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Only when he absolutely has to.

32 Comments

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I like new tech. My husband? Not so much. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that my husband uses his cell phone as … don’t faint… an actual phone. You know, to speak with people like we did in the old days before texting was invented and we didn’t have to.

His phone was old. Moldy green cheese old. It was an iPhone 4 he bought in 2010… we’re talking the tech equivalent of a dinosaur fossil. It didn’t matter that it couldn’t be updated, that the battery had to be charged every few hours, that the home button stuck more often than not or that the display was blurry and dark. He liked it because he was used to it and fears new technology in general. No matter how many times times I encouraged him to trade it, he refused.

Until last week when we got a letter from Verizon Wireless saying they’ll be switching to a 5G network on December 31rst and my husband’s beloved antiquated phone will cease to exist. Kaput. Dead. Bye bye. Needless to say the other half wasn’t pleased and railed against the injustice of obsolete tech for hours on end.

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Cool typewriter aside, Verizon was doing just that, so I dragged my sputtering husband to the Verizon store the next day to upgrade his phone before the rush caused a stock shortage. And believe me, he sputtered. He sputtered on the drive there, he sputtered to the other customers, he sputtered to the sales associate, he sputtered to the check out girl and he sputtered on the drive home. Why he was sputtering when we managed to snag a great deal I’m sure I don’t know. The man just likes to sputter.

His old iPhone was worth exactly nothing, but they gave him a $700 credit, with which he bought the new iPhone 13 …. price tag $800. $100 for a new phone? Sweet! And because the deal was so good? I traded in my XR on the 13 Pro Max and only paid $200 for a $1,300 phone. Even sweeter! And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better? I learned our bill will be $24 less a month.

Score!

Does the husband like his new phone? After an hour of very patient instruction from yours truly, he wouldn’t give me the satisfaction… but I think he loves it. And I hope that’s true, because Lord knows he’ll probably keep it until 2034.

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32 thoughts on “Only when he absolutely has to.”

    2. Add my name to the list. The only thing i use my android for, beside phoning, is texting. I can answer a text anytime. I don’t have to drop what I am doing when what I am doing is more important, or more fun, than answering the damn phone.
      But I cannot believe the prices, or the credit values. If they are only asking $200 for a $1300 phone, then they are charging $1200 too much. Their profit margin is well over 300% of the actual cost of the machine. I cannot even calculate the profit margin for anyone who pays full price!

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  2. Well, that figures. I bought a Motorola a few years back to eventually get the Hasselblad 10X optical zoom and now my phone is gonna bite the dust. Lovely. Bitching over, time to live with it.
    As for the young lady with the old people equipment, I’m willing to split that with her. TV’s are good and getting better. As far as I can tell, the best audio gear out now just keeps up with the earlier stuff. There’s nothing quite like being able to fry chicken over the tubes on your amplifier.

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  3. “And then shall the day verily come that the needle doth find the groove and, in that great and terrible day, the boomers shall turn the knob to the right and call down the thunder.”
    Now, let us all open our hymnals to number 976, Carry on, Wayward Son. Praise the lord.

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  7. Such great deals on your phones. We don’t have enough competition up here when it comes to cell phones. You will probably find your husband telling his pool buddies all about his new phone the next time they get together in the man cave.

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  8. I just wrote an article this week on how to dispose of antiquated technology (I love that you even used the same word I did), so these stats are fresh in my mind: When electronic devices were first mass produced, their lifespan averaged 40 years. Today, that average lifespan has been cut drastically — down to 1.5–13 years, with most devices lasting 4–5 years.

    Given that, it’s a small miracle your husband’s phone still worked at all.

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      1. “Planned obsolescence” is just a fancy term for “corporate greed.”

        Though to be fair, a lot of it is people simply wanting the latest and greatest tech. I’m guilty of that myself. I’ve had my current phone for almost 3.5 years now and that is a record.

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      2. When it comes to phones and computers and tv’s I love new. But we’ve been through 3 pricey refrigerators in the past 16 years. I wish those damn things lasted longer.

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      4. When we moved into our current house it had an ugly ass old almond colored Montgomery Ward. The thing worked perfectly and had probably been here for 30 years. But NO, I didn’t like the way it looked. Three refrigerators and almost $7,000 later that old Monty Ward is probably still running somewhere.
        😩

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  10. I’m a bit like that with the 5G – I don’t understand why we need it (yes I know it’s to keep up with all the other new tech and video stuff, but there’s so much more toxic stuff going to landfill with new tech…) And in a sort of conspiracy entertaining way – I’m also thinking keeping landlines is a good idea, because I’m worried they could bop satellites out of the sky and there’d be no comms at all.

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