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Because regular news is so depressing these days.
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I heard the rat is now drinking Bud Light and filing for unemployment while living in his mother’s basement. His podcast is scheduled to go live next Saturday.
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Because everything needs an update, even Jesus.
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I’m on the fence with this one. Please try it for me and report back.
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Is it a shoe? Is it a bag? What’s going on here….
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Cheese in individual plastic wrappers is not cheese. It’s orange dyed rubber and should be banned from kitchens everywhere. Do yourself a favor and make your grilled sandwich from a nice Gruyère or Vermont cheddar. Your taste buds will thank me.
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River's world..... 
Grilled Cheese without Extra Sharp Vermont Cheddar = no thanks. Although in a pinch, Grilled Swiss on Rye works.
Too funny about Jesus getting “rebranded.” 😀
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You can never go wrong with cheddar.
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Extra sharp cheddar, if you can still find any. Our last source disappeared with Covid. Somewhere is a warehouse full of aging cheese, but no one knows because all the relevant people died! If found, it will be a gold cheesemine.
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Vermont is loaded with extra sharp cheddar. Why do you think we visit so often?
😉
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Never knew that. You can ship me some anytime you like. But you have to wrap it in odour-proof packaging. Canada Post employees are known to steal anything that smells like cheese, except perhaps limburger — which they refuse to deliver.
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Cheese thieves? How terrible..
https://www.vermontcountrystore.com/food/category/vermont-cheese
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Christ already has a brand: Brand X. People just don’t recognize it anymore.
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Eggo Nog tasting like toasted waffles? Intriguing. I’ll let you know if I go down that road. Do they still make cheese in individual wrappers? Ewwww. Whomever made that shoe really stepped in it, didn’t they?
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Stepped in it.. and bagged it up as well.
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I also read that the rat has qualified for Medicaid in California, has been afforded “protected minority” status, and has changed it’s identifier to “Panda” because everyone likes Pandas.
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One of the best bumper stickers I ever saw said, “I don’t have a problem with God. It’s his followers I can’t stand.” Priceless.
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That’s a good one. I have no issue with people following their faith. It’s the hypocrisy I can’t stand…
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Exactly.
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I think the rats with the implanted human brains became politicians.
People should just let Jesus speak for himself
Waffle eggnog? What is wrong with eggnog? Yeesh. What’s next? Pumpkin spice eggnog?
Not a real fan of bitter cheddar with the exception of grating it into a salad. The plastic stuff I’ll eat in a pinch, but I sure do like my munster, even if it is stringy …
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Hate to tell ya…Pumpkin Spice eggnog hasbeen around for awhile!
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I love cheese in all forms, but it has to be real cheese… not solidified colored oil.
As fur eggnog there’s pumpkin spiced everything else, that can’t be far behind.
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I eat Kraft Singles all the time… but specifically NOT melted.
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I think the Jesus ads are pretty spot on. The more fundamentalist his followers are, the more they need to pay attention to them.
I’ll make a grilled cheese out of any kind of cheese, if it’ll melt. What I won’t ever, EVER use is any kind of margarine. I like American cheese but I prefer the deluxe kind that was sliced off of a block.
The shoes would probably be good for keeping hitchhikers out of your shoe, but at what cost?
I put Maker’s Mark in my egg nog and I’m pretty sure our eggo making friends don’t. And “Appalachian sippin’ cream”? Don’t answer that.
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Margarine is the devils spread. Ick!
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I was looking for the “I am Jesus and I approved this message” tag line.
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🤣
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Good for you. We should all be looking for that.
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I love American cheese…and I live in Wisconsin. So much so that I blogged about it once. Haters gonna hate, and that’s fine: more for me! (P.S. it actually is real cheese, as opposed to Velveeta. I save my ire for that processed log o’ crap.)
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But Velveeta makes individually wrapped slices too…
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Really? Eww.
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I just saw acommercial for Jack In The Box and was reminded that they uses American “cheese” slices in their tacos. Super gross but I know people who love them.
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That’s so wrong.
🙁
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Who knew Jesus needed rebranding?
Those shoes are disgustingly ugly.
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I’m pretty sure Jesus was unaware.
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🥴
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This news is so much better than ‘news I can use’. At least it left me with a smile on my face which is more than I can say for the ‘regular’ news. Thanks for the laugh!
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You’re welcome. It’s a weekly series so for more useless news come on back.
😉
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