Tag Archives: bicycle

Who remembers these?

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I admit I’m old enough to remember a penny candy store in my hometown. It was pure heaven for a child and the experience went something like this:

1. Your mother gave you a dollar.

2. You jumped on your banana seat Schwinn (with glittered streamers hanging off the handlebars because yeah, girlfriend… you rocked!) and pedaled like mad until you reached a hole in the wall shop by the railroad station.

( It was next to the Wo Lee Laundry run by your friend Wanda’s family. They lived upstairs and her mother didn’t speak a word of English. Poor Wanda missed a lot of childhood events helping her family clean rich people’s clothes. But it’s okay, don’t feel badly. Wanda was one smart cookie and graduated Harvard Med with honors. Somebody’s probably washing her clothes now. 😊)

3. You breathlessly entered the tiny store and the bell over the rickety old door clanged loudly enough to raise the dead. An elderly man hobbled out from the back room and took up position behind a miraculous display case filled with nothing but large jars of candy. He whipped out a small paper bag and said… go!

4. You spent a tense 10-15 minutes getting the mix just right. A dollars worth of penny candy was 100 pieces! 10 Bottle Caps or 15? 5 Pixie Sticks or 5 Razzles? Malted milk balls or Bit O Honey? Chuckles or Necco wafers? These were important decisions.

Most of the candies from my youth are gone, for which my teeth and hips are probably thankful…. but I saw this ad on Facebook last week and damned if it didn’t take me back to the mouth watering anticipation of having a bag filled with 100 pieces of customized candy.

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The original gummy candy. Why fish? Why not….

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If you’ve ever sucked on a root beer barrel? You know the exquisite combination of pleasure and pain. To hell with S&M kinky sex, slicing your tongue open on a razor sharp sliver of this sugar filled deliciousness is the very definition of ‘so bad, it’s good’.

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Nope. Those putrid pillowy abominations never made it into my bag. Uh uh.

🤨

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Lots of kids loved these, but I’m anti nut and always took a hard pass.

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Melt in your mouth little pockets of goodness right there. If I’m ever lucky enough to see them on the hostess stand as I exit a restaurant? I make everyone grab a handful and fill my purse with the bounty. Some opportunities can not be overlooked.

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Things there are no explanation for.

 

  1.    The grill cover that came with our new grill.

 

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Mind you, it’s custom made for this particular grill so it’s not a matter of fit.

So why on earth would a cover, that’s ostensibly used to protect the metal from the elements, have an opening of netted mesh where the metal controls are located?

Why?

2.    Mexican toilet paper.

 

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I live in Maine, which is as far as you can get from Mexico and still be in the United States….

 

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So why were these the only brands available on the grocery store shelf this week?

Why?

3.    Why is there a squirrel on top of my bicycle in the garage?

 

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If your answer is  “You don’t ride it, so why shouldn’t he?” that’s technically correct, but doesn’t explain how he got in the garage or why he wouldn’t rather use that special car wash broom attachment my husband had to have but never used instead. He had to walk past 2 dirty cars to find the bicycle…. and that’s just rude.

Why?

4.  Why is there coffee all over my kitchen cabinets?

 

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Not the lower cabinets mind you, where I could understand a little spillage…. but the upper. Did Micheal J. Fox sneak in for a cuppa while I wasn’t looking? Was the husband gettin’ jiggy with it while I was in the shower?

I don’t drink coffee, so no. I didn’t catch a glimpse of a bare chested Jason Momoa on the television and have a muscle spasm.

 

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Photo for reference purposes only.

Really.

And to think it only took me an hour to choose that particular shot. 😈

 

So…. why?

If you can explain any of these unexplainable circumstances, I’d be most grateful.