Tag Archives: humor

You can’t make this stuff up.

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Well, alright you could.

But I’m not, I swear.

When last I blogged about the bedroom renovation project from Hell, we’d decided to throw in the towel and get a full refund on the faulty custom built windows. Our contractor was going to handle that for us since they were purchased through him on his account. It’s not the route I wanted to take, but something had to be done.

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Yeah, I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy.

Our contractor attempted to get the refund and spent a half hour arguing with the sales rep before being bumped up to the manager who told him no refund could be made by the store until the Marvin window service expert approved it.

This is the expert for whom we’ve been waiting over three weeks and the reason my husband has smoke coming out his ears while he sputters about small claims court. They keep saying he’ll be here but he hasn’t shown yet.

After endless phone calls our contractor tentatively got a date to meet the service expert here and then… yes, you know there had to be a then…. then he had an unexpected death in the family and had to fly to Virginua.

Of course he did.

I expected nothing less.

Our contractor wants to be here because he knows if the expert tries to weasel out of a full refund they’ll blame him for faulty installation and he wants to defend himself. I want him to be here because while I know he tried everything to make the windows work… I don’t know exactly what steps he took.

So as it stands now… the expert is supposed to be here tomorrow, but our contractor won’t be, as his flight doesn’t get in until midnight.

I’m honestly hoping the expert is true to form and arrives a day or two late as I don’t want my husband to burst an artery arguing with the guy.

What a f’ing mess.

🥴

Don’t bother with this one either.

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As I’ve previously stated, I’m all about the macaroni and cheese. It’s the ultimate comfort food and while I usually make an old fashioned recipe of my MIL’s that includes the dreaded Velveeta, I’m always willing to try other versions.

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6 cups of cheese? How can you go wrong.

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This looked promising when put together. Very smooth and so creamy it seemed positively soupy.

(I had to add crushed Ritz crackers tossed with half a stick of melted butter because the husband likes a topping.)

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Out of the oven it looked good.

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But when I spooned it out? The consistency was weird, almost quiche like.

And the flavor? Virtually non existent. Dull. Boring. Bland. Dry. And even though it had a large bowl of cheese… not cheesy at all. How the Hell did that happen?

I’ve been known to consume my weight in mac and cheese and that little square was all I ate… so you know it was bad.

Very disappointing.

😩

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Runaway pricing.

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Prices have gone up everywhere on everything. It’s nuts and no matter how much we bitch and complain there’s not really anything we can do about it except pay more… and bitch and complain.

This is me.

Bitching and complaining.

We live in Maine…a clean, beautiful, environmentally friendly state. We have returnable bottles and cans, a ban on plastic grocery bags and numerous recycling programs. You rarely see trash on the sides of the roads and while all that is wonderful it comes at a cost.

Like this one we just had to pay to dispose of a dead window air conditioning unit.

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Yikes.

And speaking of ridiculous charges?

When I reserved our rental car for the week long anniversary trip I planned… the price was $654.73.

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Until I got to the confirmation/pay page and it jumped to $911.39… a difference of $256.66. That’s one helluva lot of add ons.

Surcharges/Fees:

County Tax 5.00%:

Concession Recovery Fee
(11.11%)

Customer Facility Charge 5.00/
day:

Vehicle License Fee 4.00/day:

Taxes:

It’s the world we live in… but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

😡

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Things that made me laugh today.

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As you know I’m always up for a new cocktail recipe.

But there are limits to what you’ll hear me yelling at my local pub’s bartender from across the room.

“Gimme a Viking’s testicle” is one of those things.

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It just doesn’t make sense. How did a Flirtini became a testicle?

And where would a Viking find a pineapple anyway…

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Ah, hypocrisy.

Thou art a fickle bitch.

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There.

I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels the need to announce bovine presence.

🤣

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I found a good one.

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Yes, I tried another recipe I found online.

I can’t help myself at this point, but at least this one turned out to be tasty.

I don’t know the name of it so let’s just say it’s an Italian-y tortellini soup.

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Easy to make and quick… at a little over half an hour cooking time… I’d say with a few tweaks this one’s a keeper.

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Ingredients:

½ bunch kale, stems removed and leaves
chopped
⅓ cup heavy cream
3 tablespoons chopped fresh basil
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 pound Italian sausage, casing removed
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 medium sweet onion, diced
2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to
taste
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
4 cups chicken stock
1 (8-ounce) can tomato sauce

Instructions:


Heat olive oil in a large stockpot or Dutch oven
over medium heat. Add Italian sausage and cook
until browned, about 3-5 minutes, making sure
to crumble the sausage as it cooks; drain excess
fat.
Stir in garlic, onion and Italian seasoning. Cook,
stirring frequently, until onions have become
translucent, about 2-3 minutes; season with salt
and pepper, to taste.
Whisk in flour until lightly browned, about 1 minute.

Gradually whisk in chicken stock and tomato
sauce. Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer,
stirring occasionally, until reduced and slightly
thickened, about 10 minutes.
Stir in tortellini; cover and cook until tender,
about 5-7 minutes.
Stir in kale until wilted, about 1-2 minutes. Stir
in heavy cream and basil until heated through,
about 1 minute; season with salt and pepper, to
taste.
Serve immediately.

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I only changed one thing when I made this and I’m sure you can guess what that was.

Yes, I axed the noxious green devil’s weed called kale and substituted spinach.

When I make this again I think I’ll cut back on the sausage. If you like it really meaty, leave it as is… but a little sausage goes a long way for me.

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