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Because we all need a little more silly in our lives.
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I’ve had my share of asshole plants. Matter of fact, I’m looking at one right now.
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See it up there taunting me? Scraggly, half dead. Yellow and brown tipped leaves so I don’t know if it has too much water or not enough. What a jerk. And talk about a misnomer. It’s called a Philippine money tree but hasn’t dropped a single 20 dollar bill on me in the 5 years he’s lived here… the rat bastard.
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Umm… far be it for me to argue with granny, but that doesn’t look like a lady to me. Check your ad copy nana. He doesn’t need a bra as much as a girdle.
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Unexpected? How hard is it to chop celery for heavens sake.
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When they’re right, they’re right.
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River's world..... 
Asshat plants, I have two right now and I don’t know what they need either. It said on the plant when I bought it, full Sun, keep moist first year. Well, they don’t seem to want to live….assholes. Yeah I’m with you, that looks like a dude to me wearing those playboy bunny looking…..things.
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Thank you for the silliness. I really needed a laugh😂
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Happy to help!
👍
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How old is that manboob article? The pictured pasties havebeen available for ages by hundreds of sellers (I happen to have them marked on Amazon).
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It just popped up on my FB feed.
🤣
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I love the celery ones!!
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Plants. There was a time where the wife and I would just LOOK at one and it died. Now, it seems we can do no wrong with them (as I knock on wood, of course).
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To be honest this is my only dud, and I have over 20 in the house.
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You have way more than us, but maybe I’ll show off our success stories in the future. I’m tellin’ ya, for years anything we were given or bought was D.O.A.
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That’s why I get fake plants…
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Easier, but not much of a challenge.
😉
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But they don’t die….lol
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True…
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I think I’m killing one of orchids with too much attention?!? Is that even possible? I’ve tried everything. I’ve managed to keep one orchid (my first ever!) alive for several years, and it blooms 2xs a year, …he doesn’t get any extra attention or care at all. But these other ones. Asses all the way around!
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Orchids are the biggest asshole flower there is. So fussy!
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They are! And I feel like such a horrible person when they don’t make it! And I’m pretty decent at keeping plants alive! Jackholes!
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The Princesses of the plant world.
🤨
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If that’s a lady she needs to shave her belly! Good luck with the money plant!
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I saw some new leaves this morning, but no cash damn it.
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I would much rather bite into an Ice-Cube, that’s real water!
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Some plants need pots with holes in the bottom and a dish underneath to catch the water in. I noticed your money tree is not in such a pot. The soil at the bottom is probably always soaked, no matter what the soil on top is like. Try repotting the plant, and giving it as much new soil as you can.
I have a 50 year-old Dieffenbachia that came in a solid-bottom pot, and it almost died its first year. I repotted it into a holed bottom pot, and it has flourished ever since. I have given away hundreds of off-shoots from this plant over the years. Every time it reaches the ceiling I cut it down and make about 10 new plants from it while the original stalk grows a new set of leaves every time. It has lived on both coasts and a number of places inbetween. If I had higher ceilings it would probably grow 20 or more feet high. It is as hardy as a plant can be.
It also hit the front page of the Winnipeg Free Press in the 80s when I was moving it from one house to another. We transported it when it was about ten feet tall, in the back seat of a convertable Mustang. A reporter happened to see us, took a picture of us driving down the street, and it was put on the front page the next morning. 35 years later from that picture it is now living in High Level, AB. I will have to bequeath it to someome for after I die. It shows no sign of aging at all.
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Now that’s an impressive house plant. But this money tree lives in a double pot and I always take out the inner to water and drain it in the sink. I’m telling you, it’s just a jerk.
😉
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Oh, ok. Have you tried cutting brown
leaves off, or would that take all of them off? The plant puts more energy into damaged leaves, so if the brown ones are gone the good leaves get better energy. You probably know that, but just in case.
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Yes. Once they turn yellow or brown I snip them off as well. Might have to try a larger pot. Or buy another plant. 🤣
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Try the larger pot first, lol, please. Or mabe plant the money plant in a flower garden, andvsee if it wants a natural life.
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It would never survive the winter, I’ll try the larger pot.
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Good thinking.
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Celery is a surefire way to waste a perfectly good Bloody Mary by taking up valuable vodka space.
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Agreed.
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I’m thinking if the plant’s from the Philippines it might need somewhere humid. Maybe try it in the bathroom? Alternatively, it may just be an ass.
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That’s a good point. No windows in our bathrooms though….
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Laughing at the man bra and celery meme. SO true…it’s always getting stuck in my teeth.
Maybe you should move your money tree to the bank?
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