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News you can’t use.

34 Comments

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I’m still here, and the news is still useless.

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To cat owners, this is not news.

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I can’t say I’ve ever burped my house, but I’m willing to try.

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If aliens are flying Doritos shaped ships? Surely they can’t be all bad…

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More like a nightmare I’d say.

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I would think a zombie tree would be able to resurrect itself. Geesh, what a slacker.

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People are absolute idiots.

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She’s blonde. Clearly she thought there were lamp posts in the middle of the ocean lighting the way…

🥴

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34 thoughts on “News you can’t use.”

  1. Before I scrolled down to reveal the answer, I assumed she had used one of those special lights that show semen and other bodily fluids and that they were all over the ship. THAT would be terrifying.
    Maybe the zombie trees can kill all the AI bots.
    Doritos are triangles. Why wouldn’t they just say, “… triangular object spotted in the sky.”?

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  2. When I read about the Dorito shaped object in the sky I thought “Imperial battle cruiser” This made me feel better. I mean, if the weapons on the cruiser are as accurate as the ones the storm troopers carry, we’re safe as kittens.

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  5. I’ve been seeing that house burping headline all over. I guessed it had to do with people living in modern air-tight houses without air-to-air heat exchangers to bring in fresh air. In my leaky and uninsulated 110 year old house, I don’t have that concern.

    I guess the Lego/Crocs are so you don’t have to worry about stepping on Legos in your child’s bedroom in the middle of the night, since you’re already stepping on them with every step.

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  6. I read the house burping article – and yes, I’m a house burper. “Air, I need air!” My condo fees include utilities so I don’t care about the cost of heat or a/c. Altho, our current, unheard of, minus temps have me doing a lot less burping than usual.

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  7. Hey, no hair-colour-ism allowed. True that she should have guessed but we live in world where there are lampposts in the middle of forest (Read Chronicles of Narnia). 🤣
    Trying to resurrect ‘zombie: tree is not something I would suggest. I hope they are not biting.
    Well, I let my house ‘burp’ most days, though never heard a sound.
    Dorito-shaped UFOs are closely related with Lego-crocs–both obviously designed by toddlers.
    The cats always raise you. Sometimes, they even slap you to put you in your place (try touching their food 😜). No news there.

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  11. Meanwhile, aboard the Dorito:
    “First Space Alien: We believe that life forms on earth have developed nuclear weapons.
    Second Space Alien: Are they an emerging intelligence?
    First Space Alien: I think not. They’ve aimed the nuclear weapons at themselves.“
    (Humor by Congressman Ted Lieu)

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