Tag Archives: music

Say it isn’t so Apple….

 

I just heard Apple is killing iTunes and I’m not happy.

 

 

iTunes and I have spent many happy years together gathering a vast library of music. I’ve happily downloaded the music of my youth, my adolescence, my single years, my married years and my rapidly approaching decrepitude.

I’m invested damn it!

The iPod and I are tight.

 

 

I have the giant one. It holds 40,000 songs and though I haven’t filled it?

I wanted to.

And then I read Apple… in all their infinite  F.U. Tim Cook, you’re no Steve Jobs  wisdom, are breaking iTunes up into different apps and focusing on streaming.

Streaming.

 

 

I don’t want to stream. I want my songs.

My weirdo… no one has ever heard of the band… songs.

The songs I oh so carefully and painfully slowly converted from my 33 1/3 album collection….

(For millennial readers?  33 1/3rd’s are those shiny black discs people bend into bowls and sell at your local flea markets.)

… and the obscure songs I could always find and download from the iTunes store.

Pousette Dart Band’s Yaicha?

 

 

Yeah, I’ve got that.

Moon Martin’s Bootleg Woman?

 

 

Yup. Got that too.

iTunes had everything!

 

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Apple says that our libraries will be safe… if you bought it you can keep it. But will the store be there for future downloads?

 

 

Researching the demise, I found this:

 

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Okay, I run iTunes on Windows…. so I can still breathe.

For now.

But if you need me in the next few weeks? Tough.

I’ll be busy downloading scores of music while I still can.

You know, quality stuff.

Like Ultimate Spinach… and The Flying Burrito Brothers.

 

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Are we really doing this?

 

I saw an advertisement the other day that made me do a double take.

 

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This is one of those times.

Huh?

 

 

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Are we really doing this?

Baby Pod.

“The intravaginal device that entertains your fetus with an insertable speaker for your baby maker.”

 

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It’s basically a small  ( I hope! ) speaker that pregnant women can insert into their vaginas to play music for their uterine inhabitants.

 

Now while I’m usually down for any new tech that hits the market,

And I’ve connected my iPhone to a lot of different things over the years….

I admit this one gives me pause.

Here’s the science behind it:

 

Dr. Marisa López-Teijón from Institut Marquès said that her team studies the influence of music on embryonic and fetal development.”We’ve conducted a study showing that musical vibrations increase the chances that the sperm fertilizes the egg, i.e. that music improves IVF.”

Having found better results in in-vitro fertilization through musical vibrations for embryos, the researchers decided to apply their idea to fetuses.

López-Teijón and her team placed speakers on pregnant women’s abdomens during ultrasounds but found no fetal reaction. “In fact, gynecologists had never observed in an ultrasound a change on the fetus as a reaction to external noises or the voice of the mother,” the doctor explained.

“We decided that we had to bring closer to them the source of sound,” she continued. “We had to bring the background music into the uterus. And I had the idea of inserting a speaker in the vagina of pregnant women.”

 

 

I’m sure Apple Music and Spotify are thrilled.

 

 

 

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For three months, the team evaluated 106 expectant mothers and their unborn babies’ reactions to intravaginal music. “We were pleasantly surprised to see the excitement of parents during ultrasound sessions to see the spectacular images of face, tongue and mouth movements of their babies,”López-Teijón said, adding that most patients wanted to repeat the experience and many more parents-to-be requested to participate.

 

 

I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest seeing spectacular images of their babies faces isn’t the only reason mothers are feeling excitement.

 

 

 

 

 

Admittedly, I don’t have children…. so forgive me if I’m speaking out of turn.

But if this had been available during my child bearing years?

Junior would probably have ended up like this.

 

 

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Woodstock revisited.

Peace, love…. and no thanks.

 

It’s been a long running joke in our marriage that my husband went to Woodstock ….

(Yes, the original. And yes, he’s that old)

Took a look around, and left.

 

 

Left!

Left the greatest live musical event in history!

 

 

 

I know, that was my reaction too.

The joke is,  had I known this disturbing piece of information before we got married… it would have been a deal breaker.

In August of 1969, when the counter culture was doing this?

 

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And listening to this?

 

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I was…

 

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Yeah. Walking the dog with some sassy red kicks.

Needless to say, I was too young to attend.

So years later, when I heard my beloved other half say Woodstock  “wasn’t his scene”, and that he had hitch hiked to New York that August, joined the throngs of hippies walking to the concert, “saw a bunch of half naked people dancing and smoking dope” and decided to leave?

 

 

A little piece of me died.

I would have killed to be there. Rain, mud et al.

In my  hippie days of the late 70’s, the closest I got was following the Dead around New England… or going to the Claremont Music Festival in New Hampshire. We camped out, we smoked weed, it rained… but it still wasn’t Woodstock.

And now, in August 2019 on the 50th anniversary? There’s another Woodstock brewing.

I was thrilled!

The husband even agreed to go!

 

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(Probably just to shut me up about the first one, but who cares!)

And then I saw the list of performers.

 

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And while a few of the original artists will be there…. Santana, Fogerty from CCR, Country Joe McDonald and David Crosby  (no, I’m not counting Dead and Company with John Mayer. Please! Without Jerry, they’re not the Dead)…. scanning the list made me want to cry.

Soccer Mommy? Pussy Riot? Amigo the Devil?

Damn. I must be old, because I don’t know half of these groups. And while I love the Black Keys, Dawes, The Lumineers, and a handful of others? My need for more classic rock, folk or blues from back in the day makes me think to hell with it. You can’t go home again.

And apparently you can’t go back to Max Yasgur’s farm either because the event is being held 150 miles away in Watkins Glen.

At the race track.

With a limited amount of tickets because they’re worried about traffic jams.

Traffic jams?

Good god.

There’s even an app.

 

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Peace, love and music?

I doubt it. The Millennials have taken over and it will probably be merchandised to within an inch of it’s life and have more to do with profit than peace and brotherhood.

Sigh…

Sorry husband. It looks like you’re still going to have to take my crap about leaving the first one.

And rightfully so.