Today is Mother’s Day and Lord Dudley Mountcatten marked the occasion by doing absolutely nothing. He didn’t hack me up a hairball, he didn’t push his food bowl my way… he didn’t even drop a dead mouse at my feet. What a slacker!
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I mean really, would it have killed him to order me a box of cocktail chocolates?
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No, it would not. The lazy sod sleeps on the keyboard for heaven’s sake… and don’t tell me he doesn’t have thumbs. Those paws are more dexterous than you think.
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(Don’t laugh, kitty mothers count.) Come on Dudley… River needs a chocolate covered margarita.
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See? This cat made breakfast…. I don’t think I’m being at all unreasonable.
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I suppose with a blog title like You show me yours, I’ll show you mine this comment shouldn’t be surprising. And if the witch doctor is reuniting happy herpes free couples? Who am I to judge.
Right away I am going to do my breakfast, once having my breakfast coming yet again to read other news.
They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And clearly, this person prefers my blog to the morning newspaper. Makes me wonder if my posts have the same physiological effects as oatmeal.
I think we can all agree if you invite a cat into your home and heart, they quickly turn your house into their kingdom and rule with an iron fist. While all cat owners know this, there’s now an artist who’s showing us world domination isn’t far behind.
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*Gulp*
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Catzilla?
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He’ll make mincemeat out of those puny Power Rangers! And then perhaps, a pie.
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To be viewed while humming the old Vanity Fare song ‘Hitchin’ A Ride’.
I like flipping through magazines and finding cocktail recipes.
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Mmm…. this sounds refreshing. Needless to say I shall be adjusting the required alcohol amounts. 3 tbsps of gin? Bitch, please.
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I like finding a decent cat food Lord Dudley Mountcatten will actually eat.
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Three ingredients, you can’t beat that.
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In other news, I like cheese.
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Tell me you haven’t felt the same way. Go ahead… I dare you.
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If you’ve never tried Mrs. Meyer’s cleaning products you really should. Their scents are marvelous. Basil, geranium, honeysuckle, bluebell and the latest… fresh mown grass. Ooh la la! If it wasn’t so soapy I swear I’d use it as perfume.
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And finally, I like Dudley’s laissez faire attitude when it comes to dining. If the human puts your dinner in front of you when you’re lying down? Why bother getting up….
You never know when Lord Dudley Mountcatten will feel like playing. One minute he’s sound asleep on the couch while you’re watching Ken Burns’ documentary on Ernest Hemingway. The next?
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He’s nutty as a fruitcake and flinging his toys across the room.
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Maybe it was all the talk of Hemingway’s romantic entanglements that got him frisky. Ernest did love the ladies…
Lord Dudley Mountcatten has the full run of our house and sleeps on whatever bed, couch or chair strikes his fancy. But even in this personal Catopia there are limits and he is not allowed on the kitchen counters, tables or bedroom bureaus.
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You knew where this was going right?
While I’ve kicked him off our master bedroom bureaus enough times for him to get the message…
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Who, me?
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He seems to think the guest room is fair game.
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And happily parks his butt up there to look out the windows when he thinks I’m not looking.
Lord Dudley Mountcatten has been a finicky eater. When it comes to canned food he won’t eat fish. He won’t eat anything grilled or in pieces. No meaty morsels, no shreds. Nothing with cheesy bites or creamy sauce. The little bugger won’t even eat tuna FFS. It took me a solid month of trying every brand under the sun… from cheap to ridiculously expensive…. to find one kind he liked.
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It’s the only brand and variety he’ll eat every single time. So you know what that means….. it’s now virtually impossible to find. In person or online, and believe me I’ve tried. Oh, I could buy it on eBay.
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Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently it’s still being made but there’s a disruption in the supply chain which is making it scarce…. so the price gougers are in full swing. Amazon?
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A little better, but still outrageous. Sorry Dudley… you may have to learn to like bologna.
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Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
