You remember David Crosby…. from Crosby, Stills and Nash? ( and Young, if you’re old enough ).
Yes, he’s still alive.
And honestly doesn’t look that much different 49 years later.
I’ve always been a huge CSN ( & Y ) fan …. and I think I’m going to enjoy his no nonsense approach to advice columns as well.
So check out the inaugural outing….
It’s time for class!
No worries, there won’t be a test.
Maine Adult Education offers endless opportunities to shake your head and say WTF? enrich your mind. Last year there were some fascinating topics:
You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.
You’re never to old to learn…. Potatoes.
You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele
You’re never too old to learn…. Chakra Toning.
You’re never too old to learn…. Mindfulness.
And this year started off with a bang as well…
You’re never to old to learn…. Tin Cans.
Today’s selection from the brochure of the bizarre curriculum is:
Yes, you too can have your very own flute made from a pesky weed in your backyard.
To hell with cutting it down…
Blow into it and start a band.
You’ll be the envy of your friends, I promise.
And in case you’re unfamiliar…
Japanese Knotweed is a large, extremely invasive plant.
actual photo of Japanese Knotweed swallowing small child
It’s almost impossible to get rid of once it takes hold, and ironically… cutting only spreads it.
There really is only one reliable course of action available.
So why not take the class…
And make a flute before it swallows you whole?
I just heard Apple is killing iTunes and I’m not happy.
iTunes and I have spent many happy years together gathering a vast library of music. I’ve happily downloaded the music of my youth, my adolescence, my single years, my married years and my rapidly approaching decrepitude.
I’m invested damn it!
The iPod and I are tight.
I have the giant one. It holds 40,000 songs and though I haven’t filled it?
I wanted to.
And then I read Apple… in all their infinite F.U. Tim Cook, you’re no Steve Jobs wisdom, are breaking iTunes up into different apps and focusing on streaming.
Streaming.
I don’t want to stream. I want my songs.
My weirdo… no one has ever heard of the band… songs.
The songs I oh so carefully and painfully slowly converted from my 33 1/3 album collection….
(For millennial readers? 33 1/3rd’s are those shiny black discs people bend into bowls and sell at your local flea markets.)
… and the obscure songs I could always find and download from the iTunes store.
Pousette Dart Band’s Yaicha?
Yeah, I’ve got that.
Moon Martin’s Bootleg Woman?
Yup. Got that too.
iTunes had everything!
Apple says that our libraries will be safe… if you bought it you can keep it. But will the store be there for future downloads?
Researching the demise, I found this:
Okay, I run iTunes on Windows…. so I can still breathe.
For now.
But if you need me in the next few weeks? Tough.
I’ll be busy downloading scores of music while I still can.
You know, quality stuff.
Like Ultimate Spinach… and The Flying Burrito Brothers.
River's world..... 