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I was helping.
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In so far as the husband would let me help… with what was my idea to begin with. That’s usually how things go at Casa River. I want to do something and come up with a plan… then the husband gets involved and does it completely his way.
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Granted he knows more about stone wall building… but I had a vision ya know?
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I like weird looking rocks, like this bird’s head skeleton I placed in the corner ….
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And these two that look like ham steaks. I wanted them prominently placed to give the border some quirk and character.
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So of course the husband moved all three and buried them. When I said something? He got ticked off and told me I can let him build it or hire someone else to do exactly what I want… and believe me that’s tempting.
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I love my husband. I do. He’s a wonderful man. But it would be nice if we could a work project together… in harmony, like we used to. Whether it’s male menopause, adjusting to retired life or basic old man crankiness .. lately he tests my patience to the point where I just have to walk away. Why must every difference of opinion turn into a fight? It’s exhausting.
Do you work well with your spouse/significant other. Or do you have to take a hike as well?
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River's world..... 
It happens and, bad as I hate to say it, it’s just as often me.
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At least you admit it! I know when I’m being difficult… but if it was my idea, my project vision and I’m the one who will have to care for it going forward? I expect a little consideration.
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My ex would let me do a task my way and then complain about it no longer than the rest of my life.
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I try to avoid that and nip it in the bud.
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Working with rocks might make anyone cranky. I have to re-set a stone path to our garden shed. I am not looking forward to it.
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And I allow for random crankiness. But this is a whole other level….
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We have gotten much better over time with this kind of stuff. The projects are now always talked out before we even begin. Once we get done the planning – which definitely involves serious compromise at times – we’re good to go.
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That’s a gift. Cherish it….
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My husband does things his own way also but we have our separate garden space. In the end, I end up invading his space and he takes care of mine. Right now, he is finishing an ugly job in the side yard of getting rid of a mass of mother-in-law plants, so I can put my containers.
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My husband mows and trims occasionally, but never gardens. He’ll plant a tree but won’t water it. Loves to cut things down with his chainsaw though.
😐
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It rains often here during the summer, so we are good. The marine nearby likes the chainsaw also and the weed blower as does the husband.
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Late July and August are typically drier here, but this year it started in June and now we’re near drought conditions.
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I “turn into a guy” around power tools but I us7ally get over it after about 10min of use.
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“But it would be nice if we could a work project together… in harmony, like we used to.” My wife said the same thing almost verbatim last weekend when we were setting up patio furniture around the brick firepit I built. I personally like having camping chairs staged around it. Her, not so much. I think my male menopause just has me not going along to get along so much anymore.
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I have no problem with differing opinions, we always used to discuss the pros and cons of everything and then decide. Now? The minute I don’t agree with him on something he takes it as a personal insult. WTH?
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It’s a mystery.
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I think appreciating both perspectives is good. My husband can visualize things I can’t so the areas of the garden I work in are eclectic but I can definitely appreciate his sense of order which works well in our garden. My eclecticism gives it a kick and works, mostly. As for the weeding, we both weed depending on our schedule. This works also as we weed alone or sometimes together. He can also carry some heavier items. Now, he is off to Home Depot for some more rocks.
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Your husband weeds?
That makes you one very lucky woman. Mine has never pulled a weed in his life.
🥴
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Yes, he does on his hands and knees with knee pads. It helps if I promise to not be there or take pics of him. It is also good that we work on different sides of the house sometimes or in different parts of the garden but yeah we can weed together, mostly.
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You are truly blessed!
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Weeding may be the most important part of a garden’s health factor. It takes an extreme team effort to stay ahead of those velociraptors masquerading as Dandelions.
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Up here it’s creeping Charlie. It takes over in no time flat.
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Gee……I don’t have this problem. No husband, no arguing and doing things only my way 😁👍🪴. Ok the cat has opinions and at times does get on my nerves. But I always override him because, I pay the mortgage and bills….sorry Charlie.
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There are benefits to being single.
🤣
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And drawbacks as well…….😵💫
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Indeed.
There wouldn’t be a stone border at all if I had to do it myself.
Of course if my husband hadn’t blown grass clippings in the original bed for 20 years I wouldn’t need a stone border…so I guess it’s a draw.
😉
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I have taken a permanent hike away from all things male. I don’t know if I could ever compromise (aka give in/give up 😁) again. I like being the only decision maker waaaaaaay too much, I have found. 😉
She no longer plays well (or at all) with others.
Deb
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Marriage is about compromise. (And I’m fine with that, since I get my way most of the time anyway.) But Mr. Cranky Pants has got to go.
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I’m sorry. I liked the ham steaks.
The fact that he buried them on purpose bothered me FOR YOU. 😘
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If I had a dollar for every tine I said, “I love my husband. I really do,” in the last few years…
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I’m sure they say the same about us. The difference is, we’re always right.
🤣
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Anything I say Cupcake would read and I might just be in big doo-doo, so I will leave it at this: He is a Marine.
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Yes. But he’s always been a Marine. This is new….
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“Do you work well with your spouse/significant other. ” Of course I do–I am my significant other and I am my spouse!!
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You never disagree with yourself? How strange..
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No SO here. I used to have neighbors who lived, worked, and socialized together and only fought about her excess spending. I couldn’t live like that – I need time away!!
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A hike. Almost always a hike.
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I can see why that would be frustrating for you. I’m guessing he might be dealing with a combination of retirement and aging crankiness.
We generally see things differently here, it’s the Mars VS Venus thing, I think. But I must confess that I generally get my way, and when I don’t, I’m kind of in shock. 😳
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That might very well be the problem here.
🤣
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We take the whole Team MarTar moniker seriously. Maybe that won’t be the case in a decade or two, but I’d like to think we’ll always work well together.
Love the ham steaks!
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Get back to me on that after your 38th anniversary. We used to work well together too.
🤷♀️
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